The High Life

There are two notes of interest I would like to bring to your attention before we begin.

The first is this: high jumpers of Wesley Methodist School, please be informed that Lee Ju Hann is your God. He is a man not taller than myself, but he broke the 153 on his way to becoming the form four gold medalist. And did I mention he's in green house too?

This is Ju Hann. Well not really.

And the second: from what I've seen of them so far the form four dancers are really good. They were having concert auditions today and I watched them for a real long time cause it was hard to look away. The girls are pretty good, I noticed Ain, Carmen and Sandra, but the star of the show has to be Deepaq.

The guy mixes his indian moves with hip hop steps that make a solid if not unbeatable combination. From what I saw, looks like he's been watching You Got Served alot too. I recognized at least three sets from the movie.

I'm really nervous about how good they are since I don't wanna be in anything less than the best dance during this year's concert.

I can imagine how last year's form fives felt when the best dance wasn't by the form fives but the form fours and I would hate to have to go through that.

When I say that I mean this.

Last year when Keangston made his end of year speech he mentioned his experience in "the best dance in the concert" and I was like no Keangston you weren't in Grease... then it turns out he was talking about America and I was like yeah right get real man but I didn't say anything cause he was leaving school and everyone knew he was wrong anyway.

I don't want to say I'm in the best dance we've got unless that's really true.

We haven't got Brian, Sanjay or Jon and now that Brian's watched Stomp The Yard he's on fire with ideas for his African dance. And it's gonna be tough to one up him cause that movie was seriously good.

Screaming, hollering and awesomeness.

If we're the third best dance this concert I'm going to jump off a bridge.

Well not really.

That's all I had to say about stuff right now.

---

So you step back and breathe in. You loosen up, you stretch and you bounce a few times to make sure everyone knows it's you they should be watching.

And you feel their eyes on you as you're given the all clear and you run towards the bar, slowly for effect, and you feel their eyes on you, and you're starting to get a little nervous.

But as you draw nearer, the pressure evaporates, along with the crowd, and all that matters is you and the bar. Your mind frees itself of distractions as the bar looms ahead, and you speed up, already smiling because you've done it before and your body automatically knows what to do.

And your legs lift and you soar through the air.

The launch is perfect. The whole world slows down around you as you ascend, and your back arcs up and your head falls back.

For a moment, you're vaguely aware of the crowd again as their excitement reaches its peak. They're waiting to see if you pass, and you smile at their uncertainty.

In your mind, it's already done. And the truth is it was over long ago, the truth is it was over as soon as you made the decision to jump. All that remains is to clear the bar. And you do. Bright lights flash in your mind as every image burns a snapshot into your memory to savor over and over again.

Then you land intact, your back to the mat, and the crowd roars. The song of their applause and their cheers reach every fibre of your being. And your heart soars, flying even higher than you did just seconds ago. Then you rise, head held high and arms outstretched, savoring every moment. The moment lifts you on high as you run back to the starting point. You feel like their praise could give you wings.

They're still cheering.

It feels even better than being on stage. All those times you were an entertainer, but this time you're a hero.

The bar is raised. The others don't do so well but you're still brimming with confidence. You've cleared this height before and the audience has you pumped.

Your turn comes and you do everything the same, your mind working to remember all the steps and all the angles. But the bar draws closer and something's definitely wrong. But there's nothing you can do about it so you try anyway.

The launch is... less than perfect. The world slows down again but it doesn't last very long. You clear the bar but some part of you strikes it and it falls, and the crowd's disappointment is obvious. You shake your head slowly as you get up. It was close. You've cleared this height before. You can do it again.

So you try again. This time you scrape past the bar and for a moment you think you've made it, and so does the watching crowd. Then the bar shakes and falls, and you've got one more try.

You don't quite make it.

You could give any number of reasons why you failed, but somehow you feel like it was just bad luck. You're disappointed, but not devastated.

You gave it your all, though it wasn't your best. And that might not make sense to anyone else, but it means everything to you.

"Glory, Brian. One word. Glory." - Sanjay

You Heard Me

April Fool's Joke #1

Jun Ian & Jamie vs Mahadi

At 00:16:19 this morning.

Jamie: chuck norris isn't in the hospital
Jamie: the hospital is in chuck norris
junian: oh shit you suck
Jamie: why because i popped your little bubble of chuck norris? xp
junian: okay
junian: we both tell mahadi that chuck norris in hospital
junian: are you talking to him now
Jamie: yeah huh
junian: put that in your name and i tell him
junian: you dont say anything but put in your name
Jamie: put what? chuck norris in hospital?
junian: yeah
Jamie: now? xp
junian: remember he's having a testicular operation
junian: now

* Jamie has changed his/her personal message to CHUCK NORRIS IS IN THE HOSPITAL!

Jamie: ah uhm okay (: now what?
junian: we wait
Jamie: okay. elevator music plays.

So!

junian: mahadi!
Mahadi (ci) : mmhmm...
junian: did you know
junian: CHUCK NORRIS MASUK HOSPITAL
junian: not so invincible after all
Mahadi (ci) : why
junian: testicular operation
junian: o.o
junian: for wearing tight jeans

Meanwhile!

Mahadi: oi noob
Mahadi: chuck norris in hospital
Jamie: damn sad right. we should send get well card
Mahadi: send get well card to me la
Mahadi: im damn emo now la

Back to us!

Mahadi (ci) : i always expected hard gay to get one before norris
Mahadi (ci) : heck i would never expect norris to get that
junian: hard gay already kena before what
junian: hip injury
Mahadi (ci) : serious arr
Mahadi (ci) : norris... haha
Mahadi (ci) : balls of steel too heavy
junian: lol
junian: theres an article
junian: wait i find
Mahadi (ci) : IS THIS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE!?!?

BUSTED! :P

April Fool's Joke #2

Jun Ian & Jamie vs Peako

Peako reads Jamie's personal message.

peako: WTF
peako: chuck norris is in the hospital??

So!

Jamie: HAHA. interested? (:
junian: okay wait
junian: i know how
Jamie: mm so how you wanna play this?
Jamie: yeah smooth la
junian: hold off
junian: tell him its on my blog
junian: not yet
junian: NOT YET
Jamie: okay. uh. say when
junian: is he suspicious?

Is he?

Jamie: yeah. testicular operation
Jamie: damn tragic right?
peako: when???
peako: link??
Jamie: you're so outdated
Jamie: how can you not know?
peako: lol
peako: oh
peako: cheyy
peako: that operation
peako: ah
Jamie: you know?

Then!

junian: okay im done
junian: tell him its on my blog

The bait!

peako: he finally updated
Jamie: yeah
Jamie: first post on the top la
Jamie: picture of chuck norris in the hospital

And then...

HOME RUN!;)

April Fool's Joke #3

Shu Wei vs Wai Khuin

I got a call from Wai Khuin this morning, when I was in the graveyard doing Qing Ming.

Wai Khuin: Jun Ian did you hear? No school tomorrow cause Mrs Matthews died!
Jun Ian: Happy April Fool's day to you too.
Wai Khuin: No I'm serious! All our monitors are sending sms! Shu Wei showed me! You don't believe you call the office la!
Jun Ian: Send me the message?

Message beep!

To all teachers, staff and students of Wesley Methodist School, I would like to express my deepest regrets for the death of our principal, Mrs Vimala Matthews. She passed away in the KLGH after a car accident yesterday night. As a result, the school office will be closed on Monday, 2nd April 2007 and will reopen the next day. Those who wish to pay their last respects to our beloved principal, please contact me. - Ms Goh Kai Lian

Message beep again!

oh wait. i just found out shu wei pranked me.

Oh Wai Khuin.

Heartbreak Hunt

I don't really know how to put my feelings into words, cause it'd probably look alot like this.

junian: DAMN SAD OK

junian: explain to you
junian: last year the treasure hunt was damn hard
junian: so the people who won were the ones who really worked la and the prizes were so so only
junian: but this year dunno why it was so easy so everyone had a chance
junian: and the prizes damn crazy
~* JoJo*~: haha
~* JoJo*~: wat were the prizes?
junian: amir and shamir won second place for under-16
~* JoJo*~: hmmmhh?
~* JoJo*~: yea?
junian: each got one ipod nano, ipod speakers, basketballs and summore stuff
~* JoJo*~: WTH?!?!?!!?
~* JoJo*~: IPOD NANO?!?!?!!?
~* JoJo*~: F***!
junian: and then those who won higher places in other categories got things like ipod videos... sony ericsson until 8X00i series... dunno what bloody camera with alot of numbers
~* JoJo*~:OH SHIT!!!
~* JoJo*~: damn this thing larr
junian: one team win already a few thousand
~* JoJo*~: STOP TELLING ME
~* JoJo*~: i wanna cry adi
junian: its WORSE FOR ME AND THOSE WHO WENT
junian: the winners of my under-18
junian: everyone thought they were the biggest losers ok
junian: first they all no semangat and they finished almost last
junian: everyone pity them and help them
junian: and when they announce prize one was sleeping somewhere
junian: how do you think we feel
~* JoJo*~: sleeping
~* JoJo*~: OMG
~* JoJo*~: i need to go
~* JoJo*~: NXT YEAR
~* JoJo*~: i dun bloody care wat they say
~* JoJo*~: GET 1ST!
~* JoJo*~: I NEED A DAMN PHONE!!!
~* JoJo*~: i rly wanna swear like crazie now
~* JoJo*~: eyy
~* JoJo*~: suan yean jamie and carmen won?
junian: nope
junian: they all damn depressed also
~* JoJo*~: F***
~* JoJo*~: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo
~* JoJo*~: i wanna crryyyyy
~* JoJo*~: AIKZ
~* JoJo*~: need to bloody go nxt yearrr
~* JoJo*~: i so lost out this year
~* JoJo*~: i wanna die alreadyyyyy
~* JoJo*~: JUN IANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
~* JoJo*~: they got a damn hp
~* JoJo*~: FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
~* JoJo*~: i cant blif amir got ipod
~* JoJo*~: SHIT WEIH!
junian: just say it la
junian: FUCK THE WORLD
~* JoJo*~: AHAHAH
~* JoJo*~: YEA
~* JoJo*~: go jun ian!!
~* JoJo*~: I WANNA GO!!
junian: so damn pissed you know!
~* JoJo*~: ask them to rewind the time
~* JoJo*~: LIKE IM NOT
~* JoJo*~: i didnt even go!!
junian: after announcement i look at everyone who didnt win
~* JoJo*~: OMGOSH LARR
junian: everyone was like DAMN PAIN DAMN PAIN
~* JoJo*~: YERRRRRRRRRRRRRR
~* JoJo*~: FUCK THIS SHIT!!
junian: EXACTLY
~* JoJo*~: AHAAH
~* JoJo*~: I WANNA DIE!!
junian: the line between a few thousand dollars and going home with nothing
junian: THIS THIN
~* JoJo*~: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
~* JoJo*~: i want that phone
~* JoJo*~: WHY DIDNT I GO?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?
~* JoJo*~: EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
~* JoJo*~: damn mad larr now
~* JoJo*~: summore they say f2 cant go
~* JoJo*~: THEN AMIR!!!
~* JoJo*~: FUCkk

IT WAS TRAGIC RETARDED.

Liverpool beat Arsenal 4-1. This doesn't erase the pain completely, but it does help.

Doing the treasure hunt itself was really fun though. And Times Square is a pretty cool place if you go before lunch.

It is built like at first they had a mall then they decided to build another mall on top of the first mall, and then a third mall behind the first two. With a rollercoaster.

The arcade is t3h sh1tz, there are all the stores you'd usually go to and a lot more you've never heard of, the theme park is crazy and the cinema... well it's everything you've come to expect from a cinema.

But you have to go before lunch. If you go after lunch, bring backup. At least five or six.

That place is not our turf. There are a couple of groups who have taken over it completely, and lunch is when they come out.

The government would cry to see them.

They're... how can I put this politely? Freaks.

I can't describe them. It would take a documentary.

Next time.

Sneaks Up On You

Updated with new stuffs. Keep looking around and I'm hoping someone has something meaningful to say about all this.

Ain: That's your sister?
Jun Ian: Yeah.
Ain: But she doesn't look like you!
Kevin: Except the nose.
Jun Ian: Does my brother look like me?
Ain: You have a brother?!

My birthday's in less than a week. I can't believe it.

Today!

I have a few topics to write about.

Number one!

Stop. Global. Warming.

School is super hot these days. It's so hot I don't even feel like having dance practice.

Which is a real problem, since I don't mean dance practice for concert (which some people are already getting into), but for the Australian students, who are gonna be here in about two weeks. We haven't even started!

On a slightly related note, I really wanna watch An Inconvenient Truth. Anyone know when that's coming out here? Or is it out already or is it not coming out?

And number two... we found out the form fours are planning to carry on the year-old tradition of social night!

Is it considered a tradition if it only happened once? Probably not, but it might become a tradition soon enough! It's all up to future years to decide.

Form threes! Gonna do social night too? All up to you.

Okay, masterminded by Ain and Sandra, the form four social night seeks to emulate the previous year's social night by having dinner and a dance, but they are not planning to call it social night. I forgot what it is they were going to call it.

I don't know the details, you know, not being form four and all.

[22:09:23] † ???i † | I: they'll think we're drinking booze and having some mass orgy in there
[22:09:46] junian: im sure they would disapprove equally of sparkling juice and holding hands

Brii and I are talking about the school. The school would probably not like the idea of us having social night if they knew about it.

But how could they stop us? I mean, it's not like the school has to be involved at all. It's like trying to stop us celebrating our birthdays or going to the mall.

They will try if we give them the chance. They really will!

Somehow they think it's their business that we wanna get together for something like this. Maybe because if anything goes wrong it's their name that's gonna be all over the news regardless of whether we acted independently or not.

Their fears aren't completely unfounded I guess. After all, I did break a door at last year's social night. Yeah, I did.

It was like this.

As to the reason why I was so angry I will not post it here. If you want to know you can ask me yourself and I might tell you.

Some of the form fives don't like the form fours having social night. They see this as copying and are somehow offended.

That is really weird. It is not like it is going to trouble you in any way, and you are not losing anything from such a deal, so why not be proud that people want to do what you did?

One more thing. I had to find some music for our Malaysian international understanding video, so I tried an Ares search.

I think the results speak for themselves. I'm actually trying to download this. Keep drifting sideways, Malaysia.

This kinda proves that regardless of your bangsa or agama the international language is smut. But... oh dear Mahadi. MAS crews getting it on?

I ended up downloading Negaraku. For reals.

Finally, congratulations to the Under-18 football team for getting the squad you want, even though you had to push aside a few people to do it. Now if you don't win this year you have no more excuses.

Highype

Here's my latest piece. Started out as a drawing of Rachel (because she wanted it) and ended up looking like a Bratz doll.

Rising Sun and Stonehenge backdrop.

I don't know what to say. This week has been pretty awesome.

Chill Days

The blogosphere has been quiet lately. I mean really. Even Keng Yee's chatbox only has one message and that has to be a record. Is... is the internet dying?

But we carry on nonetheless.

There are a few things I have to clear up first.

Number one. Peak Sheng did not find that nudie book in the children's section.

I put it there. For laughs.

Number two. That Pok Man video was my discoverey.

The boy never gives me credit. And he's so busy copyrighting his own images.

Today!

I took the lift. From the fourth floor to the third floor with Guan Xiong. We both agreed it was pretty dope.

The new hall... looks really good. It does! Unfortunately it doubles as a torture room during assembly times. The students are packed, the announcements are soft, the music is whack, the air is heavy and the floor is uncomfortable. In other words, you really really wish you could sleep but you can't.

Heroes... On break til after Sports Day... Do you know why they took that break?

It is because it takes about fifteen days to make one episode... and they have to make sure all the episodes are good, especially episode 23 that is the season finale.

It is going to be TWO HOURS LONG. That's like... a Heroes movie.

Ten kinds of awesome.

Things to do while waiting for .07% (that is what episode 19 is called)

- Read the comic if you aren't already doing so. Each one is kinda short but there is a lot of it, and it goes with the show really well.

- Watch the preview and do not worry there are no spoilers.

- Watch every interview with the cast of Heroes on youtube! These are all good... really!

• Peter talks about his hair, his childhood and dressing up like Madonna (Link)
• Hiro, Niki, Mohinder and Clare dance a little on the couch. (Part 1) (Part 2)
• Hiro and Peter talk about World War II, Rocky and male menopause. (Link)
• Nathan kisses Isaac WTF. (Link)
• Everyone gets a little crazy. (Link)
• Nathan talks about writing plays, songs and flying. (Link)
• Nathan is totally charming. (Link)
  
• Matt, Niki, Hiro, Clare, Peter, Nathan and Mohinder say lame things. (Link)
• Hiro and Peter wear funny shirts at Comic Con. (Link)

- Check out the intensely disturbing but highly entertaining concept of Sylinder... made by the people who think Sylar and Mohinder are hot for each other. The song in this video is called If I Were Gay and is probably something we should play at prom.

When Mohinder and Sylar swim they don't splash the water, water moves in awe of their love.

Uhm... there is a picture of Mohinder and Sylar getting married here. But if you're not into that kind of thing you don't have to click on it. And I'm not usually into that kind of thing but this is pretty hilarious. It's called The Incredibly Awesome Adventures of Mohinder and Sylar.

Okay enough gay things. You can get a lot of that from other people's blogs. Ahem.

- Shoot lots of people. These days I find myself playing CS until I start feeling guilty. This usually takes about three hours. Ka-shik-BOOM!

- Work on your art. Like IU designs for the Interact Club.

What are they? They're door gifts. Duh. Not for you though.

- Lose yourself in sports practice... and here's a fact. There are only six guy athletes representing green house for form five.

Guan Xiong, Yow Hwui, Jason Woi, Jeck Beng, Ding Wei and I. And out of those six, Ding Wei and I are only doing one event each. The running and other stuff is split among those four.

Guan Xiong's doing six events. There should be probably be some kind of prize just for that.

The Singapore Troublemaker's Index

Jamie - # 38

"She wants to know if anyone is suffering from Jamie-withdrawal syndrome." - Peako

Likes:

• counter-strike
• fried mars bars

"The deep-fried Mars Bar is thought to have originated in Stonehaven, in the north-east of Scotland. Its existence may help account for the fact that parts of Scotland have the highest incidence of heart disease, cancer and strokes, the worst teeth and the lowest life expectancy in the developed world." - BBC News (link)

• white sports (tennis, golf)
• solitaire

Dislikes:

• twits
• jaywalking
• straws
• staying in school

Notes:

• spent night at MRT station
• mother has fear of her getting raped in taxi
• influential

The second time they played Counter-Strike, Jun Ian killed a lot of people and he told Jamie that he wanted to play more Counter-Strike now. Jamie told him that she has made a lot of people feel that way.

Jamie also influenced Jun Ian to look for napkins after meals even if there weren't any around, and to dislike straws the way she did.

Unfortunately, Jamie could not influence him to stop jaywalking. This was because his Malaysian upbringing was too strong and he thought that waiting for the traffic lights was silly.

• critical
  

See it is pretty much all right to insult me because just check out this diagram of my self-esteem.

Troublemaker Rating:

• Nosiness: 7
• Disaster Power: 9
• Financial Damage: 8
• Escape Factor: 7

Mark - #5
Likes:

• wife
• babes
• guitaring
• artistry

This is Marks' guitar. He pimped it out himself. Clever Mark!

Dislikes:

• Macbeth

To see Markduff's heroic fight against Macbeth, just click on the picture.

Something went wrong with the embedding so it has to be like that.

• the killing of "all [his] chickens in one fell swoop"
• shallow conversation
  

"The entire three days was just spent talking about which superhero, actor, singer, video game character or otherwise celebrity you would rather 'do', which was fun for the first half an hour but then got really immature." - Mark

Notes:

• picked fight in cybercafe over ringtone he didnt like
  
• brutally honest

"If you weren't my friend I would punch you for saying that. You're one of those guys I would glare at like this if I met on the street." - Mark

• almost set fire to Dexter's house

Troublemaker Rating:

• Nosiness: 8
• Disaster Power: 10
• Financial Damage: 10
• Escape Factor: 8

Rachel - # 98
Likes:

• manga
• Eliot's cartoon of the Pope

Dislikes:

• not known (generally amiable)

Note:

• again, not much known apart from the fact that she is good natured, friendly and approachable

Troublemaker Rating:

• Nosiness: 7
• Disaster Power: 8
• Financial Damage: 7
• Escape Factor: 8

Heroics

Everyone's watching Heroes.sanesaint says:

oh and guess wat
sanesaint says:
i hate sylar

Everyone's.

Watching.

Heroes.


And those who don't wish they could.

Just imagine if we had Wira-Wira in Malaysia.

The Mat Rempit who can heal from any accident. (Ghost Rider)

The batik artist who can paint the future into scarves.

The UMNO candidate who can fly.

The Rakan Cop who can read minds.

The teenage blogger whose split personality exhibits super-bitchiness. (*ahem*sushi*ahem*)

The Mat Salleh tourist who can stop time. (Look, Alan! Not a scratch on the Satria!)

The chemistry teacher who tries to find them. (H, Li, Na)

The imitation watchmaker who collects abilities. (going by the name of either Lolex or G-Shock)

Mawi.

And the reckless footballer with the power of retrieval.



Explanation. On Friday, we were playing football. The fencing was down for repairs or something and the ball went into the drain. It started to float away fast so there was no time to think and I jumped down to get the ball. Of course, the walls were like three metres high so I was stuck down there. Some of the guys tried to lower a rope but that almost tore my hands off. I tried wrapping my hands in my shirt but that didnt work either.

Vexation. So I was trapped and shirtless and everybody there had their camera phones out. Stupid technological advances.

Conclusion. The video will show you how I got out in the end.

[01:05:37] [F.G.R.S.]: people go down there sometimes right
[01:05:43] [F.G.R.S.]: how the hell do they get up?
[01:05:51] [F.G.R.S.]: i heard some form threes went down before
[01:05:54] sanesaint: yeah
[01:06:03] sanesaint: it took five of them to retrieve the ball

But how did they do it?

Animal Stories #1

Marcus: You know my house... surrounded by monkeys. They're always climbing around on the trees and sitting on the roof.
Jun Ian: When you say surrounded it sounds like the monkeys just sit in the trees and watch your house all day, smoking little cigarettes.
Marcus: My father hates the monkeys. Whenever he sees one hanging around he'll take his BB gun and shoot it. He keeps them in the garage where we can't find them. Sometimes you see a monkey on the roof and he just takes two and... dual wield!
Pui May: You know Lib Yin's house? At the back where the trees are damn thick?
Marcus: Oh yeah, there got monkeys also right?
Pui May: Sometimes the monkeys attack her dog. You know how her dog is this small right?
Daryl: Huh, the monkeys attack her dog? So small that they just swing in and snatch it and disappear into the trees?
Pui May: This one time, she came out and her dog was alone in the yard and all the monkeys were looking at it. She just grabbed the dog, ran into the house and shut the door.

Animal Stories #2

Marcus: You know what pet would be cool? A shark. The big balcony at my house, we should put a pool there, and put a shark in the pool.
Daryl: Someone's been watching too much Austin Powers.
Marcus: Imagine just standing there watching the shark swim in circles... then every day you go out and catch a small dog and throw it!
Daryl: Make the ceiling real low so when birds fly past the shark jumps out like RAWR and takes them down!
Jun Ian: You know what animal could beat the shark? A pelanduk. It has complete mastery over all other animals, especially crocodiles.
Marcus: Put the pelanduk near the shark pool with a dog chasing it... then the pelanduk will kick the dog into the pool. Put a different dog every day.
Daryl: Eventually one of the dogs is going to outsmart the pelanduk.
Jun Ian: Nah, the pelanduk will be too smart. You can invite your enemies to your house and leave them alone with the pelanduk. Number one assassin! Your pelanduk will kill more people than AIDS and eventually replace Osama as the FBI's Most Wanted.


Animal Stories #3

Pui May: The guy who owns the Mines Wonderland... his daughter wanted a white tiger for her fifteenth birthday.
Marcus: What? A white tiger? What makes a person wake up in the morning and say, I feel like having a tiger? And not just any old tiger either.
Jun Ian: Is that the reason why the Mines has white tigers? She got bored with it?
Pui May: Actually, they're not allowed to keep it in the house. Cause it's an endangered species.
Daryl: Would be pretty cool actually.
Jun Ian: People drop by to visit and you're sitting there stroking your tiger's head.
Marcus: And if you get robbers you can just say... got get them!

This one time, everyone was having this deep, meaningful discussion about movies, when along came Wilkin.

Sanjay: That is actually a good movie.
Brian: Can't wait to see 300 la... they already went to watch right?
Wilkin: Hey, you know what movie you should watch? ORGAZMO! (^o^)

Everyone was like (O.O)

Wilkin: It's about a superhero called Orgazmo. When people are in trouble he humps them.
For a while we all just thought he was just being Wilkin. Then I found out they actually made a movie called Orgazmo.

[00:58:57] peako: wilkin, watches alot of stuff
[00:59:04] peako: he said betty brings back "interesting movies"

According to the inter-net, there are like seventeen porn stars in it and the producers had originally wanted to make it a musical but couldn't get enough support.

Holidays are the busiest time. Holidays have been pretty fun lately though. And on Wednesday... Singapotrip, the gayest fscking thing on the internet.

Students Banned From Saying Hi To Teachers

SENTUL, Wednesday - In an astonishingly lame move by the administration of Wesley Methodist School, students are no longer allowed to say 'hi' to teachers.

School Principal Vimala Matthews announced that it would be henceforth considered a violation of school rules for students to greet members of the teaching staff with 'hi'.

"We have certain protocols in this school," said Matthews from the podium at assembly. "You don't just say 'hi, madam' or 'hi, sir' like they're your friends. When you see your teachers you greet them with 'good morning' or 'good afternoon'."

As the students gathered in the basketball court exchanged incredulous looks, Matthews added, "Teachers, if any student says 'hi' to you from now on, send them to me."

"We've heard a lot of dumb shit during morning assembly, but this really takes the cake," said Kenji Low, a student at the school. "Lately, there's been a lot of pressure on us to greet teachers whenever we see them, in the corridors, in the classrooms or in the cafeteria. And we didn't mind, even though they said we could get sent to the office for not doing it, because it's always been a thing we've done in this school, under threat of punishment or not. But this new rule? Gay."

This new ruling, publicly viewed as retarded by the majority of the student body, was a source of bafflement even to prominent student authority figures.

"If we can't say 'hi' to teachers, can we say 'bye'?" asked Head Prefect Sanjay Chandran. "What do we have to say to them at the end of the day now, thank you? Before this rule was announced I was going around saying 'hi' and 'bye' to everybody, but now I have to keep stopping myself from saying 'hi' all the time."

Chandran then wished a group of passing teachers 'thank you' as they headed towards the gate. "I'm so confused," he said.

"Damn cibai la," said Sally Wong, whose real name has been changed to protect privacy. "You see now Matthews become principal also sure think she damn big already then make damn alot of sohai rules. Cannot say 'hi' to teachers... what the fuck? You tell me retarded or not? She think we all follow what she say like dog only... what shit is this right?"

Even ex-principal Anthony Reynold Peter found the school's latest policy to be "utter bullshit".

"I did a lot of good things during my time as principal at Wesley," said Peter, who constantly can be found walking around school grounds despite having retired at the end of last year. "But it looks like all that hard work is coming undone, thanks to the morons now sitting in my office. How many more dumbass laws can they pile onto these kids until the parents decide that enough is enough? All I'm saying is, the school might be looking for a new principal soon."

When reminded that he had already retired, Peter remained unfazed. "Because no one has ever come out of retirement, right? Get real."

---

In other news... totally bored student pimps out calculator after finishing his computer exam in ten minutes.

That student would be me. Here's a picture of my calculator, with a black and red finish.

Reminds you of a Ferarri, doesn't it? What's the plural for Ferrari anyway? Ferraris? Ferrarii?

My calculator on the inside, and on the back.

Like I said, I did the whole thing in thirty minutes waiting for the exam to finish.

It's the first time I ever tried something like that, and my marker pen was out of ink from the start. Not really satisfied with the way it turned out, but it's a solid first effort.

Why don't they let me sit for the art exam anymore?

Exams Going On

Not much to say right now. Exams going on til Thursday. I studied only a couple of hours a day, and I only started on Sunday so I'm surprised at how well it's going.

This didn't actually happen. To me.

Marcus: Leong was looking at my maths paper, then she called Mr Moore and they both looked at my paper and started laughing.

Looking forward to holidays!

But I just said I shouldn't look forward to things otherwise I'll miss out on the present... also, I kinda enjoy the short periods in between exams. I don't get to hang out with my old friends enough. It's not that I don't like the new class. There's just not enough laughs. On some days, no laughs period.

Recommended reading: Penny and Aggie. Like a teen drama, only funny. The main reason why I didn't really study for chemistry and add maths. I guess I should study now.

Or something.

Life, The Universe And Everything

This holidays, the old gang of Panda, Fox, Gorilla, Peako and Deis head south on a train to the lonely (not really) island of Singapore for three days of youthful misadventures. The decision was not made entirely on a whim, though. We are going to meet perhaps the greatest animal of all and watch him take on the role McDuff in his school play.

Not this guy.

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

This is McDuff.

He is from the play McBeth, which was written by William McShakespeare. Which one is he? I don't know, the one with the beard.

Plays aside, the trip promises to be serious fun. Far from the watchful eye of authority figures, our merry band has made schemes to unleash a wave frivolous hijinks and shenanigans of the wildly irresponsible variety on the unsuspecting city.

However tantalising the prospect of the holidays and all they offer, one obstacle stands tall in our collective path like a biblical Goliath, but equipped with a helmet purposed to turn aside even the most treacherous of stones. You get my meaning.

omg exams

How should be prepare for these exams? Guan Xiong offers sage advice.

lol like that not geng la deng when like dem late u cant absorb wan la deng but in the morning force kau urself read sure guarantee absorb wan n sure niama last wan what you read

See? Not geng la DENG.

Lame Joke #1

Seeyau: Brian... you know indians right, they like to talk alot.
Brian: Yeah...
Seeyau: So why? Why do indians talk alot?
Brian: Why?
Seeyau: Cause the stop button is here. (O*O)
Brian: OMG LOL! (>.<)

And everyone is like wtf brian it is not that funny why are you laughing so hard?

Lame Joke #2

Seeyau: Here's another one.
Brian: Okay.
Seeyau: Why do indians keep shaking like this?
Jun Ian: Same answer?
Seeyau: The stop button is here. (O*O)
Brian: LMAO! (>.<)

And everyone looks at brian like how can you laugh at the same thing twice it is not funny.

Lame Joke #3

Wilkin: Here's my joke. Once upon a time... OH LI-WEN WAS BORN! HAHAHA! (^o^)
Brian: WTF LIEK ROFL! (^o^)

5P joke. It's not as bad as it sounds, just one of those 'had to be there' things.

Heroes is awesome.

Episodes 16 and 17 have been just... wow. How does the show keep on getting better? I'm going to dedicate a post to it one day. Don't ask me when. When I have enough stuff to do it justice.

Last week I thought Unexpected was the best hour of television ever produced, they topped it in just one week with the Company Man. Which is a work of breathtaking cinematic genius and my favorite episode of Heroes so far.

Lately, I feel like I'm blogging for all the wrong reasons. News about skull toasters and grafitti lasers is probably what the internet was made for, but blogging should probably be a bit more personal. More in the realm of reflection and personal experience, and since I got back into blogging in late January I don't think I've done much to fill that quota.

I miss my old class more than I'll ever admit. I remember the brash promise I made, at the start of the year, to not look back and even that I might find a way to change the people I was now with. I may be forced to break that vow. I never had any delusions that it would be easy to change an entire class, but maybe it just can't be done. Maybe it doesn't have to be. I'm starting to see that the class works fine as it is. It's different, no doubt. But it's diversity that gives life flavor.

School life is fleeting, and over before you can fully grasp at what it means to you.

No one sees it coming, but life sneaks up on you. When you measure time in events, and ignore the spaces in between, a whole year could pass in the blink of an eye.

In January I knew it was my last year, and I had to make it count somehow. I dreamed up a list of things I could do to make it special. But everything was new and life was hectic and the month slipped away.

At the start of February, I counted down the days to the Jogathon. When the Jogathon was over, I counted down the days to Valentine's. And when that was over suddenly it was the middle of February, and Chinese New Year was silent this year.

Now the exams are knocking, and the holidays will follow. Sport practice lasts for a month, then April brings Sports Day, the visit by the Hearts and my birthday. May marks the academic calendar with forty hours of examinations, and the spaces in between are filled with club projects, extra classes and concert practice.

I can't help but look forward to the concert. But it is the time spent practicing for it that I enjoy more. The concert is in July, well into the second half of the school year. Then revision, trials, the finals themselves, and school is over forever.

Prom might be the last time some of us ever see each other. And then what thoughts would go unspoken, what tales would fade unwritten, what dreams would die unfulfilled?

Where would I be then? Where would we all be? Only the future holds the answers we seek. If you could see yourself in five, ten, or fifty years, what would you see? Would it move you to challenge the call of destiny as it reaches out or would you simply be content to lie still as the rushing tides speed you towards your fate?

If you look always to the horizon, you miss the miracle of life as it happens around you. I am content to wait, and let tomorrow bring what it may. And if we live each moment as it were truly our last, maybe we wouldn't mind so much when it finally is.

Credit: All graphs and charts were inspired by genius blog indexed.

In Which Several Things Happen

Dutch grafitti writers have found a way to tag a building from miles off. With a JEEP MOUNTED LASER. If you do not find having the means to carve your initials into each of the Twin Towers while drunk extremly exciting, there is something seriously wrong with you. Something seriously wrong that might be fixed perhaps by splitting an atom.

It's called a GRL L.A.S.E.R. Tagging System and there is a website with video so you can catch it in action and find out how it works.

This has to be one of the coolest things ever invented. If you didn't really understand what I said, this new laser has the ability to write I LOVE MY IBU into the side of the school from the safe side of the fence, assuming you ever wanted to do such a thing. There should be an award or something to celebrate this level of innovation.

(video link)

Zhi Mei: You went to see Lillian Too's house madam?

Moses: Not exactly, she has some show houses on display. But she was there.
Jun Ian: Madam, did you meet her sister, Lillian One?
Moses: No, I don't think she has a sister. But I did see her daughter, Lilian Three.

Brian also made a joke about Donkey Kong but it was kinda WTF.

This is a picture of Nathan, Ghost Rider.

There's a really good story behind this picture. Nathan, a cheap lighter and Ghost Rider walk into a bar.

Actually, the story is nothing like that. In Nathan's own words, he was making fireballs with a lighter in his room. If you don't know how a fireball is made, there are a few simple steps.

1. Close one hand so air can be trapped inside. Your closed hand should have one small opening.
2. Use a standard lighter (Zippos will not work here) to release gas into your closed hand through the small opening.
3. Let the gas from the lighter fill your hand for any amount of time between 20 seconds and (if you think you're really hardcore enough) 5 minutes.
4. When you feel that enough gas has been released, flick the lighter into your closed hand. At this point you can either open your hand quickly or keep it closed.

This creates a fireball effect. After writing that procedure I had a sudden rush of inspiration and spent ten minutes playing with fireballs in the dark.

Anyway, back to Nathan. He made a fireball with about 5-10 minutes of gas and it engulfed his whole hand. Human skin has a burn time of about 2 seconds (can't remember who told me this) so his hand was undamaged.

This is a high speed photograph of a lightbulb burning out. I'm no photographer, but it was taken with skill. Many other pictures of smoke can be found at this blog. I swear, smoke never looked this good.

(photo blog)

Then he decided to try and spit fire with his mouth. Upwards. This works in pretty much the same way a fireball does, only you have to be really careful not to swallow the gas from the lighter, because it is bad for your lungs. And normally people don't spit fire upwards, because it is potentially bad for your hair, your nose and the hair in your nose.

Rozita: Lee Zhien, boleh songsangkan ayat 'sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta'?
Lee Zhien: Lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta... sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan?
Jun Ian: Oh my God. (O.o)
Sharlene: I know, it's just the complete opposite! (^o^)
Guan Xiong: Madam, macam mana boleh? Tak ada maksud langsung la!
Rozita: Itulah cara songsangkan ayat.
Guan Xiong: Tapi tak ada maksud lagi la madam! Macam... Xiong Wong Guan! Tak ada maksud!

Nathan sucked gas for about 3 minutes then spat fire in a general, upwards direction. He missed his intended target (empty space) and set his fringe alight with a warm glow and the stench of hair burning. If you have never smelt hair burning before, take my word for it - it's far from aromatherapic. It is a target for crows.

Forgetting he had a washroom in his own room, Nathan ran down the stairs where his brother was... presumably having lunch or something. Whatever he was doing, he had a pot of curry in his hands, which he promptly used to douse the fire burning like a fever on Nathan's head. Reports indicate that the curry "was hot, and hurt more than the fire did".

101 Ways To Beat Artist's Block

Dani from Dani Draws has compiled a nice list of 101 ideas for illustrators needing a creative spark. It's really cool to read through if you find it relevant to you, and even if you don't.

1. Make a book cover for your favorite classic novel.
2. Create a series of illustrations that show the passage of time.
3. Illustrate a song.
4. Make a narrative advertisement for a soft drink.
5. Illustrate your favorite childhood memory.
6. Make a children’s book spread for a fairy tale.
7. Illustrate the four seasons.
8. Why did the chicken cross the road?
9. Make a series of black and white “chapter” drawings for a novel.
10. Retell a short story in graphic form.

(the full list)

The following was written at 8:24:15 in Chemistry Lab.

Wow, amazing. And I thought chapel was empty this morning. There's only 13 people what came to class today. Our own personal Last Supper. The other classes seem to have a more normal attendance rate, but there's a physics class next door with only two guys sitting in. I don't know, whichever class Joel is in. It's not physically possible that only two people came to class right? Maybe the others are just... slow or something. That's got to be it. 17 absentees in 5W today. My name isn't Jack Bauer, but this could be the longest day of my life.

To pass the time I will write a remake of the song American Pie. I will start with the chorus, and make a list of song words that rhyme with pie.

rye, die, dry, guy, bye, fry, sly, tie,
fly, buy, aye, ally, bi, cry, eye, hi, my,
high, nigh, why, pry, dye, shy, psi, try,
spy, sk, by, spry, ennui, Lexii, Jedi, Jamiroquai.

Well, I haven't got very far with my remake. But if you get the chance you should listen to the song American Pie, if you haven't already. It is eight minutes long, but it is nice.

I could make a song about the man who mistook a porn DVD for a woman's cries for help and rushed into his neighbour's apartment with a sword.

Would-be hero James Van Iveren. Poor guy. Arrested and all he wanted to do was help. With a sword and an attitude befitting Chuck Norris.

Real life. Stranger than fiction.