The Examination Diaries

You have no idea how much good stuff is about to fill this space. What I have for you over the weekend and after the exams is totally solid. Great for de-stressing. Check back for jokes and all-round exam humor.

The first update is down. There will be another. Hint: It is about the wonders of general science. If anyone asks what army science was a general of they will be shot.

The examination diaries. Not my best work, but my most colorful. Check out Wai Khuin's bandana, Aaron's lightning ball, Eliot's hair and Michael's fire pheonix. Good stuff.

Oh hey, me and Mark might be doing a joint project. A single piece or maybe a miniseries. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, I promised you tales from the examination diaries, didn't I? Have a look at some of the Q&A I did this term (I can't show you the original papers, since they're with the teachers but this should give you a good idea):

Biology
Question: Explain how more beef cattle is produced through process X.
Answer: Certain cows are fed apples and wine from birth. These cows receive massages and listen to fine music. This makes for a specially tender kind of beef called Kobe Beef. Kobe Beef is soft like tofu. Thus is is very expensive.

The question actually called for an explanation on cloning. But tissue culture aside I know nothing about the subject.

Moral
Question: Memberikan definisi nilai korban untuk negara.
Answer: Chuck Norris tidak boleh korban untuk negara. Namun, beberapa negara telah korban untuk Chuck Norris.

I really wrote it, I swear.

Question: Apakah sejenis kitar semula yang lain?
Answer: Kitar semula ahli keluarga.

Sejarah
Question: Apakah nama masjid kedua yang dibina oleh nabi?
Answer: Taj Mahal.

In case you couldn't guess, I didn't study.

Question: Apakah masjid X dalam petikan?
Answer: Masjid Jamek.

Question: Apakah strategi hijrah nabi yang bijaksana?
Answer: Mereka berhijrah pada waktu malam.

Essay Question: Huraikan kecapaian tokoh-tokoh yang disenaraikan.
Answer: Alexander the Great merupakan seorang jeneral dari tamadun Yunani. Beliau mempunyai kuda. Beliau telah melawan gajah. Beliau suka lelaki. Beliau telah menakluki banyak negara. Oleh itulah Alexander dapat panggilan 'the Great'.
Asoka juga merupakan jeneral dari tamadun India. Namun, Asoka tidak tercapai seperti Alexander. Oleh itu, dia tidak dipanggil 'Asoka the Great'.

Writing these I was shaking so hard Sarah Tan came over, patted my head and told me not to stress over it.

The period of Malaysian examinations are not really a good time for bloggers. The number of hits per day has dropped like a stone.

Yesterday night I stayed up so late. I was studying, see. And to keep my head above the table I brought a cup of sugar into my room. I managed to stay awake until 2.30, when the sugar ran out. But before I fell asleep, a bright flash of light not unlike the one that brought the doppelganger (see 123456 day post for details) appeared outside my window. I went to the window and there was an angel. I took a picture of it and it seemed to get pissed. Unfortunately, I don't speak angel. The picture of the angel will be posted this weekened.

I watched Grease on Saturday night. So did Sanjay. Dexter watched it on Tuesday and Kenji watched it on Friday. A lot of people I went with said it wasn't that good, but screw them. It was hilarious. There was a song about mooning, tons of making out, crazy innuendo and Greased Lighting! *KRA-KOOM!* The character interaction was just fun to watch. And the dancing was good. Lots of pelvic thrusting and groping.