The End

Jun Ian: And I will always remember the brief period we spent as...
Jon: As gods.
Jun Ian: I... wouldn't go that far.
Jon: I would!

Those four lines probably sums up the month of August for me. The two greatest events of my young life have come and gone, and I'll forever hold those memories close.

The 2006 Broadway Extraordinaire.

And the trip to Sacred Heart College in Perth.

Of the two, the former is a greater landmark in the history books; more than a month of hard practice resulting in two stellar shows. I'll always remember the saturday night concert forever. And I felt for a while that nothing could top it.

Then came the six days we spent in the company of Sacred Heart.

Simply put, it was the best week of my life. Period. Six perfect days, from start to finish. I never felt sadder as I walked through the departure gate, and it meant more than I could ever put in words when we cried all the way to the plane.

A picture being worth a thousand words and all that, I'm just going to go light on words and heavy on pictures.

We saw many things both strange and wonderful.

It wasn't Superman.

But it was close.

The Hearts loved our dance, even though the music started too early and people were screwing up all over the stage.

The flashy costumes probably threw them for a bit though, and since the dances were all under a minute they probably never got past the initial shock.

Despite earlier misgivings, we beat the Hearts in futsal 7-4. We drew 3-3 in football though. We were losing 3-0 in the first half, then we switched players around. Azfar played for the Hearts in the second half. He conceded all six goals!

This is King's Park by night. The most wonderful place in the world if you go at the right time with the right people.

My last hour in Perth was spent frantically doing sketches for the Hearts.

This picture was taken minutes before the crying began. It was a happy time. Thank you all so much.

I Pity The Fool

Didn't think I'd be doing any real blogging soon, but I thought this was something everyone needs to know.

Mr. T gets a reality show called I Pity The Fool.

Very little is known about the show, set to launch in October, apart from the fact that it will feature Mr. T "traveling the country and giving advice as only Mr. T can". Sounds kinda like a cross between Oprah and Dog, the Bounty Hunter.

Remember Dog?


Dog: We're just about to enter the residence of a known drug dealer. Be prepared for anything.

Dog kicks down a fence. On the other side is a man tending to his garden, a golden retriever resting at his feet.

Man: What the-?

Dog sprays the dog with a pepper spray can the size of a small child. He then grabs the man and slams him against the fence.
Dog: Against the wall, dirtbag!

According to Wikipedia, Dog has actually captured over six thousand law breakers. That's a lot of pepper spray.

On an unrelated note, I'm now Interact Publicity Director. The First. Ever. Publicity Director. Which means I'm helping to plan the Interact Installation, as held on the 1st of September. One day ahead of the Fource of '06 Social Night, if it actually goes down.

Thomas: Listen, about this installation. I don't care how you do it, but you are going to come up with the best damn installation the school has ever seen. I want fireworks, flying people and angels.

So all we need is flying angels on fire and I guess we're set. Congratulations to the new President.

[20:07:58] [dignia]: let me tell you how the vote went
[20:08:14] [dignia]: sheryl won the first vote, 36 to 33
[20:08:44] [dignia] then zabedah noticed that the total votes didnt match the number of people in the room
[20:09:03] [dignia]: and jing hang won the next vote 35 to 34
[20:09:19] [dignia]: but the votes still didnt tally
[20:09:34] [dignia]: so the decision was given to the old board, who voted sheryl in
[20:09:30] [dignia]: but some people protested the decision
[20:09:47] [dignia]: finally they gave the decision to the new board
[20:09:55] [dignia]: and jing hang became president
[20:10:00] Demon Bound: lol
[20:12:08] Demon Bound: Talk about screwed up democracy

Today I grabbed the president's ass. It is also the old president's birthday.

Look! Star Wars game for PS3! The thought is unbelieveably scrumptious.

Right now I am more excited about this than any other game in production. Except maybe FFXIII. A female main character in Final Fantasy? That's just hot. I saw some FFXII CG playing at Speedy Video at 1U on Wednesday. I don't really like it. Reminds me too much of FFIX.

Finally: Gao Gai Gar is probably the best show about a guy who's a cyborg who merges with a lion who's a robot to form a bigger robot to merge with a bullet train, a stealthc bomber, and an inexplicable drill tank to form the ultimate biggerest robot there is.

• Transformers: Galaxy Force (Transformers: Cybertron in the US) contains many visual references to GaoGaiGar's stock "Final Fusion" and "Hammer Connect" sequences, most notably in the sequences where Liger Jack (Leo Breaker) and Sonic Bomber (Wing Saber) "Link Up" with Galaxy Convoy (Optimus Prime).
• The stock "Final Fusion" sequence is extremely iconic of the show, making it worthy of a great many fan parodies (though reaction to these parodies by other fans is greatly mixed). One recent fan-parody video (by the group ~Mad eXpress~) intersperses soundtrack and footage of the Impulse Gundam combination sequence from Gundam SEED Destiny with that of GaoFighGar's Final Fusion sequence from GaoGaiGar FINAL.

Yep. Fusion on, cowboy.

Kanaganayagi

It's not the best in terms of quality. But it gets the point across and teaches a valuable lesson about life and chemistry.


I might have decided to say a few words about today's government diagnostic test, but since just about everyone my age in the whole country took it, I don't think that's really necessary. Suffice to say that as soon as the papers were opened, I led the class in laughing for a full five minutes before we actually started on the questions.

Mdm Selva's real name is Kanaganayagi. I can't remember how it came up, but we were singing happy birthday to Arnold. Yknow, Sheng Yap. Arnold Shengyapnegger. By we I mean me and Sanjay.

Selva: My real name actually is not Selva Vishnu. That's my husband's name.
Sheryl: Really? So what does the C in your name stand for?
Jun Ian: Chandran?
Sanjay: ...
Selva: No la... I took the name when I got married... the C is from his grandfather la, dunno why he wanted it there also. Selva actually is some kind of god.
Lee Zhien: ...Shiva.
Mahadi: So what's a Vishnu?
Jun Ian: Come on la...
Sanjay: So what's your real name madam?
Selva: Tell you later.
Sanjay: Happy Birthday to you...

Some people join in. At the third line Sanjay waves his hands for a pause, so that the name is not sung.

Sanjay: Happy Birthday to youuuuu...
Selva: Okay la, I'll write it here on the board.
Jun Ian: ...kanaga...na..yagi?
Selva: Kanaganayagi. For some reason the Japanese find it very easy to pronounce.

Mdm Selva explains her family tree. They have names much like hers.

Selva: And this is my grandfather Kakanagina. And my other cousin...
Jun Ian: So madam you're related to Kaka?

The lesson ended with a rousing chorus of happy birthday Kanaganayagi.

I actually didn't want to talk about the Great Frog Massacre of WMS but I ahve some interesting convo logs.

[19:54:14] [dignia]: oh we dissected a frog today
[19:54:17] hey peeps: oh haha...
[19:54:21] hey peeps: cool man..
[19:54:25] [dignia]: it was sad
[19:54:36] hey peeps: did u get a male or female??
[19:55:13] hey peeps: when i dissected mine, i found out that the
frog had a missing testicle...
[19:55:18] [dignia]: wtf
[19:55:28] [dignia]: lol
[19:56:52] hey peeps: i noe... i threw every organ out and could
not find the other testicle..
[19:57:16] hey peeps: my friends frog only had one lung
[19:57:49] hey peeps: weird crap that session of class.

Yes. Disturbing.

[19:05:34] sane saint: we had like 20 minutes to dissect them
[19:05:44] sane saint: but the way ze shen and jen did theirs.....
[19:05:49] sane saint: it was bloody inhuman
[19:06:07] [dignia]: I could have guessed
[19:06:09] [dignia]: tell me more
[19:06:17] sane saint: orite
[19:06:33] sane saint: ermm
[19:07:00] sane saint: well, jen ming and ze shen (lets call them jz)
got to the heart
[19:07:12] sane saint: they took out all the organs
[19:07:33] sane saint: the lungs, the heart, the gall bladder, u name
it
[19:07:41] sane saint: so the frog was an empty carcass
[19:07:52] sane saint: then zs pull open the skin
[19:08:07] sane saint: leaving the frog not to have the dignity of
being covered
[19:08:27] sane saint: and then they were like massaging the head and
kept pulling the tongue to see how far it cud go
[19:08:40] sane saint: so it was downright gruesome
[19:08:49] sane saint: oh and u noe the first frog we cut open?
[19:08:58] [dignia] inh: the big one?
[19:09:01] sane saint: the giant 8-10 packs one
[19:09:03] sane saint: yeah
[19:09:26] sane saint: li anne and carmen found interesting things abt
it
[19:09:40] sane saint: which i will not expnd on it now cuz i dun feel
too good
[19:09:54] sane saint: all i can think abt are frogs and how we
dissected them

R.I.P. my amphibian friends.

Who Can Stop The March Of The Penguins?

So, as it turned out, the Taliban stopped the march of the penguins. Or you might wanna call them the Bantalis. As censorship requires.

Penguins: Lee Zhien, John Lim, Jeck Beng
Talibans: Reuben, Sundeep and Deepaq

It was a real killer of a match though. For all of the first half, the Taliban played with two men. Sundeep had gotten a seven-minute ban. Shockingly, they took the lead and kept pushing til it was 3-0. Then the Penguins fought back to make it 3-3. And finally, the ball flew over Lee Zhien and Deepaq tapped it in to end the game at 4-3. Simply heartbreaking.

Jun Ian: If only he'd been a bit taller...
Mahadi: That's what I keep telling him. "Lee Zhien, get taller". Guy never listens.

The posters I printed for the Interact Club on Friday. By Saturday morning, three out of five were gone. Well, that can only be a good thing right? Shows that my work is appreciated.

I also did one for the third place match. Ian Wong takes on JLo. The way JLo plays, you'd think he'd have shattered every bone in his body before the fourteen minutes of the match were up.

Imagine the skeletons. Crushed pelvis and all.

"What happened to these people?"
"They were condemned to die by snu-snu!"
"Yay! Snu-snu!"

snu-snu (noun)
Endless sex forced on a man by a variety of women usually resulting in the death of the man. From Futurama episode in which the main characters are condemned to "Death by Snu-snu!" by a alien matriarchal society, ignorant of the earthling male's view of this as a most fitting death.

Stop! No more! The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised!

"The Amazonians will be divided into three groups. The one called Zapp will be snu-snued by the large women. He that is designated Fry will be snu-snued by the petite women. And Kif, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snued by the most beautiful women of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again."

Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really, really hoped.

Space

There are some more things for you to look at today (since response was good yesterday). First, a picture of a planet being sort of penetrated by a giant roasting laser.

Demon Bound: World of warcraft says:
It's like earth is being roasted by a heat ray
Demon Bound: World of warcraft says:
but whats with your obssesion with beams?
[δignia] new artwork says:
heh
Demon Bound: World of warcraft says:
Is this some phallic obssesion
[δignia] new artwork says:
the focus is the planet
Demon Bound: World of warcraft says:
oh so now it's an obsession with gonads eh?

Next up we have the same planet... being toasted by a solar flare. Poor planet.

Finally the solar flare is displayed in all its exploding-Death-Star-esque glory. All three pictures today were made using similar techniques. They are also all in 1024 x 768 in case you want pretty pictures for your desktop. Also, the solar flare/cloud can be made into many X-traordinary shapes. Like V or A or X.

Something that happened today:

Kevin and Lib Yin play a game involving the slapping of hands. The game seems designed for individuals with prevailing machismo issues and the sole object seems to be laying the hurt on your opponent.

Lib Yin: *miss*
Kevin: *gentle touch*
Lib Yin: *SMACK*
Kevin: You're not supposed to do that... after I get you it's game and you can't hit me back.
Lib Yin: Kay, sorry.
Kevin: It's your turn.
Lib Yin: *miss*
Kevin: *gentle touch*
Lib Yin: *SMACK*
Kevin: Again! Guys, check this out!

Yow Hwui, Jason, Mahadi, Jun Ian and Azfar gather round.

Lib Yin: I won't do it again!
Kevin: Prove it. *gentle touch*
Lib Yin: *miss*
Kevin: *gentle touch*
Lib Yin: *SMACK*
Kevin: See there! No impulse control!
Lib Yin: Sorry! It's just a thing where if someone hits me I have to hit them back!
Kevin: Well let's see if you can control it then.
Lib Yin: *smack*
Kevin: *miss*
Lib Yin: *miss*
Kevin: *smack*
Lib Yin: *draws back fist* GRR!
Kevin: Ahn!
Yow Hwui: See! At first her hand like this and then now like this. So violent la Lib Yin.

Yow Hwui opens and closes a fist to demonstrate.

Mahadi: Look at her she's biting her teeth. Better watch out next time she punch you already.
Jun Ian: Next time you smack her, she'll kick you in the jewels. Or maybe headbutt.
Lib Yin: It's a relfex action!
Azfar: Lib Yin can become damn good keeper then.
Jason: After the ball goes in she saves.
Jun Ian: Nah. After the ball goes in she punches the striker.

Lifestream?

Something I tried out today. It turned out well so look forward to more effects like that in future comics. It looks kinda like the lifestream for Final Fantasy VII. I did it with the twin magics of photoshop and the internet. I plan to blog stuff like this more often now that I have Photoshop 7.1. Click for the high-def version.


Also: Go Grease-X! If you ever saw the Summer Nights-X dance, you would die laughing. I almost did.

Problem Loading Page

Eliot: You can't have my graphics card, I need mine.
Clarissa: I have a graphics card!
Amani: Do you even know what a graphics card is?
Clarissa: It's a card... that has graphics on it.

I am not returning to competitive blogging. This is more of a knee-jerk reaction to an inspiring... thing that Lisha said.

[δignia] here comes tomorrow says: I have nothing to say
perfect hell says: then dont say anything.doi!
[δignia] here comes tomorrow says: there wouldnt be anything to blog then!
[δignia] here comes tomorrow says: or maybe there is
perfect hell says: good point.

perfect hell says: u can blog about how theres nothing to blog if u dont say anything.

perfect hell says: okay.doesnt make sense..nvm nvm.

Maybe it doesn't. But it's not like I don't have other things to do. Like the slideshow.

The Interact Club of Wesley Methodist School Presents:

Thanks to "Penguin" Yoong Jie for help with the text. You have to agree it looks nifty. Doesn't it look nifty everyone?

Look. I even did some Wishworld.


With, yknow, MS Paint. Well it's not THAT bad. Tell me if you like it. I can make more.

Norhayati: Jamaliah! Berapa murid dah kita bunuh tahun ni?
Jamaliah: Lima!

Haslina starts to strut.

Haslina: Lima! Lima!

No offense meant by omitting the honorary madam, but it really doesn't look good in print. Point aside, it's the internet. The full account of the above matter can be found at the blog formerly known as Zillion Thoughts, Ruffneck. I seem to have set off a trend when I changed my blog name.

Jun Ian: Yeah, I think Kevin's back.
Kenji: Oh SHIT! I still haven't gotten his letter of merit that his mom asked me to pick up two months ago!

I don't know why. That was the funniest thing I heard all week. Including that discussion I had with Kenji about crushing cans with the stomach.

Uh... that's all for now.

Bling!

Rantings recently hit five thousand visitors. Congratulations, Rantings.

Now, the big cheese Peako says this is nothing to celebrate. But he didn't hit three milestones all at once.

Fifty posts, two thousands visitors and maybe like five hundred comments. I haven't been counting since like three hundred fifty. Yeah, I don't think I'll be celebrating either.

A name change is in order. Skull Pandamonium is now [δignia]. Why a name change? Well, it's kind of like when Telekom Malaysia changed their name to TM. A name change is more than cosmetic in nature. It shows the unwashed masses (yourselves) that the winds of change are blowing. Winds that (for once) do not smell like the interior of a WoW player's room.


Yes. that picture is like my trademark. Do you even know how much money they spent on that name change?

In the meantime I have no Photoshop so there will not be any fancy pictures or anything of the sort. Instead enjoy some old Slug In Fez comics.

Slug In Fez 01
Slug In Fez 02
Slug In Fez 03
Slug In Fez 04
Slug In Fez 05
Slug In Fez 06

Man the quality of these is just so bad. They are kind of funny though. In a retro-2005 kind of way. But there will be some good stuff when I get Photoshop going. Like the tantalizing promise of a new Wishworld.

I finally got mine. Guitar Hero, I mean. Awesome songs. Killer Queen, Stellar, Infected, Iron Man, Ziggy Stardust and all that. Not that I can play the guitar any better now, but I can guess what it's like. The first day I got it I was up all night cause the pain in my arm wouldn't go away.

Seriously it sucks to not have any colorful pictures in a post. It sucks.

So... colorful pictures from Jeffrey Rowland's Overcompensating. How do I know Mr. Rowland won't sue for this? Well he is currently caught up in big Dumbrella/Dayfree battle. See:

The theatre for the final battle between Dumbrella and Dayfree Press has been set, but we have them outnumbered. Here's how it breaks down.

Team Dumbrella
Mr Jon Rosenberg
Dr Vampire
The Englishman
The Poopmonster
Me

Team Dayfree
Kyle McNinja
Notorious JEPH and Nature Boy North (The Twin Towers)
The Albino Samurai
Double D

Mal, Hope, and Kean will ostensibly be acting as mercenaries.

Okay so maybe we don't have them outnumbered, plus they're a lot smarter and bigger than us. But who needs courage or skill or even a good reason when you have a gun?

- taken from Jeffrey Rowland's Overcompensating

See, they don't really have the Dayfree guys outnumbered. Dr. McNinja and A Lesson Is Learned each have two guys to make an artist-writer team. So in fact, the Dayfree guys outnumber them. Uh oh Jeffrey!

If and only if you know as much about these few webcomics as I do will you be excited at the prospect of a battle royale between Dayfree and Dumbrella. Funny how the chairman of Dayfree is absent from the proceedings though. (The chairman of Dayfree is Mr. Logan.)

More when I get Photoshop. Or Flash. It might be time to start using Flash.

MIA

Post 49: Expect to wait awhile before 50 comes up. It did, after all take two days of work to get this up.

Okay, the text on screen appears several seconds after I type it, my software's been outed to Microsoft as illegal, I'm running programs I didn't know about, overzealous malay websites about going to hell appear in My Documents for no apparent reason and refuse to leave, several icons appeared on my desktop that I didn't know about, three new applications installed themselves yesterday, QuickTime is open but nothing's playing and I can't close it, Adult Friend Finder has somehow dominated my Firefox, critical system errors greet me at every turn, and my iPod beeped at me.

You know you're in trouble when your iPod beeps at you.

I mean, how does it do that? iPods don't even have speakers. I suspect it's beginning to gain sentience. Apart from its inexplicable 'you watch what I say you can watch' attitude, the battery bar is no indication to how much power the iPod actually has. It just displays a reading as high or as low as it likes. And it gained the ability to beep at will.

Anyway, while I was supposed to post some happy things and a couple of artworks, these may have to wait since I am in no mood to use Photoshop with all the things that are going on right now. It's just gonna be so lagged.

So I'm releasing the angel picture prematurely. Looking at it, I know at the moment it represents the creme-de-la-creme of my public portfolio, but I already know I can do better.

What I need is better bloody scans. The kind without a million rough edges that have to be either cropped manually or ignored. If ignored it will become an ungainly bold edge in some parts of the picture.

Anyone know how to sorta feather the lines using Photoshop? Or might it be time for me to go with Flash?

http://www.komala.org/

You might have seen it in the Star yesterday morning. Komala just got elected as president of MIC Wanita. Contribulations, Komala. You make us both proud and uneasy.

komala!

Speaking of the Star, Screw you Star! At least warn us that you're going to totally wreck the plot of the OC before you do it! You might have noticed that yesterday's Star Two section carried a picture of Marissa Cooper. There was an article about the finale of the OC's Season 3, something I do not want to spoil before I watch it. Unfortunately, I didn't even have a chance to save myself, cause the major spoiler was in the very first line.

Highlight only if you really wanna know. I'm giving you a choice. The Star never gave me one.

Marissa Cooper dies in the season three finale.

See, those of you who saw that know why it's the kind of thing you don't want to hear about one of your two favorite shows before you actually watch the damn episode. For those of you who didn't, here's a picture of Mischa Barton/Marissa Cooper:

Who can forget that it's always summer in the OC?

X3. The reviews said there wasn't enough time for character development. With forty years of Marvel history already behind the X-Men, who needs character development?

The movie was a showcase for some awesome displays of mutant power. I think it also shows how far our local censorship board has come

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the unstoppable Juggernaut, bitch!"

Click it. It links to an old X-Men cartoon with that line.


In any case, I won't be doing any serious Wishworld for awhile, mainly cause my computer can't handle the Photoshop anymore. Don't matter, there'll always be pretty stuff to look at here.

This might sound a bit PeakSheng-ish (or the complete opposite) but in all my years as a card-carrying Malaysian citizen, the one thing that ever made me feel any sort of patriotic pride is this:

Johor Disneyland?

Now that would be awesome.

Hardcore xXx

Mahadi, stop using my blog to push Islam.

Where I come from, we have an expression:

"A watched Photoshop never loads."

This is not because of superstition or shit like that, but because no one is stupid enough to stare at the monitor for five minutes while CS2 lags and loads.

Keeping that thought in mind, X3 tribute comic:

All your base are belong to us
Barbie Horse Adventures receives gamers award
Chocolate chip cookie chokes president
Disney builds daring new attraction called Brokeback Thunder Mountain
E3 comittee reveals that LACC actually ancient indian burial ground
Final Fantasy 13 contains all dead characters from Kingdom Hearts series
Gay bloggers celebrate Groundhog Day in Germany
Horny House build home for local hobos
Internet explorer kills child in Iceland
Jessica Alba, secret diaries of
Kid Rock joins Korn
Lara Croft crafts sandwich with Kraft
Miss Universe sighted smoking marijuana
Nsync signs up for NASA astronaut program
Oprah Winfrey to be executed in season finale
Prince of Persia in Playboy magazine
Quotes from President Bush reveal secret messages when played backwards
Ricky Martin joins ramadan in Russia
Stephens Hawkins and King stars in Sports Illustrated feature for Summer Olympics
Taratino to film Kill Bill 6 in July
UFOs spotted in Malaysia on 123456 day
V for Valentine receives Academy Award
World War III slated to begin in November
Xena warrior princess to join cast of X-men
Yahoo says just use yellow pages
Zelda Wind Waker 3 to release in Q3 2007

Got your attention?

The very next next post will be my 50th post. The Examination diaries continue below.

Such coordination hints at a hive mind of sorts. More evidence follows...

That's right, the five-month anniversary of my blog, and the two-month anniversary of my sitemeter. I sometimes think I should have started the sitemeter earlier, it's kinda missing three months worth of visitors.

The following event (which I shall dub the Boon Clone Saga) took place at about 1.00am - 2.30am one Saturday morning. Notice how one of the Boonguans is actually Brian.

Don't matter. In another 250 hits as of press time, I will also be celebrating 2000 visitors. How shall we celebrate? With the posting of the angel picture, several comics and the end of the mid-terms.

2000 visitors is 1000 a month since April Fool's Day. Which incidentially is my new birthday. That's right, don't bother to wish me on the 2nd anymore. I am now officially one day older!

See, Leong seems to have coaxed Brian over to his side, by means fair or foul. Boong stands alone.

Maybe it will also be the day my blog passes the 500 comment mark? Actually, that mark might have already been passed, since the last time I counted it was 350 something and that was a month ago. Anyway, comments are more important than visitors to a blog. Comments show that the post inspired commenting. If people read it but don't get thought-provoked, what's the point?

The enigmatic Boon, it seems, has won his enemies over.

500 comments is 100 a month since New Year's Day. If you look at it from that perspective, that really is not a lot. Something has to be done about that.

Anyway, 250 hits will take 7 more days at my current average. I have decided that this is not enough, so I have deployed a new method to reach and surpass that faithful silver shot before June.

The saga ends and life returns to normal. Pretty much.

Yes. Buzzwords. No I am not being cheap. This is actually pretty important research and I will tell you the results when I'm done. For the record, my daily average is 35. We shall see if those numbers spike.

Look, writing buzzwords takes work.

The examination diaries part two. General Science versus Pure Science.

In the Red Corner, General Science.

Oh, you guys study ice-cream now? What's next, the chemical composition of a fried twinkie? I have to get in on this GS shit.

Cripes!

I think you chew food in your ass.

Or the baby maybe develops in the freakin vagina!

Refer to children's encyclopedia for this one.

What's next, periodic table color-by-numbers?

In the Blue Corner, the Trinity of Pure Science, Biology, Physics and Chemistry.

Do you feel that? That is the feeling of real chemistry as it punches you in the gut.

This isn't even a hard question. It just looks complicated.

Remember the GS question about digestion, and weep.

Why am I doing this again?

I dunno, it's not funny anymore.

I have a couple of surprise announcements for the next post. Yknow, post 49.

The Examination Diaries

You have no idea how much good stuff is about to fill this space. What I have for you over the weekend and after the exams is totally solid. Great for de-stressing. Check back for jokes and all-round exam humor.

The first update is down. There will be another. Hint: It is about the wonders of general science. If anyone asks what army science was a general of they will be shot.

The examination diaries. Not my best work, but my most colorful. Check out Wai Khuin's bandana, Aaron's lightning ball, Eliot's hair and Michael's fire pheonix. Good stuff.

Oh hey, me and Mark might be doing a joint project. A single piece or maybe a miniseries. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, I promised you tales from the examination diaries, didn't I? Have a look at some of the Q&A I did this term (I can't show you the original papers, since they're with the teachers but this should give you a good idea):

Biology
Question: Explain how more beef cattle is produced through process X.
Answer: Certain cows are fed apples and wine from birth. These cows receive massages and listen to fine music. This makes for a specially tender kind of beef called Kobe Beef. Kobe Beef is soft like tofu. Thus is is very expensive.

The question actually called for an explanation on cloning. But tissue culture aside I know nothing about the subject.

Moral
Question: Memberikan definisi nilai korban untuk negara.
Answer: Chuck Norris tidak boleh korban untuk negara. Namun, beberapa negara telah korban untuk Chuck Norris.

I really wrote it, I swear.

Question: Apakah sejenis kitar semula yang lain?
Answer: Kitar semula ahli keluarga.

Sejarah
Question: Apakah nama masjid kedua yang dibina oleh nabi?
Answer: Taj Mahal.

In case you couldn't guess, I didn't study.

Question: Apakah masjid X dalam petikan?
Answer: Masjid Jamek.

Question: Apakah strategi hijrah nabi yang bijaksana?
Answer: Mereka berhijrah pada waktu malam.

Essay Question: Huraikan kecapaian tokoh-tokoh yang disenaraikan.
Answer: Alexander the Great merupakan seorang jeneral dari tamadun Yunani. Beliau mempunyai kuda. Beliau telah melawan gajah. Beliau suka lelaki. Beliau telah menakluki banyak negara. Oleh itulah Alexander dapat panggilan 'the Great'.
Asoka juga merupakan jeneral dari tamadun India. Namun, Asoka tidak tercapai seperti Alexander. Oleh itu, dia tidak dipanggil 'Asoka the Great'.

Writing these I was shaking so hard Sarah Tan came over, patted my head and told me not to stress over it.

The period of Malaysian examinations are not really a good time for bloggers. The number of hits per day has dropped like a stone.

Yesterday night I stayed up so late. I was studying, see. And to keep my head above the table I brought a cup of sugar into my room. I managed to stay awake until 2.30, when the sugar ran out. But before I fell asleep, a bright flash of light not unlike the one that brought the doppelganger (see 123456 day post for details) appeared outside my window. I went to the window and there was an angel. I took a picture of it and it seemed to get pissed. Unfortunately, I don't speak angel. The picture of the angel will be posted this weekened.

I watched Grease on Saturday night. So did Sanjay. Dexter watched it on Tuesday and Kenji watched it on Friday. A lot of people I went with said it wasn't that good, but screw them. It was hilarious. There was a song about mooning, tons of making out, crazy innuendo and Greased Lighting! *KRA-KOOM!* The character interaction was just fun to watch. And the dancing was good. Lots of pelvic thrusting and groping.

The Wrap

E3 is almost over. I need it to be over. Any more teasers and I could break down and cry.

Come on! I heard they even have skateboarding ramp over at the Activision booth, to promote the new Tony Hawk!

How could you not love a game like this?

The individual styles of Grand Theft Auto, Prince of Persia, Oblivion, Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter and Hitman all rolled into one. Too much awesomeness for one game to contain? Ubisoft begs to differ.

Now let's talk. About the massive injustices of E3.

Look! Children! E3 is supposed to be a strictly above-18 event! THANKS ALOT, YOU SECURITY ASSHOLES. Now I'm sitting here at home while some six year old douchebags who don't even know what country Ubisoft is in get to play around in the LACC, which I have never been within a pandaren's wang of. Yes. That's how far I am from E3, while those snot-nosed punks get their diapers soiled watching Dexter and the Powerpuff Girls.

If I ever meet you down a dark alley, I'll roundhouse kick you so hard you'll die and come back to life!

The Microsoft Bus! It turns into a house. Unfortunately, it never made the cut for the Transformers.

Check out the inner sanctum of the Microsoft employees. One of them is using a Powerbook. Oh, he is so screwed when this gets out. Variation on an old Penny Arcade comic:

Mac: You're bruised, Mike.
Mike: It's... it's nothing.
Mac: Has he been hitting you again?
Mike: No! It's not like that. He just... doesn't know his own strength.
Mac: We've talked about this, Mike. You can put an end to this -
Mike: Oh my god, it's Microsoft! He's home! You gotta get out of here, he'll kill us both if he sees you with me! Get out of here, Mac, go!
Mac: I'm going. We're both going. Together.

One more reason to go to E3. I mean!

This one pretty much speaks for itself. Especially considering the above picture.

And what's Mario got to do with these kids and their extracurricular biology experiments?

Paris Hilton at E3? That's just the right amount of... whatever it is.

The final word on the Wii and the Pii is out. Pii and Wii. Imagine that.

Assassin's Creed, Crysis, Mass Effects, Heavenly Sword... these I need, like mercy from heaven's gate.

All right. I promise not to talk about E3 anymore.

Except I have to tell you about these.

Dead or Alive Xtreme

Was it inevitable that Tecmo would release a sequel (of sorts) to Xtreme Beach Volleyball? Probably. Now saying that games like these are tailor-made for people like Dass and Waikit might be somewhat lacking in something, but they did spend an entire night playing it.

Wai Khuin, your chance to finally find out what Dead or Alive really is.

As for myself, as a part of my solemn pledge to exploit all that is E3, and in the true spirit of truly selfless self-sacrifice, I downloaded the trailer.

This might seem like a "I took a calorie bullet for you by eating all your chocolate" kind of thing, but let me assure you that I undertook my duty of leering at every exposed breast and soaked garment in the utmost of seriousness. Seriously. To demonstrate my steadfast dedication to writing a review that would be accurate, I watched the trailer again. And again. Like fifty times.

The sum of its parts can be summed up in one sentence: scantily clad ladies do battle in various lighthearted water sports. (No I'm not going to tell you what they are! Watch the damn trailer!) It's not all fun and games, though. The production values won it the Worst Soft Porn Feature Ever award.

Jackass the Game

Unbelieveable? Believe it. I'm not sure I want to waste words on this one. Let me just give you the word from the fine people over at IGN:

You'll recognize a lot of the stunts from the show. San Fran Trash Can has you inside a garbage can, rolling down a hill at full speed trying to pull off jumps (rolling off car trailers) and stunts (including rolling underneath truck trailers) while trying not to get slaughtered by cars or smacked up on buildings or road signs. Another similar one was Downhill Shopping Cart Run, where you ride in one and try to smack each other in the face while riding the stolen carts down the hill. There are also sequences like Bus Surfing, Grenade Golf, 4th of July (this should hurt your gonads, we're thinking), Extreme Unicycling, and something called Big Balls.

Right. Well, next time Liwen and I get together with our crew to shoot some videos, we'll keep that in mind.

Another 50 Cent Game.

OH-GAWD.

This is for Dexter, and any other chocolate loving freaks out there:

Masters of Horror: Chocolate

"Jamie (Henry Thomas), a newly divorced young man who creates artificial flavors for the food industry, suddenly and inexplicably starts to experience brief and random flashes from someone - and somewhere - unknown: sight, sound, smell, touch. Learning that he's experiencing life through the senses of a mysterious woman, he begins to fall in love with her - without having met her. Eventually, he discovers a horrifying secret that binds him inexorably with the perfect woman in an erotic, horrifying dance of death."

Anyway, Teacher's day is coming up! If you're short on ideas for what to get for your teachers, here are some great pointers:

Alamin -
Jason: Let's buy him a motorcycle helmet. I don't mind paying extra for Alamin.
Sanjay: No, get him a shaver!
Jun Ian: Have you seen the way his robe fans out behind him when he rides his motorbike?

Chin -
Jason: A barometer!
Sanjay: No, let's get him a disco ball!
Jason: Yeah! I can just imagine him swinging it seventies style!
Jun Ian: Holding the barometer in his hand and you can see the mercury levels going like up and down!

Doraemon -
Jun Ian: Platform shoes.
Mahadi: Yeah.

Dorothy -
Jason: False teeth.
Mahadi: New pair of dark glasses.

Haslina -
Jun Ian: Buy her Burger King!
Jason: No, get her something chemistry...
Sanjay: A laminated periodical table!
Mahadi: A plastic or glass something, and then in the corner you write the chemical formula for whatever it is.

Maheran -
Mahadi: Malay to English dictionary.
Jun Ian: Malay to English dictionary.
Yow Hwui: Malay to English dictionary.

Selva -
Sanjay: McDonalds.
Jun Ian: Make sure you buy it on Sunday, then.
Mahadi: You could get a cheeseburger for...
Jason: 39 cents! At McDonalds, baby!

Last but not least, more words of wisdom from everyone's favorite half-Chinese half-Malay science student with specs and whose name starts with an A and contains no I:

No, Azfar. Only you.