Wednesday, January 31, 2007

In Which A Life Is Saved

Related update: new artwork.
As usual, click to enlarge.
Done in two hours. Won't do colours for this one. Looks alot like last year's work right? I hate last year's work.

I wrote this in school today.

I'm in double physics right now. All the windows are shut and you wouldn't believe what's happening outside. There's a real life drama unfolding on the roof of the school next door.

On the roof of MBS there is a man. He's been sitting there for... what? More than an hour now. None of us know who he is or how he got there. We all think he's a jumper. The police and the fire brigade are here, they've been around for some time but they haven't done much.


He doesn't look like a student. Some of us think he could be a teacher, or a janitor.


Half the school is watching this. The other half probably wishes they could.


This morning, when the teachers were having their meeting, I went to 5M and I found some people standing at the window, looking out at the other school. There was a man sitting on the roof. Sarah got a message from Karen. She ran out to the stairwell with Wye Peng. I followed them and Suat behind me. We watched the activity for a while, but nothing really happened. Sarah took some pictures with her phone.


We went back to class after awhile. Then the firemen started to spray water at him in powerful jets. I don't know what they were hoping to achieve, but he almost slipped once or twice. Maybe they had a net ready, but it didn't seem like a really smart thing to do.


There's a shout from outside. Siva can't control the class. The windows are all open and we're watching intently. There's a cop on the roof, talking to the man. All of MBS is gathered outside to watch. The firemen have surrounded the man with a loose circle of ropes and ladders. There isn't enough to catch him if he jumps or falls. The firemen are slowing closing in on him even as the cop inches closer, trying to get him to talk and offering him a smoke.


The atmosphere is electric. No one can look away. Even Siva's given up on teaching. He's standing at the windows with the rest of us. The policeman's reached the jumper, who finally stopped moving away from him. He's smoking and the cop is talking to him. They're real close. Nothing's happened in a while. People are starting to get bored, they're moving away...


There are two firemen on the roof. They're moving towards him. Now they're putting a safety line around him. It looks ominously almost like a noose. The assembled crowd is clapping and shouting. The four of them are sitting together. They're fastening the rope onto him. There's a lot of movement... is he struggling? He's moving towards the ladder. The cop is holding tight to him. Too bad all our phones are with the teachers.


They got him on the ladder and he's coming down slowly. There's a lot of noise from the MBS side. He's reached the first floor safely. The crowds disperse.


It's all over.

The cops took him away in a squad car. We still don't know who he was, or why he was there. But there's been a lot of speculation.

Guan Xiong: Kumaran your father on the roof!

Not so much speculation as mean-spirited humor then. There was a certain detachment in the way we watched the man as his life dangled on the line.

Kind of like the way you'd watch American Idol. You know the contestants are all real people but at that moment, when you're safe at home and they're out there throwing their dignity to the dogs, they seem like a completely different species.

There's a small, mean part of you that wants to see them burn.

So it was with the man on the roof. Personally I've got no ambition to watch a man die, but there were people shouting at him to jump.

You all know what I'm talking about.

And I don't really have any to blog about right now. I'll say some stuff about the dances and all in abit.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

In Which Actual Blogging Begins

Mrs Matthews: I don't think I can allow you to sell roses anymore.
Boon Guan: Why not? We've always sold them for friendship day in previous years.
Mrs Matthews: Because what happens is a girl will give a rose to another girl. And the two girls will hug.

I'm not making that up. She actually said that. That's the reason why we can't sell roses in school. Not boy-girl relationships, but because apparently, Wesley Methodist hates fags.

If I can pull it off I plan to organize mass gay huggings outside the office or wherever on valentine's day/friendship day. And, if the masses are willing... why stop at hugging?

Imagine... the whole school standing in the basketball court, paired up guy to guy and girl to girl, holding hands, dry humping and snogging in the most blatant display of homosexuality this school has ever seen since the YMCA.

We could make a movie. And call it like...V for Valentine.

They will remember the 14th of February.

It's been almost a month since Christmas, time to show everyone what I've been up to.

No it's nothing bad...

#1: Made christmas card for Australian adopted family. See, it is very good to be a member of my adopted family. Actually, they adopted me but DETAILS.

This is the link to the non-animated version if anyone's interested.

Maria says Stefan isn't coming over this April. Meaning I'm gonna get someone else to host. Cause I'll be hosting for sure. Unlike certain people who are 'too busy' to extend the same courtesy they received back in July... was it July? I've got no memory for dates at all...

See, I remember that my own birthday is on the 2nd of April, and that Jun Yu and Wei Li have the same birthday as me. And Shannon Matthews was born on the 1st of April, one day before.

My sister's birthday is in April, 17-18-19-ish. My father and my brother, in December. My mother in May-June-July-ish.

Wen Juin's birthday is in June, Bio's birthday is the day after 9/11, so I remember that. Ding Wei sometime in February, Yow Hwui in January, Jenq Yan last Friday, Suat Lay today.

Some Korean guy called Hero also had his birthday on Friday. I know because they wrote in on the whiteboard under 'happening things', next to 'Rain is coming'.

Should be here by now.

And there was one day in January where Karen and Rachel Lee had the same birthday, but I can't remember what day it is anymore. And it was just last month. No wait, it was this month. SEE? I TOLD YOU.

#2: Found snowman outside mall in Beijing. I did not make the snowman. I when I found him, he was already made. By who, I don't know. Do hobos make snowmen? Are there even hobos in China?

Hobo-licious - definition: person who is homeless.

It's not a very good picture, and I don't know what I was looking at. But it gets the point across. There was a snowman, and I was there.

There are many more pictures of snow and stuff that I could show you, but if you wanna see that you'll have to wait. Maybe wait for a long time. I don't know.

Brian: Bang, mana saya punya? Kenapa makanan lambat sangat bang?
Waiter: Saya bagi you dalam dua jam boleh. Kamu semua siap saja saya bawa dia punya okay?
Brian: Tak lucu la bang. Sangat tidak lucu.
Waiter: Dua jam la, you tunggu.
Brian: Mana boleh la?
Waiter: Okay la, saya pergi sekejap. Jangan nak nangis la okay?
Brian: What the... He stole my line wei!
Waiter: Don't cry okay?

The waiter pats Brian on the shoulder.

Brian: Kenapa you sentuh saya? Saya bayar kamu sentuh saya ke? Apabila saya nak kamu sentuh saya saya bagitahu okay?
Brian: Hey bang... ada makanan di situ la.


Brian points near the waiter's mouth. There is a mole there. The waiter feels for it then realises he's being had. He takes a swipe at Brian. Brian ducks and shows off his T shirt.

Brian: Tengok ini, ini kamu punya. Ini saya punya.
Waiter: Bukanlah... ini saya punya. Itu baru kamu punya.
Brian: Macam ni la wei... Ini saya punya. Ini you.

Brian points to the empty space on his shirt.

Brian: You tak ada.


The waiter laughs and heads back to the kitchen.

Kevin: He is totally spitting in your food right now.

#3: Made snowball. The video will show you the way.


You have no idea how much I want some ice cream right now.

News: I'll be getting a shoutbox soon. Maybe before the next update.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

It's Not Blackmail If I Go Public With It

Maybe the best thing you'll ever see on YouTube all year.

Sanjay.

Mark.

Jon.


Special thanks to Eugene for digging up this old video!

Special thanks to Kengyee for helping out with the background!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Release Animals

Daniel: So you're having a sketch? And Marcus is God?
Marcus: That's right.
Daniel: How can Marcus be God? God isn't that ugly.
Marcus: Hey, watch it. God never looked this good! *turns away and prays* Sorry, sorry...

Here we go again.

Okay it's like two thousand seven now, and this is my first post of the year and also my first post in a long, long time. One year ago...

Note: These words here are like SO OLD they are like une year old. I did say that already though didn't I?

At the urging of those who said I should, and in defiance of those who didn't, I have created a blog.

So this, right here is my first post. It is also the first day of the new year. To commemorate this occasion of dubious significance, you might expect a celebration of some sort, an inspiring mission statement of my broader objectives, or at least a few words. Well, no. That is, there will be no instances of merrymaking, nor will there be commandments, but of words, there will be plenty.
This whole New Year deal, are you supposed to somehow know when it happens? I actually feel slightly different, but it's not like anything special has happened. Sure, today was a busy day, what else is new?

Maybe you understood that block of text there. Maybe you got lazy halfway through. What it means is that I thought the first post of the first day of the new year was special in some way.

Keng Yee: I read your blog once. Didn't understand a word.

I don't feel the same way about this post. I already tried blogging a couple of times in the past few months, didn't really work out. I never got back into it.

The reason why I'm blogging now is cause there is something to bitch about, and now I'm going to use my powers of blogging for good instead of evil.

So, here's like... I dunno. I just had to post this.

I wanna say a few words about this whole concert thing.

The concert is in like June or July but they've already started planning stuff. They're sorting us into groups already. Their theme this year?

Dances From Around the World.

Wow. I mean, that's like fucking Shakespeare.

Seriously though. I heard this from my brother. (I don't know why I had to hear it from my brother) They're planning to have 31 dances.

Jun Ian: I can't believe they're having 31 dances.
Jun Shern: I could have misheard. It's either 31 or 21.
Jun Ian: There's a real big difference between 31 and 21.
Jun Shern: Maybe it was 21. But I remember Mdm Anne said 31. She's doing South... no North America. No wait, North India. South India! She's South Indian. That's either the dance she's in charge of or the part of India where she's from.
Jun Ian: ... I don't trust your memory anymore. So which part of India is bhangra from? North, South, Central or Calcutta?

- African (Brian and Wilkin)
- Indian (Sarah, all girls from Grease, Daniel and I)
- Bhangra (Deepaq)
- 28 other dances, out of which at least 20 are going to suck.

Sanjay and Jon are actors now.

That's just... genius!

How can you have another indian dance when Deepaq's already doing bhangra? Even Bollywood wouldn't know what to do with that guy.

We're only allowed one dance too. That really hurts, guys.

Update:

-Vicky says its 21 or something like that. That's still alot.
- The form threes are doing Central America.
- Somehow my brother put his name in for African, but he's form one and I don't know how that's going to work out.

- Just found out: Hawaii, Brazil, Hungary, Italy, New York, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Spain are ON THE LIST. Are YOU on the list?

Nerdcore Rising PAX is so nerdy. It is SUPER NERD. I didnt know my heroes were so nerdy! Those nerds are just... NERDS. There is no other nerd for it. I mean, no other word.

I mean, that nerd just got down on his knees on stage and proposed to that other nerd! IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE NERDS. And they had their lightsabers out and stuff.

I like Star Wars too but...

Whatever.

Here's the video if you were interested in watching them nerds.

Presenting. NERDS.


I knew that the stereotype had to come from somewhere and... no offense to you nerd guys but seriously it is weird.