From Prom

The video of our dance that night, filmed by the inimitable Jay-son. Yes, fries with that would be much appreciated. Hmmm?

Anyway, you can tell from the video we didn't get to practice that much... a lot of things didn't happen as planned - we never thought that we'd actually be performing on the dance floor - but overall being out there dancing in front of all our friends felt really good, something the video (as always) falls short of conveying.

Yes, there was an abundance of... manwhoring. But that's what you like, isn't it? That's right, I'm looking at you.

The prom slideshow. Looks terrible in low quality. Pictures provided by Peako, Mahadi, Sha, Michelle, Rachel, Sanjay, Suat, Yee Eng, Farrah and... Facebook.

Plenty of good things that never made it in though. Time constraints, you know. I'd already lost one whole night of sleep to it.

More... later?

And It Never Quits

Yeah, my exams are over.

I think I did pretty well, thanks for asking.

See, all the maths, science and english papers were jokes so even though I didn't really study, if I don't get an A1 I'll be blaming the marker. Yeah it was that easy.

But no, I don't think I'll be blogging too much this month cause I'm really, really busy. For the first time in my life I have an event calendar. Maybe I'll photograph that for you guys later.

Well I don't care if you're not interested.

By the way, there is spam in my sexbox.

But I'm going to let you all in on a little secret: these guys are wasting their time. An inactive blog doesn't get too many visitors, so who do you think your advertising's gonna reach?

Also, being out of school's not as bad as I'd thought.

And to those of you unfortunate enough to be left behind in Wesley...

Suckers!

Probably blog some next year. But who knows? Anything might happen, so if you're really interested you can check back whenever... once a week should be fine.

The Intermission

Some of the people in this picture are acting up.

Today is that last day of school.

Not technically true, since we're all coming back next Friday, and school doesn't even end til the sixteenth, so we've got those five days. But they dropped this bombshell on us so suddenly it feels like it really is the end.

The last day of school and we're trapped in double Biology, just cause Gina is relentless. I saw Sanjay and Wai Khuin run past our class, through the window in the door. It's pure torture, being chained to these desks while the other classes are flying wild, desperately taking in all the sights they'll never see again, and burning those images into precious memory or celluloid. Could it be some form of karmic retribution for my skipping all of Wednesday? If it is, the punishment is harsh.

Today is the last day of school.

I have no more classes to skip, only service and the farewell later. I wouldn't even be here but for the fact that I already missed this and she almost caught me for it. The lie I told to get out of it won't hold up twice. At least I've got a Mars Bar to make the waiting marginally more bearable... thanks Grace.

There's the bell.

- written at 9:20 AM during Biology in 5W, 26/10/07

I guess it's obvious we're not that good at group pictures.

It's been two weeks since I posted the Learning Seasons. The next one's coming... whenever. I plan to finish the series up before the start of the SPM. Which seems a lot more likely now that we've got all this free time.

Supposed to be study time, though. So I feel guilty even writing this. I've been taking way too many breaks, especially if I mean to be serious about nailing all twelve of my As.

! 22/10/07 - Monday

Made plans for Sha's birthday. I proposed a turtle.

We bought the turtle in the basement of the PWTC mall. We're not exactly sure what species it is (I forgot to ask at the time) but it bears a resemblance to the Indian Star Tortoise, which I found on Wikipedia.

"Raising these animals in captivity is extremely difficult and should be left to those with advanced tortoise experience. They are very finicky eaters and gain weight extremely slowly. Hatchlings would rather sleep than eat and most succumb in the first months of life. A typical hatchling in the United States costs about $500 from a reputable dealer and you should be prepared to lose this investment if you do not have significant experience with tortoises."

I don't know, it sure looks like one. But I bought Sha's turtle for seventy bucks, and everything I've heard about the species so far (from sources that are not Wikipedia) seems to contradict the above paragraph.

For one thing, Eugene's brother has a similar-looking turtle which, although mostly neglected by the family, has survived on - and I quote - "green beans, newspaper and poop" and grown to a size that requires both hands to illustrate in the process.

Grace's aunt has a pair of these creatures - enthusiastically described as hardy - which she allows to roam her garden like so many hounds. Every week, a head of lettuce is left outside for the turtles, almost like an offering, and by the end of the week it will be consumed.

Angeline's cousin has a variant that eats nothing but pink Lux soap.

Apparently it developed the taste after being allowed to forage through the house on a leash, and now refuses to sample any other food they try to tempt it with, to the point where it even turns up its snout at Lux soap of other colors, for example yellow.

Deciding on a name for Sha's turtle proved to be a challenge of unexpected difficulty. A variety of names were suggested and we filled four post-its with our handwriting. In the end, we shortlisted a few (dozen) possibilities, as seen in the picture below.

Yeah, I carry that much stuff to all my classes. So what?

On the list:

• Inspire
• Typo
• Jahil
  
• Linguini
  
• Lilsha
• Annoy
• Kiss
• Maths
  
• Babysit
• Stick It To
• Sexyback
• Respect
• Conan
  
• Apocalypse
• Multiply
• Ferrari
  
• Terminate
• Benefit
• Spank
• Emancipate
• Satisfy
• Demoralize
• Delight

Most of these names, as you may have noticed, are not nouns but verbs. This makes sense when you add the suffix 'the turtle' to each. Example! Stick It To The Turtle, Satisfy The Turtle, Spank The Turtle and so on are all such great names.

Jahil is on the list because Sha likes Sejarah; Linguini is on the list because she likes the big-nosed punk from Ratatouille; Ferrari because Eugene proudly declared the turtle would be "powered by shell"; Conan, Apocalypse and Terminate because Li Wen was obsessed with getting a cute turtle with a badass name.

! 23/10/07 - Tuesday

Sha's birthday. I think we actually surprised her with the present.

Sha's turtle lived up to all expectations of being a fighter, poking its nose into every corner of our classroom and devouring the leaves I brought up from the canteen (Jimmy gave them away for free) within the day, all of which were several times his size.

As for the name, well, in the end we couldn't decide and gave it one name for each day of the week. The idea was that eventually Sha would stick with the one she liked best, and forget all the others. Or else she would learn to use all the names and that was fine too.

• Monday - Inspire
• Tuesday - Typo
• Wednesday - Multiply
• Thursday - Maths
• Friday - Kiss
• Saturday - Emancipate
• Sunday - Delight

I slept for nine hours that night. It was an accident. I fell asleep on the floor at nine after trying to do my homework, and I woke up at one in the morning all confused and disoriented but there was nothing for it but to go back to sleep until six, when I got up for school.

! 24/10/07 - Wednesday

This was a pretty cool day. Guess how many classes I didn't skip?

One.

You heard me right. I skipped the whole day. Doing this wasn't actually as difficult as it might sound, but it was pretty fun. See, I kept a timetable of my activities.

• 8.00 - 5K (spent homeroom here cause like eleven people from my class came that day)
• 8.30 - lecture hall (inadvertently sat in for the 5M/C ceramah here cause Yow Hwui didn't know where exactly we were going)
• 9.30 - 3M (played chess with Wai Khuin after we found an abandoned set on one of the tables, ended up losing by one piece)
• 10.00 - 5P (free english, Wen Juin produced Maltesers)
• 10.40 - Break
• 11.00 - 5M (free add maths)
• 11.10 - 5L (free BM)
• 11.20 - corridors (watched volleyball with miscellaneous Form Fives)
• 11. 40 - above ping-pong court (watched Form One football with Wai Khuin, Nathan, Nick, Serene, Wei Li)
• 12.20 - above ping-pong court (watched Form One football with Anish and Jayson)
• 12.40 - 5K (free sejarah)
• 1. 00 - football court (played football with Wai Khuin, Dass, Nathan, Adi, Nick)
• 1.20 - office (sent to Matthews for playing football in uniform during lunch)
• 1.40 - 5M (free english, played football in class)
• 2.10 - 5W (free moral, let out by Selva)
• 2.20 - corridors (watched volleyball with miscellaneous Form Fives)
• 2.30 - 5W (add maths, the one class I didn't skip)

You see? It was my most fulfilling day at school in months. I can't even remember exactly everything that happened, but I think it was Wednesday when Aza tried to trap me behind a door. Why do these things keep happening to me every time I go to 5L?

Last time it was the broken doorknob at the back of the class.

! 25/10/07 - Thursday

I didn't skip too many classes today. But I placed bets on volleyball with James and Tze Kang. Thanks to Zhou Wei's efforts I won a dollar from James and nine from Tze Kang.

! 26/10/07 - Friday

The first thing they did on Friday was tell us we'd have study leave for two weeks, making it essentially the last day of school. Which was a shock, to say the least.

Another thing that happened. Mrs Matthews made us laugh.

Matthews: And he told me, the Japanese make the best condoms in the world.
Tze Kang: That's what my host family told me.
Matthews: I think you're hardly an expert on the subject matter.
Jun Ian: She actually said something funny.
Brian: There's a first time for everything.
Jun Ian: Too bad it's almost the last day of school.

So what if she mispronounced condoms? It's still a pretty monumental achievement. Remember the last time when she felt obliged to explain what whiskey was?

No, I don't mean that.

About the school leaver's service. Esther's persistence eventually won out and I agreed to say a few words about my experiences with the school's CF. Which I'd always found rather ironic, since I'm Buddhist.

In any case, I didn't really think about what I was going to say, but inspiration struck.

...And as for religion, or spirituality in general, I think it's important for all of us to find some form of Grace in our lives. Obviously it wouldn't be the same for everyone, but regardless of our beliefs we all need balance, and for me that's what Grace means. It was here in this school where I found Grace, and that's been crucial to my life ever since...

The look on everyone's face was priceless.

That's it for now. Our next post will be about what it actually feels like to be living out your last days of high school in the way the school's making us do.

It didn't all begin this way, but this is how it ends.

The Learning Seasons, Part 3

It's been... ten whole days since my last post.

This is because despite the inordinate amount of holidays we've been having lately, it really is the learning seasons for me.

I'm sure there are things I could blog about, but I'm constantly uninspired at the keys.

All I seem to be doing these days is playing the saxophone and listening to Ian and Joey make music.

Yeah, these are also the musical seasons.

Click to embiggen.

Did I hear someone say embiggen isn't a word? It is totally a word.

I plan to update this post sometime. But for now, it exists solely to bring you this comic.

The Learning Seasons, Part 2

I have a couple of announcements to make.

First, to the con artist formerly known as Sushi: we need to talk.

I don't know whether or not you'll actually read this but I think chances are pretty good.

Secondly, to Alex: thank you. It works like a charm.

Alex solved my MSN problem. Well, he didn't so much solve it as provide a way to circumvent its dark purpose. But after almost a month of eBuddy, I'll take what I can get. His solution?

A newer version of the classic seven-point-old.

If you somehow find yourself facing my old adversary, you may find proper armaments by clicking the above link.

Assuming you didn't already figure that one out.

End announcements.

This one's for Heroes fanboys and girls (I know you're out there):

Adrian Pasdar's YouTube account!

In the past few months, Adrian Pasdar, who plays the role of Nathan Petrelli (the congressman-turned-hobo who can also fly), has been posting videos on YouTube under the name buckshotwon. His videos are all taken behind the scenes, and some of them are pretty... well, all of them are pretty. Whatever else they are, you should check out for yourself.

His videos are usually accompanied by classy effects and soundtracks, and I am totally jealous. Click to see the gallery.

If you're still not convinced, here's a clip in which Sendhil Ramamurthy (I spelt that from memory, if you can believe it) contemplates an apple. Yes, it is as exciting as it sounds. Click to watch.

I just like this one because of Zachary Quinto and Kirsten Bell. Zach is Sylar, and Kirsten is Veronica Mars. Her role on Heroes has yet to be revealed, but we think it's coming soon.

By the way, Ricky's sister, the girl who Peter saved from the Irish gangs in the last episode is named Caitlin. Wicked huh?

Well, against all odds I actually finished a second page of my new short series... The Learning Seasons. Why is it called that?

Whoever comes up with the best original reason why my series is called the Learning Seasons... gets a special mystery prize! Special! Mystery!

Ahem.

Click to check out the larger version.

Now if you read that and you're wondering why the characters have such bad dialogue, it's because they're children.

Facebook's getting pretty popular these days. Well, all I'll say is that it does a pretty good job of making you feel wanted. And it looks so much better (tidier) than Friendster.

If Friendster was the Xanga of social networking, Facebook is the Blogger.

Addictive.

There's always something going on. If you logged on every two hours you would find a whole bunch of requests and notifications that require gratification. I mean, look at it! Top friend requests! Sex appeal invitations!

I know it's just clever marketing but it's almost irresistible.

Would love to write more but I'm a bit try on materials somehow. Maybe next time I'll let you all in on my most amazing, vivid, technicolour dreams about Halloween and the Great Escape.

PS: Skies! Photographs!

These snaps will be accompanied by no explanations.

If you know why they are there, you don't need me to tell you.

If you don't know why they are there, I won't be telling you. Hint: they are pretty.

The Learning Seasons

Okay the full version has been posted. This is page one of... many. Hopefully.

Click to check out the larger version.

We continue to endorse the following statements.

In the meantime, study! Work on your own projects! Or spend some time watching Blogger Play. You might get pictures of babies, a gallery of delicious skies, a collection of individually shrink-wrapped grapes or a series of naked men in repose.

Who knows? I have experienced them all.

Operating Malfunctions

We can't go online.

That's MSN error 81000378.

This afternoon, Microsoft finally pulled support on 7.0 and I was forced to update to Windows Live, which... has never... worked... on this computer.

It's just one error message after another. First, I encountered my old enemy, error code 80048820. Way back whenever I tried to use Live, it's always been 80048820 I just couldn't get past. This time, it was accompanied by extended code 80048439, which I assume to be a sort of second form in my boss fight against the internet.

I tried a few fixes, and suddenly I ran up error code 81000378. I'm not entirely sure whether this is a step forward or backwards; but the search results for 81000378 seem to suggest it has no reliable solution.

So I was stuck.

Well, there's always eBuddy I guess.

It looks good too. Pretty interface.

Anyone else got this problem?

At The Stroke Of Midnight

I initially planned for this post to celebrate both our nation's 50th year of independence and this blog's 100th post but it looks like that's no longer possible.

Why?

Because that would take way too long, and I feel like posting something now.

How is it that I can go for weeks without writing a thing when everyone's poking and nudging me about it, and at the same time decide to stay up late and blog when people are telling me to forget it and concentrate on studies?

I'm a rebel without a clue.

When just about every other sane person decided to sleep in on Merdeka, I woke up early and headed down to the Dataran to catch the parade. Well, it was really Li Wen's idea.

His reasoning? Well, that fact is most of us have probably never seen the parade up close our entire lives (and never will). I know my parents haven't. And since it was our 50th Merdeka - surviving the half century mark is meant to be an achievement of significance - he decided that it was now or never.

This made sense to me.

But I would have slept through it if Li Wen didn't call at 6.30 am.

Anyway!

On to the parade. I took like two hundred pictures while I was there. Some of these are displayed below, with commentary.

We arrived at around 7.30. By this time, the stands were packed almost to capacity, but we still managed to get some really good positions, almost directly opposite the grandstand.

Yeah. The government provided monkey bars.

I was the first one to go up, and I stayed there until we left. You could see practically anything, it was just a question of how far up you were willing to climb.

This guy here? Doesn't look that high up, does he? But he was camped on the bar above my head (you can see it in the previous picture). The entire structure was actually more than two storeys tall but no one was fool enough to climb that high.

At the parade, we met AZA and Miss Leong. Apparently, they came for the celebrations the night before, and didn't go home. They spent the night in McDonald's, open 24 hours a day.

I think I might try that some day. Sounds crazy enough to work.

Here's Peako, looking at a poster reproduction of an old Berita Harian.

And here's Li Wen from my point of view. Doesn't he look like an orphan?

About the festivities... well, some of it was kinda like Hari Patriotisme, with the singing of patriotic songs and pembacaan ikrar. But Hari Patriotisme on steroids. The guy they got to recite the ikrar sounded like he could have given King Leonidas a run for his money. I kept expecting him to suddenly whip out a keris and scream MALAM INI KITA BERSANTAP DI NERAKA or something.

Didn't happen, though.

The parade itself was pretty good, I guess. There were lots of groups I didn't really care about. Some secondary schools sent marching bands. I think this one is from Catholic High School. Could be mistaken about that.

Check out their uniforms! Kinda like that dance from concert. I think it was... Texas?

I wasn't really paying attention to these guys, until I noticed they were holding up replicas of Malaysian coins and stuff. I think they're bank employees.

Jun Ian: Fifty cents!
Li Wen: What where?
Jun Ian: There!
Li Wen: I thought you meant the rapper!

Yeah right. Just try imagine 50 Cent hanging around the Dataran.

Hell, why imagine? There he is.

Look closely dammit.

There were plenty of floats, but this one caught my eye. It was releasing bubbles.

Looks like a scene out of a love story, doesn't it? See... boy meets girl, girl meets boy. They fall in love, but they're at a parade and the girl is on a float.

You should know these guys from your textbooks. They're the survivors of Force 136, a volunteer army who fought the against Japanese during the occupation. And there are like seven of them left. They're like superheroes.

They trotted out lots of war machinery at the parade. These ordinary look trucks were probably... missile trucks.

More military stuff. Kept me thinking about National Service.

The planes were awesome. There was this one jet that flew skywards, then killed its engines and dropped like a stone right above our heads. Before it hit the ground, it fired up again and zoomed off. You don't see that kind of thing much out of the movies.

Transformer babies aside, there were dogs at the parade. I guess the four major races in Malaysia are Malay, Chinese, Indian and Dog.

Horses too. Well I don't really know what to say about them... they were well behaved and didn't poop on the roads?

Later that day, I went to watch the fireworks with my cousins. We got a pretty good spot, wasn't too crowded or anything.

To pass the time, I played some saxophone for everyone within earshot. This instrument is just awesome.

Still waiting for fireworks to start. There's no point to this picture being here, but I like it a lot.

I hope you appreciate how hard it is to get good pictures of fireworks, especially if you're a novice with a shaky hand.

When we went again on Sunday, we got stuck in traffic trying to leave for two hours, but that's another story.

All in all it was a pretty good Merdeka.

Did it succeed in making me patriotic? Well... yeah, kinda. A lot of people think being patriotic's kinda like making a commitment to the country, and they don't wanna do that when the country in question is less than perfect.

Well I've got news for you, my friends. So is everything else.

I'm not going to tell you that this is about as good as it gets, cause I seriously doubt that. But it's still pretty good. Ignore the fact that the government will make sure the bumiputera will screw you over in just about every deal you can imagine business-wise. Disregard for a minute how our entire education system is screaming for change from the top down. Forget everything you know about Malaysian time, Malaysian traffic, manners, efficiency, censorship and all that.

Then step back and take a deep breath. Looks good, doesn't it?

No? Well, I love piracy okay. I love how you can just walk out to the stores and pick up a new movie for five bucks. Slightly more these days, but that's just inflation for you. Or how you can drive down to Petaling Street and get a new rolex or a pair of superstars without having to crack the bank open. This is very important to people like me who never have any money. And the jerseys in that stall outside KL Sentral are almost indistinguishable from the originals.

I also love corruption. I don't think I have to explain this. Here's a bit of wisdom I got from a taxi driver three years ago, when I was fourteen.

Taxi Driver: In this country you can do anything if you have money la. If you have money you can even fuck the King's wife.

And there were five of us in that cab and we were all looking at each other like (o_O) he did not just say that. But it's true. Many of the things we take for granted wouldn't have been possible without bribes!

I love our malls. Who doesn't? We have so many! And I heard from my cousin Joo Lee, that on the eve of the Merdeka celebrations a whole section of 1 Utama blacked out for half an hour. People started stealing things. How awesome is that? Imagine what you could do if you were in a mall plunged into total darkness for thirty whole minutes. If only I'd been there, I'd have a PS3 sitting in my den, three iPods in my pocket, new threads and five different perfumes on all the time.

How does one make a mall black out?

I love our food. I'm sure you love our food. Everyone loves our food.

Even our weather is edible.

Well this has been a great patriotic essay, but I'm starting to feel really guilty about neglecting my homework for so long. So I'm off to do that.

My next post, this blog's 101st, will be some time in coming (I got trials). Doesn't mean you should stop visiting though.

Jun Ian loves Malaysia. And hell, it's about time.

Don't Panic

Jason: I'm sleeping in my parents room, cause my cousin's visiting from Canada and he's sleeping in my room with his girlfriend.
Jun Ian: Your cousin's getting it on in your bed!
Jason: Actually, he brought over another friend too. She's sleeping in the guest room.
Jun Ian: Tell me Jason, do you hear...animals sounds in the middle of the night? Does it sound like your cousin and the two girls are praying loudly in the next room, or maybe agreeing with each other a lot?

True story.

Jason's cousin is a PIMP, a man with the kind of night life every guy burns to have.

In other news, form ones are... making news. Not the good kind of news, but at least they're not making babies like last year's form ones.

Ancient history, that.

On to current issues, then. First up, Mrs Matthew's lawsuit.

Some of you might have heard that Mrs Matthews slapped a form one boy.

Some of you might have heard that the boy's parents are trying to sue her for it.

Your information is half correct.

Mrs Matthews definitely slapped Brian Thomas Silva for... well, details are vague but we believe he screamed out loud that he 'fucking hates Matthews' and was overheard and hauled to the office.

Not very clever of him, is it? While we might all feel the way he did from time to time, the difference is that we keep those feelings of resentment buried deep inside us, venting them in the company of friends or all over the internet in our blogs.

I think... I sound like a fag.

The point is, even if they had sued, chances are they wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. I certainly don't like our dear principal - I think she's an old-fashioned tart who takes forever to say nothing - but she was definitely within her rights to slap him that day.

I asked Pardeep (who apparently knows this degenerate) to find out if they were really suing her, and if they were, on what terms. Turns out they aren't.

Bummer. Even if they lost, it still would have been interesting.

Myth dispelled!

Exhibit B is Nicholas Gerard Kang.

They all have such interesting names. When I saw the Gerard I was like OMG thats like two famous guys (Gerard Butler and Steven Gerrard) but it turns out he's nothing like them.

Can't even toss a spear or kick a ball.

Looks like he has other talents, though.

Nicholas: Hey Sanjay, you wanna buy some porn?
Sanjay: What? Uh, no thanks.
Nicholas: How about a vibrator then? 75% off!

I don't even want to know where he would get his hands on such a thing. But Sanjay says he thinks the kid's not joking about the porn... I'm not sure if that's disturbing or what.

Last but not least, the WESLEY GOES GREENALL campaign is doing well.

If I did this for Sanjay last year, the theme would probably be BLACK IS BACK or something.

Today, I made a bunch of flags, and we waved them in the hall, while the Chinese guy was going on about what an idiot Zakaria was.

Now the rest of this post is going to be about National Service.

Again.

Shocking to see so many cots laid out at the admin building, two lines strung across and IV drips hanging from them. People lying bundled up in the green blankets, feet propped up on the cushions from the pink sofa set. They were - well - lying down and pretty much motionless. Some couldn't even move and had to be propped up and hand-fed. Many were out cold and wouldn't wake up.

The administration is trying to keep the whole thing hush-hush by reminding us of the "no talking to outsiders or members of the press about what's going on" rule, and also disconnecting the phones.

- operating instructions

That was an extract from the blog of an NS Trainee in the first intake. Doesn't reflect too well on the integrity of the camp administration, does it?

Well, don't let that scare you too badly, especially if you've actually been selected for the program... there are far worse stories to be found. However, the extent to which you allow these stories to affect your decision to defer or to go is completely up to you.

Well, the information on all these sites haven't been updated since 2004 and doubtless, the camp program has changed, most likely for the better. But if you're interested to find out about how to survive life as a trainee - or avoid it - you could do worse than to give the following sites a try.

operating instructions - The owner of this blog (known only as Kim) was a trainee in the first intake of National Service way back in 2004. Despite only having internet access in the third month of training, she managed to write almost daily entries that reveal much about the program, the camps and the instructors.

Although the experience described in these pages can best be described as 'hellish', reading through it is far from that, extensive though her accounts are. Take this story for example:

Other stories from Vera - some girls were caught fighting the other day. It started with just two people, who both happened to be, respectively, a karate black belt and a taekwondo black belt. "The sparring was very cantik one," said Vera. The room was turned upside down, water sprayed all over (from water bottles), chairs upturned, clothes thrown all over.

The fight soon expanded to seven against one, and the one girl somehow hid in the ceiling rafters above her room. The seven searched for her, and when they left, she quickly scurried down, ran down two flights of stairs, got spotted by the seven, and jumped from the first floor to the ground. Ran to the faci's room, tailed by the seven. And all eight got caught.

- operating instructions

Reads almost like the script of an action movie, doesn't it? I mean, I really like what she's written. Noble efforts indeed. Working tirelessly to bring the next generation an insider's account of camp... well when I go for NS next year, I'm bringing a notebook.

You know, to write blogs in.

PanGlobal Insurance - If you find it ominous that I'm linking you to the website of an insurance company in preparation for National Service, you'd be half right. Nothing I've said so far concerns deferment or exemption, does it? Well this website will explain how to do just that... it even has the deferment form ready for you, as well as some outdated information about campsites and stuff.

I'm not going to include any excerpts from this web, you can go and read it yourself if you want to.

Dinyahloreng - I have no idea what the name means, but this is a really useful page about what to bring, what to expect (yeah, just see above) and stuff. Eugene found me this site.

Here's an item aptly named How To Survive The Evil Jungle Forces.

Your trainers will teach you this, but it’s interesting enough to tell you in advance. When in the jungle at night, you SHOULD NOT call people by their name. Aiyah, you want to know why, go and ask your trainer yourself. Anyway, so you are lined up in single file and given numbers … like the person at the front, usually the leader is called D1 for example and the last person is D22. At points, you will stop and have a roll call to check if everyone is there, from D1 to D22. Just don’t be smart and call out an extra D23... You don’t want to cause panic in the middle of the jungle at night, trust me hysterical people are NOT a pretty sight.

- Diyahloreng

There's also this one crazy story about true love in NS, which I will not post here because I find it completely retarded, but you can go check it out.

And finally... one of the most disturbing things I've heard about National Service so far.

On Monday night, by the way, one of the things the soldiers yelled at us was the fact that 12 girls in Kolej D are pregnant, di manakah kehormatan kamu semua?! Hah? Kamu tak malu ke?

I was shocked to hear this, but Vera next to me simply raised her eyebrows and remarked, "You mean you don't know?"

I knew one girl was pregnant, but I didn't know about the other 11.

"So some people here are parents - together?" I spluttered. Vera confirmed this with a nod of her head. I felt like someone had just hit me on the head with a volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- operating instructions

That's all for now.

Tomorrow I'm going to run off to the Dataran Merdeka at the crack of dawn, so... stay tuned for that.

The Sweet Escape

This took me about six hours from start to finish. Including pencils, inks, some reworking of the lines, colors and gloss.

Click to see a higher quality picture. Seriously, trust me on this and click it.

Here it is again with lights, since I can't decide which version I like best. Same as before, the bigger picture is way better so... click it.

That's out of the way.

And now, here's the post!

Dear Gwen Stefani,

I love you. Love you love you love you love you love you.

Yeah...

I've never gone crazy over celebrities. To me they've always been so far away they were practically in a different world.

And it's always struck me as odd how some people could invest so much energy into getting all worked up over things that were never going to affect their lives.

Today I touched Gwen Stefani.

Despite all the objections about her interacting with the crowd, and all the restrictions they forced on us to make sure we couldn't get too close, I managed to suspend myself between a bit of railing and someone else's seat to reach out and touch her arm, and then the top of her head. The girl next to me looked scandalized and was like, "Don't touch her!"

I resisted the urge to just vault over the railing. Even if I had made a dash for it and found myself face to face with Gwen Stefani, I would have had no idea what to say or do. Get down on one knee and ask her to prom?

Don't give me that look.

Anyway, I'm a fan now. Never been a fan of anyone before, and never thought the first would be Gwen Stefani, but there you are.

Thanks Brian for the tickets, he says my luck is just unbelievable.

First he found free tickets in his father's files, and I got to go with him... the first concert I've ever been to. For real. Then we found out the seats were kinda far from the stage, and we wanted to sneak off and find somewhere closer. In the end we didn't, and thank God for that, cause Gwen Stefani ended up performing right in front of where we were standing. And to top it off... yeah, I was the lucky one. Brian couldn't reach her, and the girls who got the seats up front, nearer to the stage, never came close.

Thanks to the usher guarding the stairs to the lower seats, for that classic moment.

Jun Ian: Hey, can we go in and use the bathroom?
Usher: Which one?
Jun Ian: I dunno... the male one?
Brian: What the FUCK?

Last but not least (no DUH) thanks to Gwen Stefani. Rock!

In Matters Of Interest

Dexter: Why are no two male sperm ducts the same?
Jun Ian: Why?
Dexter: Because of the vas deferens.

When I tried to pull this one on Azfar, he just screamed "VAS DEFERENS!" and then started griping loudly about how three people had already told him that joke. Then he wondered if he was responsible for the rising number of awful jokes floating around lately.

I wonder.

Azfar: What do you call it when I put my hands together like this?
Peako: What?
Azfar: Diameter! See? Radius and... radius!

If you don't know anything about Biology you probably wouldn't have gotten the last two, so to speak. However, appreciation of the following transcripts requires no such... specialization.

Jason: Are you tripping... tripping on pins?
Azfar: No, cause I got thumbtacks.

Crutches, Azfar. Crutches.

Azfar: What do you call waves in the black sea?
Jun Ian: Does this have something to do with Ribena?
Azfar: Black current!

He's made it into a sort of vendetta. Whenever Azfar opens his mouth these days, people just run.

Azfar: What do you call a Transformer's quest?
Jun Ian: If you say transmission I will end you.

But I got him back... sort of.

Jun Ian: What do Nathan and a boy wizard have in common?
Azfar: What?
Jun Ian: They're both Harry.

On a happier note, MTV's long search for its next rock star is now over. After Guan Xiong's live performance in Valencia a couple of weeks back, lesser artists everywhere are laying down their instruments to weep.

I'm proud to say I was there... though I was out of the room at the time and didn't witness the event firsthand.

Click to watch.

We predict runaway success.

Mdm Moses: So where are you all having your prom this year?

The class exchanges furtive looks.

Lisha: Er.... nowhere, madam.
Lih Fern: We're not having... a prom.
Jun Ian: What's a prom?

You know, that prom.

Oops.

I think we're not allowed to have prom. Like it's illegal or something. Well, no surprise there. The school doesn't encourage socialization anyway.

Mrs Matthews: Students in the lower secondary should not have upper secondary friends.

She really did say that... really.

Now I'm going to share a little bit about my mass communications talk last Career's Day. I've been meaning to do so for about a week, but the National Service mess took precedence.

Our speaker, Alfred, showed up about half an hour late, with a backpack, glasses and a ponytail. He was sweating.

Jun Ian: Guy looks like he ran here!
Daniel: No, he looks like he rock climbed here!

Lessons in Mass Communications #1

If you're an actor, success obviously is measured by how famous you become, but *COUGH*that*COUGH*is never*COUGH*going to*COUGH*happen*COUGH*in this country*COUGH*

Lessons in Mass Communications #2

My PC Gamer editor has the best job in the world. He plays World of Warcraft.
No, scratch that. My T3 editor has the best job in the world. See, it's a lifestyle magazine, so he gets to call up all these companies like BMW and Mercedes and ask for cars, and he calls modeling agencies for women to take pictures with the cars... I hate him.

Lessons in Mass Communications #3

So we having this exam, right. And at the beginning the examiner says to us, "Okay, you need to do whatever it takes to pass this exam. Now I'm going to go out for a while."
And we're just sitting there clueless, and we continue to do our exam like normal.
After some time he comes back in and says, "No look, I don't think I made myself clear enough. You need to do. Whatever. It. Takes. To pass this exam. Now I'm going to step out again."
This time, as soon as he's out of the room we all whip out our books and start copying like crazy.
Then suddenly, the door opens and this tutor walks in. Everyone freezes as we stare at him and he stares at us. Then he goes very slowly, "I'm not your invigilator..." and just turns around and walks back out.

He was a really interesting guy, funny and an engaging speaker. But his talk didn't do much to get us interested in mass communications. He painted a very realistic picture of the local industry - it sucks - and he never tried to hide that from us.

I guess overseas it is.