In Matters Of Interest

Dexter: Why are no two male sperm ducts the same?
Jun Ian: Why?
Dexter: Because of the vas deferens.

When I tried to pull this one on Azfar, he just screamed "VAS DEFERENS!" and then started griping loudly about how three people had already told him that joke. Then he wondered if he was responsible for the rising number of awful jokes floating around lately.

I wonder.

Azfar: What do you call it when I put my hands together like this?
Peako: What?
Azfar: Diameter! See? Radius and... radius!

If you don't know anything about Biology you probably wouldn't have gotten the last two, so to speak. However, appreciation of the following transcripts requires no such... specialization.

Jason: Are you tripping... tripping on pins?
Azfar: No, cause I got thumbtacks.

Crutches, Azfar. Crutches.

Azfar: What do you call waves in the black sea?
Jun Ian: Does this have something to do with Ribena?
Azfar: Black current!

He's made it into a sort of vendetta. Whenever Azfar opens his mouth these days, people just run.

Azfar: What do you call a Transformer's quest?
Jun Ian: If you say transmission I will end you.

But I got him back... sort of.

Jun Ian: What do Nathan and a boy wizard have in common?
Azfar: What?
Jun Ian: They're both Harry.

On a happier note, MTV's long search for its next rock star is now over. After Guan Xiong's live performance in Valencia a couple of weeks back, lesser artists everywhere are laying down their instruments to weep.

I'm proud to say I was there... though I was out of the room at the time and didn't witness the event firsthand.

Click to watch.

We predict runaway success.

Mdm Moses: So where are you all having your prom this year?

The class exchanges furtive looks.

Lisha: Er.... nowhere, madam.
Lih Fern: We're not having... a prom.
Jun Ian: What's a prom?

You know, that prom.

Oops.

I think we're not allowed to have prom. Like it's illegal or something. Well, no surprise there. The school doesn't encourage socialization anyway.

Mrs Matthews: Students in the lower secondary should not have upper secondary friends.

She really did say that... really.

Now I'm going to share a little bit about my mass communications talk last Career's Day. I've been meaning to do so for about a week, but the National Service mess took precedence.

Our speaker, Alfred, showed up about half an hour late, with a backpack, glasses and a ponytail. He was sweating.

Jun Ian: Guy looks like he ran here!
Daniel: No, he looks like he rock climbed here!

Lessons in Mass Communications #1

If you're an actor, success obviously is measured by how famous you become, but *COUGH*that*COUGH*is never*COUGH*going to*COUGH*happen*COUGH*in this country*COUGH*

Lessons in Mass Communications #2

My PC Gamer editor has the best job in the world. He plays World of Warcraft.
No, scratch that. My T3 editor has the best job in the world. See, it's a lifestyle magazine, so he gets to call up all these companies like BMW and Mercedes and ask for cars, and he calls modeling agencies for women to take pictures with the cars... I hate him.

Lessons in Mass Communications #3

So we having this exam, right. And at the beginning the examiner says to us, "Okay, you need to do whatever it takes to pass this exam. Now I'm going to go out for a while."
And we're just sitting there clueless, and we continue to do our exam like normal.
After some time he comes back in and says, "No look, I don't think I made myself clear enough. You need to do. Whatever. It. Takes. To pass this exam. Now I'm going to step out again."
This time, as soon as he's out of the room we all whip out our books and start copying like crazy.
Then suddenly, the door opens and this tutor walks in. Everyone freezes as we stare at him and he stares at us. Then he goes very slowly, "I'm not your invigilator..." and just turns around and walks back out.

He was a really interesting guy, funny and an engaging speaker. But his talk didn't do much to get us interested in mass communications. He painted a very realistic picture of the local industry - it sucks - and he never tried to hide that from us.

I guess overseas it is.

Keep Their Candles Burning

Matthews: Banyak orang ada anjing, kucing, burung...
Brian: Harimau...
Liwen: Babi.

I didn't blog much about things during my last post. Lots of things happened in the past week or two, during the holidays and in school. Some of these things deserve telling.

One such thing happened today.

We were playing football, as is our custom on Thursdays. The ball was a slick looking Adidas model that Wai Khuin brought. About five minutes into the second game, Adi kicked the ball over the wall (rhymes!) into the Methodist Boys School next door.

One of two things usually happens when the ball goes over the fence.

1. Someone in MBS throws it back.
2. One of us has to go get it.

So this occurence, while annoying common some days, has only ever resulted in a slight delay in the game.

Today, there were a few guys on the other side of the wall, so we shouted to them to help us retrieve it. Some of them ran off to search in the bushes, and I started thinking about what a funny thing it would be if they just decided to keep it.

Then a funny thing happened.

An indian boy in a black shirt found the ball and ran over. Instead of throwing the ball to us, he started kicking it around. Then when someone shouted at him he tucked it under his arm and ran into the school.

We stood stunned for a few moments.

Then Dass dashed off towards the school, followed by Adi, Nathan, Hari, Pardeep, Azfar, Daniel and a few other guys. I went with them, kinda hoping there would be a fight of some sort that I could participate in, or at least witness. Mr Siva tagged behind us, trying in vain to turn us back.

Daniel: Check out the size of this stick! We could really beat in some heads!
Adi: Put the stick down, Daniel.

We ran through the school. It was the first time I had ever been in MBS. Everything was so different. The school looked very old, and all the linked fences, open classrooms, worn tables and big metal signboards had a certain charm to them. The kind of charm you might find in say, a prison. But a homely sort of prison.

On the gate was a bright red sign:

Syabas! Kerana Anda Tiba Ke Sekolah.

Translated, that means, congratulations for making it to school!

Stellar. Why doesn't anyone congratulate me for coming to school?

There was another sign in the courtyard:

COUNTDOWN

[___] Days To PMR
[___] Days To SPM

Thankfully, both had been left blank.

Anyway, a quick tour through the school later, we found Dass, standing by the front gate with a security guard and a few students. As it turned out, they saw a boy with a ball under his arm sprint out of school a few minutes earlier. No one stopped him. That was the crazy thing. He just stole a ball, ran out of school and went home without even being questioned.

Defeated, we returned to our school. The MBS told us they'd try to get him when he came for school tomorrow, but for now we were out of a ball. So we split up and some of us went to play volleyball.

Lots of people probably saw us at it, since school was just over and we played like tools. If you get a chance, watch Jason play volleyball. It is a joy and an enlightenment.

Quick Lessons In Bio #1

Punitha: And next to the medulla oblongata are the pons, which control visceral functions like breathing.
Jen Ming: Are there brain ducks in the pons?

Quick Lessons In Bio #2

Punitha: This part is the cerebellum. It controls your body balance and if it gets it hard you can get knocked out.
Jing Hang: So it's like... the balls of the brain?

One more thing... registration for the Interact Club's 30 Hour Famine opens tomorrow.

I don't have to tell you to join up as soon as you can.

Our theme this year is PS the children, which stands for protect and save the children. A common mistake is thinking it means please save the children.

Jing Hang: What is the theme of our famine this year? Form fours!
Eugene: Please save the children.
Jing Hang: Are you sure?
Eugene: Yes.
Jing Hang: Very sure?
Eugene: Yes.
Jing Hang: Do you want to save the children?
Eugene: Yes...
Jing Hang: How are you going to save them?

Why do we have to save the children anyway? Well, simply put, children are the future of the world.

Save the children, save the world.

I know. We are huge fcuking lamers.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't give your all to save the children.

Help them keep their candles burning.