Students Banned From Saying Hi To Teachers

SENTUL, Wednesday - In an astonishingly lame move by the administration of Wesley Methodist School, students are no longer allowed to say 'hi' to teachers.

School Principal Vimala Matthews announced that it would be henceforth considered a violation of school rules for students to greet members of the teaching staff with 'hi'.

"We have certain protocols in this school," said Matthews from the podium at assembly. "You don't just say 'hi, madam' or 'hi, sir' like they're your friends. When you see your teachers you greet them with 'good morning' or 'good afternoon'."

As the students gathered in the basketball court exchanged incredulous looks, Matthews added, "Teachers, if any student says 'hi' to you from now on, send them to me."

"We've heard a lot of dumb shit during morning assembly, but this really takes the cake," said Kenji Low, a student at the school. "Lately, there's been a lot of pressure on us to greet teachers whenever we see them, in the corridors, in the classrooms or in the cafeteria. And we didn't mind, even though they said we could get sent to the office for not doing it, because it's always been a thing we've done in this school, under threat of punishment or not. But this new rule? Gay."

This new ruling, publicly viewed as retarded by the majority of the student body, was a source of bafflement even to prominent student authority figures.

"If we can't say 'hi' to teachers, can we say 'bye'?" asked Head Prefect Sanjay Chandran. "What do we have to say to them at the end of the day now, thank you? Before this rule was announced I was going around saying 'hi' and 'bye' to everybody, but now I have to keep stopping myself from saying 'hi' all the time."

Chandran then wished a group of passing teachers 'thank you' as they headed towards the gate. "I'm so confused," he said.

"Damn cibai la," said Sally Wong, whose real name has been changed to protect privacy. "You see now Matthews become principal also sure think she damn big already then make damn alot of sohai rules. Cannot say 'hi' to teachers... what the fuck? You tell me retarded or not? She think we all follow what she say like dog only... what shit is this right?"

Even ex-principal Anthony Reynold Peter found the school's latest policy to be "utter bullshit".

"I did a lot of good things during my time as principal at Wesley," said Peter, who constantly can be found walking around school grounds despite having retired at the end of last year. "But it looks like all that hard work is coming undone, thanks to the morons now sitting in my office. How many more dumbass laws can they pile onto these kids until the parents decide that enough is enough? All I'm saying is, the school might be looking for a new principal soon."

When reminded that he had already retired, Peter remained unfazed. "Because no one has ever come out of retirement, right? Get real."

---

In other news... totally bored student pimps out calculator after finishing his computer exam in ten minutes.

That student would be me. Here's a picture of my calculator, with a black and red finish.

Reminds you of a Ferarri, doesn't it? What's the plural for Ferrari anyway? Ferraris? Ferrarii?

My calculator on the inside, and on the back.

Like I said, I did the whole thing in thirty minutes waiting for the exam to finish.

It's the first time I ever tried something like that, and my marker pen was out of ink from the start. Not really satisfied with the way it turned out, but it's a solid first effort.

Why don't they let me sit for the art exam anymore?

Exams Going On

Not much to say right now. Exams going on til Thursday. I studied only a couple of hours a day, and I only started on Sunday so I'm surprised at how well it's going.

This didn't actually happen. To me.

Marcus: Leong was looking at my maths paper, then she called Mr Moore and they both looked at my paper and started laughing.

Looking forward to holidays!

But I just said I shouldn't look forward to things otherwise I'll miss out on the present... also, I kinda enjoy the short periods in between exams. I don't get to hang out with my old friends enough. It's not that I don't like the new class. There's just not enough laughs. On some days, no laughs period.

Recommended reading: Penny and Aggie. Like a teen drama, only funny. The main reason why I didn't really study for chemistry and add maths. I guess I should study now.

Or something.

Life, The Universe And Everything

This holidays, the old gang of Panda, Fox, Gorilla, Peako and Deis head south on a train to the lonely (not really) island of Singapore for three days of youthful misadventures. The decision was not made entirely on a whim, though. We are going to meet perhaps the greatest animal of all and watch him take on the role McDuff in his school play.

Not this guy.

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!

This is McDuff.

He is from the play McBeth, which was written by William McShakespeare. Which one is he? I don't know, the one with the beard.

Plays aside, the trip promises to be serious fun. Far from the watchful eye of authority figures, our merry band has made schemes to unleash a wave frivolous hijinks and shenanigans of the wildly irresponsible variety on the unsuspecting city.

However tantalising the prospect of the holidays and all they offer, one obstacle stands tall in our collective path like a biblical Goliath, but equipped with a helmet purposed to turn aside even the most treacherous of stones. You get my meaning.

omg exams

How should be prepare for these exams? Guan Xiong offers sage advice.

lol like that not geng la deng when like dem late u cant absorb wan la deng but in the morning force kau urself read sure guarantee absorb wan n sure niama last wan what you read

See? Not geng la DENG.

Lame Joke #1

Seeyau: Brian... you know indians right, they like to talk alot.
Brian: Yeah...
Seeyau: So why? Why do indians talk alot?
Brian: Why?
Seeyau: Cause the stop button is here. (O*O)
Brian: OMG LOL! (>.<)

And everyone is like wtf brian it is not that funny why are you laughing so hard?

Lame Joke #2

Seeyau: Here's another one.
Brian: Okay.
Seeyau: Why do indians keep shaking like this?
Jun Ian: Same answer?
Seeyau: The stop button is here. (O*O)
Brian: LMAO! (>.<)

And everyone looks at brian like how can you laugh at the same thing twice it is not funny.

Lame Joke #3

Wilkin: Here's my joke. Once upon a time... OH LI-WEN WAS BORN! HAHAHA! (^o^)
Brian: WTF LIEK ROFL! (^o^)

5P joke. It's not as bad as it sounds, just one of those 'had to be there' things.

Heroes is awesome.

Episodes 16 and 17 have been just... wow. How does the show keep on getting better? I'm going to dedicate a post to it one day. Don't ask me when. When I have enough stuff to do it justice.

Last week I thought Unexpected was the best hour of television ever produced, they topped it in just one week with the Company Man. Which is a work of breathtaking cinematic genius and my favorite episode of Heroes so far.

Lately, I feel like I'm blogging for all the wrong reasons. News about skull toasters and grafitti lasers is probably what the internet was made for, but blogging should probably be a bit more personal. More in the realm of reflection and personal experience, and since I got back into blogging in late January I don't think I've done much to fill that quota.

I miss my old class more than I'll ever admit. I remember the brash promise I made, at the start of the year, to not look back and even that I might find a way to change the people I was now with. I may be forced to break that vow. I never had any delusions that it would be easy to change an entire class, but maybe it just can't be done. Maybe it doesn't have to be. I'm starting to see that the class works fine as it is. It's different, no doubt. But it's diversity that gives life flavor.

School life is fleeting, and over before you can fully grasp at what it means to you.

No one sees it coming, but life sneaks up on you. When you measure time in events, and ignore the spaces in between, a whole year could pass in the blink of an eye.

In January I knew it was my last year, and I had to make it count somehow. I dreamed up a list of things I could do to make it special. But everything was new and life was hectic and the month slipped away.

At the start of February, I counted down the days to the Jogathon. When the Jogathon was over, I counted down the days to Valentine's. And when that was over suddenly it was the middle of February, and Chinese New Year was silent this year.

Now the exams are knocking, and the holidays will follow. Sport practice lasts for a month, then April brings Sports Day, the visit by the Hearts and my birthday. May marks the academic calendar with forty hours of examinations, and the spaces in between are filled with club projects, extra classes and concert practice.

I can't help but look forward to the concert. But it is the time spent practicing for it that I enjoy more. The concert is in July, well into the second half of the school year. Then revision, trials, the finals themselves, and school is over forever.

Prom might be the last time some of us ever see each other. And then what thoughts would go unspoken, what tales would fade unwritten, what dreams would die unfulfilled?

Where would I be then? Where would we all be? Only the future holds the answers we seek. If you could see yourself in five, ten, or fifty years, what would you see? Would it move you to challenge the call of destiny as it reaches out or would you simply be content to lie still as the rushing tides speed you towards your fate?

If you look always to the horizon, you miss the miracle of life as it happens around you. I am content to wait, and let tomorrow bring what it may. And if we live each moment as it were truly our last, maybe we wouldn't mind so much when it finally is.

Credit: All graphs and charts were inspired by genius blog indexed.

In Which Several Things Happen

Dutch grafitti writers have found a way to tag a building from miles off. With a JEEP MOUNTED LASER. If you do not find having the means to carve your initials into each of the Twin Towers while drunk extremly exciting, there is something seriously wrong with you. Something seriously wrong that might be fixed perhaps by splitting an atom.

It's called a GRL L.A.S.E.R. Tagging System and there is a website with video so you can catch it in action and find out how it works.

This has to be one of the coolest things ever invented. If you didn't really understand what I said, this new laser has the ability to write I LOVE MY IBU into the side of the school from the safe side of the fence, assuming you ever wanted to do such a thing. There should be an award or something to celebrate this level of innovation.

(video link)

Zhi Mei: You went to see Lillian Too's house madam?

Moses: Not exactly, she has some show houses on display. But she was there.
Jun Ian: Madam, did you meet her sister, Lillian One?
Moses: No, I don't think she has a sister. But I did see her daughter, Lilian Three.

Brian also made a joke about Donkey Kong but it was kinda WTF.

This is a picture of Nathan, Ghost Rider.

There's a really good story behind this picture. Nathan, a cheap lighter and Ghost Rider walk into a bar.

Actually, the story is nothing like that. In Nathan's own words, he was making fireballs with a lighter in his room. If you don't know how a fireball is made, there are a few simple steps.

1. Close one hand so air can be trapped inside. Your closed hand should have one small opening.
2. Use a standard lighter (Zippos will not work here) to release gas into your closed hand through the small opening.
3. Let the gas from the lighter fill your hand for any amount of time between 20 seconds and (if you think you're really hardcore enough) 5 minutes.
4. When you feel that enough gas has been released, flick the lighter into your closed hand. At this point you can either open your hand quickly or keep it closed.

This creates a fireball effect. After writing that procedure I had a sudden rush of inspiration and spent ten minutes playing with fireballs in the dark.

Anyway, back to Nathan. He made a fireball with about 5-10 minutes of gas and it engulfed his whole hand. Human skin has a burn time of about 2 seconds (can't remember who told me this) so his hand was undamaged.

This is a high speed photograph of a lightbulb burning out. I'm no photographer, but it was taken with skill. Many other pictures of smoke can be found at this blog. I swear, smoke never looked this good.

(photo blog)

Then he decided to try and spit fire with his mouth. Upwards. This works in pretty much the same way a fireball does, only you have to be really careful not to swallow the gas from the lighter, because it is bad for your lungs. And normally people don't spit fire upwards, because it is potentially bad for your hair, your nose and the hair in your nose.

Rozita: Lee Zhien, boleh songsangkan ayat 'sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta'?
Lee Zhien: Lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta... sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan?
Jun Ian: Oh my God. (O.o)
Sharlene: I know, it's just the complete opposite! (^o^)
Guan Xiong: Madam, macam mana boleh? Tak ada maksud langsung la!
Rozita: Itulah cara songsangkan ayat.
Guan Xiong: Tapi tak ada maksud lagi la madam! Macam... Xiong Wong Guan! Tak ada maksud!

Nathan sucked gas for about 3 minutes then spat fire in a general, upwards direction. He missed his intended target (empty space) and set his fringe alight with a warm glow and the stench of hair burning. If you have never smelt hair burning before, take my word for it - it's far from aromatherapic. It is a target for crows.

Forgetting he had a washroom in his own room, Nathan ran down the stairs where his brother was... presumably having lunch or something. Whatever he was doing, he had a pot of curry in his hands, which he promptly used to douse the fire burning like a fever on Nathan's head. Reports indicate that the curry "was hot, and hurt more than the fire did".

101 Ways To Beat Artist's Block

Dani from Dani Draws has compiled a nice list of 101 ideas for illustrators needing a creative spark. It's really cool to read through if you find it relevant to you, and even if you don't.

1. Make a book cover for your favorite classic novel.
2. Create a series of illustrations that show the passage of time.
3. Illustrate a song.
4. Make a narrative advertisement for a soft drink.
5. Illustrate your favorite childhood memory.
6. Make a children’s book spread for a fairy tale.
7. Illustrate the four seasons.
8. Why did the chicken cross the road?
9. Make a series of black and white “chapter” drawings for a novel.
10. Retell a short story in graphic form.

(the full list)

The following was written at 8:24:15 in Chemistry Lab.

Wow, amazing. And I thought chapel was empty this morning. There's only 13 people what came to class today. Our own personal Last Supper. The other classes seem to have a more normal attendance rate, but there's a physics class next door with only two guys sitting in. I don't know, whichever class Joel is in. It's not physically possible that only two people came to class right? Maybe the others are just... slow or something. That's got to be it. 17 absentees in 5W today. My name isn't Jack Bauer, but this could be the longest day of my life.

To pass the time I will write a remake of the song American Pie. I will start with the chorus, and make a list of song words that rhyme with pie.

rye, die, dry, guy, bye, fry, sly, tie,
fly, buy, aye, ally, bi, cry, eye, hi, my,
high, nigh, why, pry, dye, shy, psi, try,
spy, sk, by, spry, ennui, Lexii, Jedi, Jamiroquai.

Well, I haven't got very far with my remake. But if you get the chance you should listen to the song American Pie, if you haven't already. It is eight minutes long, but it is nice.

I could make a song about the man who mistook a porn DVD for a woman's cries for help and rushed into his neighbour's apartment with a sword.

Would-be hero James Van Iveren. Poor guy. Arrested and all he wanted to do was help. With a sword and an attitude befitting Chuck Norris.

Real life. Stranger than fiction.

Black Day

Update your science textbooks! The new radiation logo now features a trefoil, a skull and crossbones and a man running away. Just in case you don't quite get the idea.

(IAEA link)

There is now a special kind of toaster that makes skull bread.

Just because there's a little skull on it doesn't mean it is unfit for consumption!

It seems the Valentine's Day epic isn't quite done yet.

February 14th - Valentine's Day
February 15th - Single's Awareness Day (S.A.D.)
March 14th - Marshmallow Day/White Day
April 14th - BLACK DAY

Get this... Black Day is a day when single people to get together and eat noodles with black bean sauce in South Korea.

The idea is that those who didn't give or receive gifts on Valentine's Day or White Day, can get together and eat Jjajangmyeon; Korean noodles with black bean sauce to commiserate their singledom.

(wiki link)

Unbelieveable. Can you imagine what they must be saying about you?

Oh you poor thing, you haven't got a Valentine! I guess you could always celebrate Singles Awareness Day. No time to get the friends together? Well, don't you worry, we'll give you an extension. In one month you can celebrate White Day! With marshmallows! Still single then? Well there's always Black Day. And if you still can't find any friends or partners to celebrate that with, I guess you've got Mother's Day in May. I bet your mom think you're cool. And if you can't celebrate that either you can go jump off a bridge.

Kidding... just be grateful you didn't wind up like this guy.

Woman Ties Up Valentine, Drinks His Blood

FORT WORTH, Texas - An Arizona woman is under arrest, accused of tying up her lover on Valentine's Day in order to drink his blood. This woman, 23-year-old Tiffany Sutton allegedly tricked her 43-year-old victim with an offer of kinky sex.

So she tied this guy up, cut his leg and drank from it. When he managed to escape from his bonds and run away, she chased after him with a pickax. Crazy!

(nbc link)

Oh, and this is pretty big news for all the gamers and downloaders out there. Still, I'm about a week late with the news so if you're really one with the geek that shall inherit the earth you should already know this.

Hackers discover HD DVD and Blu-ray "processing key" - all HD titles now exposed

I'm guessing what this means is that we're gonna start seeing some fake PS3 games on the market before long. Not that there's gonna be anyone with the means to play them... The PS3s on the shelves of mall have just been sitting there.

This is pretty cool but... 20GB HD movies would still take forever to download. And even a blank HD-DVD or Blu-ray would cost about... well it would cost alot. I don't know, it's not really my thing.

And about the rat thing... it's kinda dead. And it happened when I wasn't home too so bummer.

kengyee: i had rats too, until they all died
[F.G.R.S.]: ...
kengyee: the rats were chewing on the pipes in my house, so there was a leak
kengyee: we left poison bait
kengyee: they died, all of them
[F.G.R.S.]: now why cant we do that?
kengyee: because, it is disgusting
kengyee: these people carried a cage with three rats out.
kengyee: and to make sure they died, they poured boiling hot water on the rats.
kengyee: it was.. wrong

I do have a ton of video of my brother and I chasing around the storeroom for it, but there's only two shots of the rat and like... hours and hours of video to filter, cause we left the camera on the whole time. There's also a lot of video where we just talk to the camera and say things like "the Jews have shifted shape".

I refuse to load that much video onto this computer (it's already jammed up with Heroes) so instead, help yourselves to some more rat stories.

Ÿi Hüi: hey, my house used 2 has rats
Ÿi Hüi: dey bites d tupperware...so annoyin
Ÿi Hüi: everyone was scared...and d rat-catcher man put nice food at each corner...
Ÿi Hüi: its useless anyway
Ÿi Hüi: do u noe wad...catch it urselves!! i mean go buy a...cage dat catches rats and put a cheese inside it and within a day...the rat will be catched
Ÿi Hüi: that's wad we did
[F.G.R.S.]: haha
[F.G.R.S.]: i think its still in the room
[F.G.R.S.]: o.O
Ÿi Hüi: den we go throw it away...let it go i mean
Ÿi Hüi: use my way lar
Ÿi Hüi: its really useful...4 me
Ÿi Hüi: u put d cage where d rats are
Ÿi Hüi: den u must go away...den dey will go inside and it will be trapped
Ÿi Hüi: den dun kill it...just let it go...2 d drain or anywhere...mayb d SCHOOL!!!!
Ÿi Hüi: nyahahaha

Well it's too late for that now. I wouldn't expose the school to rabies anyway. If I ever do carry out #7 (release animals) it would be chickens or something.

My sister told me a story where Julia killed a small rat by pouring cold water on it.

Jamin: Yeah, she likes to pour things onto other things. Her maid found this baby rat on the floor, in the corner, and Julia just had a glass of water in her hand at the time so she poured it on the rat. And the rat didn't move so she went to take a shower.
Jun Ian: She went to take a shower and when she came back the rat was dead?
Jamin: Yeah. She says...
Jun Ian: I think she just kicked it with her dancing leg and made that story up.
Jamin: ...At the Jogathon, we found a bug in the grass. Julia just snatched the 100 Plus out of my hand and poured it onto the bug.

Talk about coincidence... our girl Julia and her dancing leg are on AEC right now. My sister's watching, she recorded the show and the dance and I'm like WTF.

Valentines And Marshmallows

He said: Shortest date ever.
She said: Don't I get a kiss?

And she nudged him.

He said: From me?
She said: Yeah la!
He said: Thought you said you wouldn't kiss me.
She said: But you will.

And he laughed.

She said: I won't touch you.
He said: Yeah. Ouch.
She said: But my skin is nice.
He said: Hope so.
She said: Kiss me.

And she nudged him, so he kissed her.

She said: So lame!

And she laughed.

He said: Then what?

And he leaned in and planted a deep, passionate kiss.

He said: How was that?
She said: Yucky.
He said: Guess you'll have to show me a better one then.
She said: Whatever.

So yesterday was Wednesday. For some people it was Valentine's Day, Friendship Day or Single Awareness Day. For the rest of us, Wednesday as usual. Just a little bit weirder and a little bit more depressing.

Don't worry friends! There's always Marshmallow Day!

You should already know what Marshmallow Day is. It is on the 14th of March and is more commonly known as White Day. It is like the evil conjoined twin of Valentine's Day who was surgically removed at birth and kept locked away in the attic.

There is an actual candy blog that reviews marshmallows and that kind of thing. Go check it out, if that is your kind of thing.

But the very sound of Marshmallow Day implies a greater chance for enjoyment than Valentine's Day so... their parents must have gotten it wrong! Valentine's Day is the evil twin that should be hidden from the world and fed buckets of fish once a week!

If I said I didn't have anything against Valentine's Day would you believe me?

Anyway, those of us who found Valentine's Day somewhat unfulfilling will inevitably gather on Marshmallow Day through a process not unlike osmosis.

I plan to bake a marshmallow the size of a small dog for Marshmallow Day, and maybe have a party. Is Marshmallow Day a holiday? Otherwise I would like to propose a marshmallow sale! Where marshmallows of different sizes, shapes and flavors would be sold. Maybe we could craft a suit of marshmallow armor. Or a marshmallow gun... but they already have those. Buy a marshmallow shooter this Marshmallow Day!

According to the site it can fire "single or multiple shots of mini marshmallows or foam balls at anything or anyone you please". That sounds pretty damn sweet!

Marshmallow war! The earth shall be as a giant marshmallow in flames.

MARSHMALLOW RECIPE - For making your own marshmallow in any shape or size!

Go forth and let there be marshmallows.

Just... please don't OD on marshmallows playing Chubby Bunny or something okay? Two people have died playing that game.

I never thought that rats and marshmallows would ever go in the same post. Ever. So that will be in the next post. I saw the rat! I took a video!

Next... on Pandamomium!

We Have A Rat

Jogathon donation meter: RM 13,000 and something. The Jogathon was on Saturday.

In my opinion it went pretty well.

But maybe my opinion doesn't count since I'm biased.

You know how some houses have rats, and you would never know if your house had a rat until you either saw it running around at night doing rat-like activities or else it left some kind of sign of rat-like activities. Like eating some cake left on the table or leaving little rat-footprints in the bread.

I found this behind the fridge of my house. What does it mean?

Do we have rats?

I would hate to have rats.

Maybe they're not rats but Jews.

Borat: The Jews have shifted shape!
Azamat: Throw money at them!
Borat: How much should I give them?
Azamat: More, more! Run!

So either the Jews have shifted shape behind my washing machine and are somewhere in the ground floor of my house, or I have rats. Am I safe upstairs? Can rats climb stairs? Can Jews?



I am aware of the fact that the word Jews looks like the word Jesus. Is that the reason why people are racist towards them? So many people are racist towards Jews they're not even called racists anymore. There's a new word for it. Anti-semitic.

You know people hate you when they have to make up a new word for those people. It's like there was a club, and then someone decided to give the club a name.

How about a new club? For people who make fun of Ming Yi? We could call it Everybody Else.

Just messing.

Dexter: I dare you to ask Mdm Moses whether she can part the red sea.
Jun Ian: You know what she once told us? We were reading The Pearl, and she said, and that's how pearls are made. But not me. I was made in the normal way.
Daniel: That's so lame! Did anyone laugh?
Jun Ian: Yeah, sorta...
Daniel: But that's so lame!
Azfar: Ask her if she can part the red sea to find a pearl!

As it turns out, we do have rats. Or at least one.

The exterminator people came over and said there was a rat and it was in the storeroom. But they couldn't get to it to exterminate it because there was too much stuff and they couldn't move it out of the way without the rat escaping through the door.

Since when was a rat faster than a man? Is it because they have two more legs? Is it the tail? Why not have one guy watch the door and get the rat when it tries to make its sweet escape?

The exterminator's plan explained.

Exterminator: We can't catch the rat. There's too many things in that room and if we try to move it, the rat could escape and disappear into the house. Rats are too fast for us.
Me: How can a rat be faster than all seven of us? What are you going to do then?
Exterminator: We're going to leave some bait for the rat.
Me: The rat has already eaten some of the bait you left for it before, right? Why isn't it dead yet?
Exterminator: It's not poison. It's rat food.
Me: Not poison? Are we starting a colony then?
Exterminator: See, the rat food will make it thirsty. So the rat will leave its hiding place to look for water.
Me: And it would go where?

What good are you as exterminators if you can't catch one lousy rat?

The plan of attack for the rat. Just nail it with a six-iron or something!

Exterminator: The idea is that the rat would leave your house to find water. So the rat won't have to die inside the house.
Me: So your plan is to make the rat leave the house in search of water and have it die of old age? What's to stop it from coming back after it gets the water?
Exterminator: There's a slow poison in the food that acts after 2 or 3 days.
Me: Why wait? Why not kill it outright? The rat could go anywhere in that time.
Exterminator: There is an alternative. Lock the door to the room, and call us when you smell something and you know the rat is dead.

That's so dang brilliant. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of Man Vs Rat.

Tomorrow: The Hallmark Holiday!

In Which Suat And I Buy Lots of Stuff

Wye Ping: Sarah and Daniel! You look like such a cute couple!
Daniel: Er...
Wye Ping: You two look good together!
Clarissa: You know who looks good together as a couple? Jun Ian and Daniel!
Jun Ian: What?
Sarah: Oh yeah! Remember...
Clarissa: One time we saw these two gay guys and they looked JUST LIKE -
Jun Ian: Yeah, you told me.

I blogged about that once.

Jun Ian: So which one of us is the guy?
Clarissa: You la!
Jun Ian: That's the way! See? I'm the guy here, Daniel.
Daniel: Of course la - no wait, that's not right!
Jun Ian: As it turns out, in this relationship... I'm the man.
Komala: Obviously... SISTER!

New word for today!

CHRISDDHISM

A cocktail mixture of Christianity and Buddhism. For the casual chapel-going student who isn't really Christian! There are a lot of Buddhists in chapel these days. Free thinkers too. No one knows whether we actually outnumber the real Christians or not. But I think we do.

Christian Fellowship (CF) is held every Wednesday at the chapel during lunch break. There are a lot of Christians who don't even go for that, but again... the Buddhists are there to fill in the spaces.

Usually we play games and stuff but today, we learned how to sing the new testament.

The first four are Mark, Matthew, James and Luke. I got the order mixed up. Something about Romans and then... some stuff and then... two Timothys, Titus and it ends with Jude and Revelations. There are like twenty seven books or something.

Yeah, I don't really remember too well. It was worth it to watch Mrs Peters sing, though. Hari gave her a hug today. That was cool, but nothing will ever beat the memory of Mark dancing with Norashima on Teacher's Day two years ago. Anyone remember that?

Blame Liwen for the whole Christian-Buddhist thing. He started the entire movement last year.

Dexter: And then, through some freak accident, David pushed Goliath out the window of the children's hospital. Goliath fell many stories and died. This proved that David was indeed the chosen one, not Neo.
En Yaw: This... this is blasphemy man!

Good old blasphemy. We even got Dass to come along once.

Mrs Peters: What are YOU doing here?

Did you know that if we bring a Muslim to chapel, we're effectively trying to convert him and we could all go to jail?

Yeah... that's our Islamic law.

Yan Por: And this is what a AIDS cell looks like. Since it's so small, I'm going to draw it on the board. Something like this...
Kiat Jin: Yan Por, permanent marker!
Yan Por: HAAH???

My sister is a librarian! I am like SO PROUD.

Tuesday's News
(Some pictures were removed cause they were taking up space)

I feel sick and tired and I'm still blogging this...

Dunno why I'm doing it also.

But we bought so much STUFF.

That's about a thousand bucks worth of branded stuff.

I feel so sick. I just had my second shower in like... SIXTEEN HOURS.

The two of us were in KLCC until 9.45 or something. It's a school night!

I can't tell you exactly who gets what because Suatz took the list of prizes home.

The football.

First place gets the iPod shuffle. Now we have TWO.

I just found out that I can actually hang from the hoop in the basketball court... now that there's an extra layer there.

How To Throw A Party

Blogger's Note: I was sick tired the whole day. I slept for three hours in the afternoon then I went online to blog this. It was a pretty bad idea to go on MSN since I couldn't think straight enough to even hold a conversation at the time, all the way up to dinner and even after dinner I felt like sleeping again.

Nescafe 3 in 1 + cadbury hot chocolate + cold milk = solved that problem

Should have thought of it earlier.

Step One

Decide where you want to have your party. An ideal location would be a house on top of a hill where it's windy all the time, especially at night.

If the house is a mansion which can be seen from any point in the surrounding countryside, even better.

Brian: Is that her house? How can we even see her house from here? It's like... dominating the whole mountain.

Step Two

Decide what you want your guests to do at your party. If the house has its own basketball court, outdoor tub, karaoke room, playstation and plasma TV you're pretty much settled.

Just make sure you have guests who can sing, and not act out chinese soap dramas on the mic instead.

Jason: Dim kai... DIM KAI!?!?
Jon: Why did Suat Lay install a torture room in her house?

Still, you might wanna invite a DJ or two along... just so someone can keep an eye on the music while you're having fun. A good choice might be someone you've had along on previous occasions... so they know what you like.

Jun Ian: Is that a sauna? It looks like a sauna. That had better not be a sauna.
Wai Khuin: Checking... it's a closet.
Jun Ian: If she had a sauna in her own house that would have been too much.

Step Three

Decide on all the elements of your party. What kind of food are you going to serve? What kind of music are the DJs going to play? Do you have a grand piano for the music purists? How many decks of cards are you going to provide? Is Liverpool playing Everton that night?

Tip: No-outs-street-style-basketball is a pretty cool game. Even when you can't actually play bastketball it's fun to be caught up in the insanity.

Jason: Grand piano, huh Rufus?
Rufus: I haven't touched it yet. I'm... resisting the temptation.

If you want the people to dance, make sure the floor is right and the music is good. Make sure you know what tunes your crowd likes, and make sure those tunes are played.

It's My Life, Satisfaction, Everytime We Touch, Tokyo Drift, Beep, Sexy Back, YMCA, Shake Ya Tailfeather, Dragostea Din Tei and Pump It are good choices.

Still, sometimes you have to make sure the DJ updates his list with songs that were released sometime during the last year, and not play Good Charlotte or Linkin Park for no good reason.

George Michael's Never Gonna Dance Again was also completely uncalled for.

More than one person: What the fu-

When allowing your guests to watch a game, make sure the room is properly divided into two halves. Allow the Liverpool supporters to sit on one side and the non-Liverpool supporters on the other.

Do not let the one guy with the Liverpool jersey sit in the middle of all the non-Liverpool supporters. It's bad karma.

Jenq Yan: All Everton this side... Liverpool over there.
Jun Ian: What about him?
Jenq Yan: Traitor.

I have to go OOC for awhile and describe what it was like to watch the game in that house on that TV with those people.

It was electric.

Like I mentioned, the room was split in half except for Jing Hang, snug in the midst of the people who didn't support Liverpool or Everton, but didn't want to see Liverpool win anyway.

The TV was in a room that was practically all balcony with a roof. The wind was blowing in from all sides and it was almost like we were in Genting or something. Only not so cold.

Anyone who actually watched the match would have known how Everton played something like 1-0-9, and how many times Liverpool almost, almost scored.

Wai Khuin watched the game from Suat's grandfather's chair in deep concentration, not making a sound the entire 90 minutes.

Jenq Yan: FLOWER!

For those of you who were not there, he meant Robbie Fowler.

Step Four

If the party is a birthday celebration, insist on following the tradition of pulling one candle out of the cake with one's mouth.

You are encouraged to push only slightly so that the tip of the nose and maybe the chin goes into the cake instead of just wasting the whole thing and covering the newly-turned seventeen year old's face with icing.

Happy Birthday Suat Lay!

In Which My Blog Receives An Accolade

accolade (noun)
1. a. An expression of approval; praise.
b. A special acknowledgment; an award.

Pandamomium just won the Blog of the Month award for February over at Rantings.

My award.

It feels a bit undeserving to win since my blog's only been active for like... nine days.

I guess all that stuff I did last year counts for something.

Eh, I just won a blog award and I have nothing to blog about.

I guess I could blog about how I have nothing to blog about.

But that's not really my... thing.

If you're reading this Joey, get a cbox. The same goes for all you xanga punks.

Lesson #1: Politics suck.

There were a couple of problems between the prefects and the club this week.

Major problems. Really bad things. Some of you noticed, but I don't think I should be telling you any more than that.

Just know that there were politics involved, and it was very sucky.

But it's all better now. I guess.

Wesley Methodist s05.e02 - The Jogathon

I'm just gonna say this once... response has been pretty good so far, especially from the form threes but we need more people from all forms.

Except form ones and twos. Cause you guys are, yknow, underage.

I did not make that decision. The school says you're too young to run!

Click to enlarge.

See? It's a good deal.

By the way, I brought four of those posters to school. During the lower sec lunch, two went missing.

Does anyone know who has them? I don't really need them but I would like to know what happened to them.

If you haven't already signed up, it would be a really good thing to go to school on monday and do so. There are like 3 prizes each for forms three, four and five, guys and girls in seperate categories so that's like... 18 prizes plus treasure hunt prizes plus lucky draw prizes...

Basically we have a lot of stuff to give away.

The iPod shuffle is... undeniably sexy.

Larger than actual size.

Just try and deny how sexy it is. You can't do it.

You get this shirt when you sign up. I think it turned out pretty well.

...

Alright, I don't actually have anything to blog about.

In Which A Life Is Saved

Related update: new artwork.

As usual, click to enlarge.

Done in two hours. Won't do colours for this one. Looks alot like last year's work right? I hate last year's work.

I wrote this in school today.

I'm in double physics right now. All the windows are shut and you wouldn't believe what's happening outside. There's a real life drama unfolding on the roof of the school next door.

On the roof of MBS there is a man. He's been sitting there for... what? More than an hour now. None of us know who he is or how he got there. We all think he's a jumper. The police and the fire brigade are here, they've been around for some time but they haven't done much.

He doesn't look like a student. Some of us think he could be a teacher, or a janitor.

Half the school is watching this. The other half probably wishes they could.

This morning, when the teachers were having their meeting, I went to 5M and I found some people standing at the window, looking out at the other school. There was a man sitting on the roof. Sarah got a message from Karen. She ran out to the stairwell with Wye Peng. I followed them and Suat behind me. We watched the activity for a while, but nothing really happened. Sarah took some pictures with her phone.

We went back to class after awhile. Then the firemen started to spray water at him in powerful jets. I don't know what they were hoping to achieve, but he almost slipped once or twice. Maybe they had a net ready, but it didn't seem like a really smart thing to do.

There's a shout from outside. Siva can't control the class. The windows are all open and we're watching intently. There's a cop on the roof, talking to the man. All of MBS is gathered outside to watch. The firemen have surrounded the man with a loose circle of ropes and ladders. There isn't enough to catch him if he jumps or falls. The firemen are slowing closing in on him even as the cop inches closer, trying to get him to talk and offering him a smoke.

The atmosphere is electric. No one can look away. Even Siva's given up on teaching. He's standing at the windows with the rest of us. The policeman's reached the jumper, who finally stopped moving away from him. He's smoking and the cop is talking to him. They're real close. Nothing's happened in a while. People are starting to get bored, they're moving away...

There are two firemen on the roof. They're moving towards him. Now they're putting a safety line around him. It looks ominously almost like a noose. The assembled crowd is clapping and shouting. The four of them are sitting together. They're fastening the rope onto him. There's a lot of movement... is he struggling? He's moving towards the ladder. The cop is holding tight to him. Too bad all our phones are with the teachers.

They got him on the ladder and he's coming down slowly. There's a lot of noise from the MBS side. He's reached the first floor safely. The crowds disperse.

It's all over.

The cops took him away in a squad car. We still don't know who he was, or why he was there. But there's been a lot of speculation.

Guan Xiong: Kumaran your father on the roof!

Not so much speculation as mean-spirited humor then. There was a certain detachment in the way we watched the man as his life dangled on the line.

Kind of like the way you'd watch American Idol. You know the contestants are all real people but at that moment, when you're safe at home and they're out there throwing their dignity to the dogs, they seem like a completely different species.

There's a small, mean part of you that wants to see them burn.

So it was with the man on the roof. Personally I've got no ambition to watch a man die, but there were people shouting at him to jump.

You all know what I'm talking about.

And I don't really have any to blog about right now. I'll say some stuff about the dances and all in abit.

In Which Actual Blogging Begins

Mrs Matthews: I don't think I can allow you to sell roses anymore.
Boon Guan: Why not? We've always sold them for friendship day in previous years.
Mrs Matthews: Because what happens is a girl will give a rose to another girl. And the two girls will hug.

I'm not making that up. She actually said that. That's the reason why we can't sell roses in school. Not boy-girl relationships, but because apparently, Wesley Methodist hates fags.

If I can pull it off I plan to organize mass gay huggings outside the office or wherever on valentine's day/friendship day. And, if the masses are willing... why stop at hugging?

Imagine... the whole school standing in the basketball court, paired up guy to guy and girl to girl, holding hands, dry humping and snogging in the most blatant display of homosexuality this school has ever seen since the YMCA.

We could make a movie. And call it like...V for Valentine.

They will remember the 14th of February.

It's been almost a month since Christmas, time to show everyone what I've been up to.

No it's nothing bad...

#1: Made christmas card for Australian adopted family. See, it is very good to be a member of my adopted family. Actually, they adopted me but DETAILS.

This is the link to the non-animated version if anyone's interested.

Maria says Stefan isn't coming over this April. Meaning I'm gonna get someone else to host. Cause I'll be hosting for sure. Unlike certain people who are 'too busy' to extend the same courtesy they received back in July... was it July? I've got no memory for dates at all...

See, I remember that my own birthday is on the 2nd of April, and that Jun Yu and Wei Li have the same birthday as me. And Shannon Matthews was born on the 1st of April, one day before.

My sister's birthday is in April, 17-18-19-ish. My father and my brother, in December. My mother in May-June-July-ish.

Wen Juin's birthday is in June, Bio's birthday is the day after 9/11, so I remember that. Ding Wei sometime in February, Yow Hwui in January, Jenq Yan last Friday, Suat Lay today.

Some Korean guy called Hero also had his birthday on Friday. I know because they wrote in on the whiteboard under 'happening things', next to 'Rain is coming'.

Should be here by now.

And there was one day in January where Karen and Rachel Lee had the same birthday, but I can't remember what day it is anymore. And it was just last month. No wait, it was this month. SEE? I TOLD YOU.

#2: Found snowman outside mall in Beijing. I did not make the snowman. I when I found him, he was already made. By who, I don't know. Do hobos make snowmen? Are there even hobos in China?

Hobo-licious - definition: person who is homeless.

It's not a very good picture, and I don't know what I was looking at. But it gets the point across. There was a snowman, and I was there.

There are many more pictures of snow and stuff that I could show you, but if you wanna see that you'll have to wait. Maybe wait for a long time. I don't know.

Brian: Bang, mana saya punya? Kenapa makanan lambat sangat bang?
Waiter: Saya bagi you dalam dua jam boleh. Kamu semua siap saja saya bawa dia punya okay?
Brian: Tak lucu la bang. Sangat tidak lucu.
Waiter: Dua jam la, you tunggu.
Brian: Mana boleh la?
Waiter: Okay la, saya pergi sekejap. Jangan nak nangis la okay?
Brian: What the... He stole my line wei!
Waiter: Don't cry okay?

The waiter pats Brian on the shoulder.

Brian: Kenapa you sentuh saya? Saya bayar kamu sentuh saya ke? Apabila saya nak kamu sentuh saya saya bagitahu okay?
Brian: Hey bang... ada makanan di situ la.

Brian points near the waiter's mouth. There is a mole there. The waiter feels for it then realises he's being had. He takes a swipe at Brian. Brian ducks and shows off his T shirt.

Brian: Tengok ini, ini kamu punya. Ini saya punya.
Waiter: Bukanlah... ini saya punya. Itu baru kamu punya.
Brian: Macam ni la wei... Ini saya punya. Ini you.

Brian points to the empty space on his shirt.

Brian: You tak ada.

The waiter laughs and heads back to the kitchen.

Kevin: He is totally spitting in your food right now.

#3: Made snowball. The video will show you the way.

You have no idea how much I want some ice cream right now.

News: I'll be getting a shoutbox soon. Maybe before the next update.

It's Not Blackmail If I Go Public With It

Maybe the best thing you'll ever see on YouTube all year.

Sanjay.

Mark.

Jon.


Special thanks to Eugene for digging up this old video!

Special thanks to Kengyee for helping out with the background!

Release Animals

Daniel: So you're having a sketch? And Marcus is God?
Marcus: That's right.
Daniel: How can Marcus be God? God isn't that ugly.
Marcus: Hey, watch it. God never looked this good! *turns away and prays* Sorry, sorry...

Here we go again.

Okay it's like two thousand seven now, and this is my first post of the year and also my first post in a long, long time. One year ago...

Note: These words here are like SO OLD they are like une year old. I did say that already though didn't I?

At the urging of those who said I should, and in defiance of those who didn't, I have created a blog.

So this, right here is my first post. It is also the first day of the new year. To commemorate this occasion of dubious significance, you might expect a celebration of some sort, an inspiring mission statement of my broader objectives, or at least a few words. Well, no. That is, there will be no instances of merrymaking, nor will there be commandments, but of words, there will be plenty. This whole New Year deal, are you supposed to somehow know when it happens? I actually feel slightly different, but it's not like anything special has happened. Sure, today was a busy day, what else is new?

Maybe you understood that block of text there. Maybe you got lazy halfway through. What it means is that I thought the first post of the first day of the new year was special in some way.

Keng Yee: I read your blog once. Didn't understand a word.

I don't feel the same way about this post. I already tried blogging a couple of times in the past few months, didn't really work out. I never got back into it.

The reason why I'm blogging now is cause there is something to bitch about, and now I'm going to use my powers of blogging for good instead of evil.

So, here's like... I dunno. I just had to post this.

I wanna say a few words about this whole concert thing.

The concert is in like June or July but they've already started planning stuff. They're sorting us into groups already. Their theme this year?

Dances From Around the World.

Wow. I mean, that's like fucking Shakespeare.

Seriously though. I heard this from my brother. (I don't know why I had to hear it from my brother) They're planning to have 31 dances.

Jun Ian: I can't believe they're having 31 dances.
Jun Shern: I could have misheard. It's either 31 or 21.
Jun Ian: There's a real big difference between 31 and 21.
Jun Shern: Maybe it was 21. But I remember Mdm Anne said 31. She's doing South... no North America. No wait, North India. South India! She's South Indian. That's either the dance she's in charge of or the part of India where she's from.
Jun Ian: ... I don't trust your memory anymore. So which part of India is bhangra from? North, South, Central or Calcutta?

- African (Brian and Wilkin)
- Indian (Sarah, all girls from Grease, Daniel and I)
- Bhangra (Deepaq)
- 28 other dances, out of which at least 20 are going to suck.

Sanjay and Jon are actors now.

That's just... genius!

How can you have another indian dance when Deepaq's already doing bhangra? Even Bollywood wouldn't know what to do with that guy.

We're only allowed one dance too. That really hurts, guys.

Update:

-Vicky says its 21 or something like that. That's still alot.
- The form threes are doing Central America.
- Somehow my brother put his name in for African, but he's form one and I don't know how that's going to work out.
- Just found out: Hawaii, Brazil, Hungary, Italy, New York, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Spain are ON THE LIST. Are YOU on the list?

Nerdcore Rising PAX is so nerdy. It is SUPER NERD. I didnt know my heroes were so nerdy! Those nerds are just... NERDS. There is no other nerd for it. I mean, no other word.

I mean, that nerd just got down on his knees on stage and proposed to that other nerd! IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE NERDS. And they had their lightsabers out and stuff.

I like Star Wars too but...

Whatever.

Here's the video if you were interested in watching them nerds.

Presenting. NERDS.


I knew that the stereotype had to come from somewhere and... no offense to you nerd guys but seriously it is weird.

The End

Jun Ian: And I will always remember the brief period we spent as...
Jon: As gods.
Jun Ian: I... wouldn't go that far.
Jon: I would!

Those four lines probably sums up the month of August for me. The two greatest events of my young life have come and gone, and I'll forever hold those memories close.

The 2006 Broadway Extraordinaire.

And the trip to Sacred Heart College in Perth.

Of the two, the former is a greater landmark in the history books; more than a month of hard practice resulting in two stellar shows. I'll always remember the saturday night concert forever. And I felt for a while that nothing could top it.

Then came the six days we spent in the company of Sacred Heart.

Simply put, it was the best week of my life. Period. Six perfect days, from start to finish. I never felt sadder as I walked through the departure gate, and it meant more than I could ever put in words when we cried all the way to the plane.

A picture being worth a thousand words and all that, I'm just going to go light on words and heavy on pictures.

We saw many things both strange and wonderful.

It wasn't Superman.

But it was close.

The Hearts loved our dance, even though the music started too early and people were screwing up all over the stage.

The flashy costumes probably threw them for a bit though, and since the dances were all under a minute they probably never got past the initial shock.

Despite earlier misgivings, we beat the Hearts in futsal 7-4. We drew 3-3 in football though. We were losing 3-0 in the first half, then we switched players around. Azfar played for the Hearts in the second half. He conceded all six goals!

This is King's Park by night. The most wonderful place in the world if you go at the right time with the right people.

My last hour in Perth was spent frantically doing sketches for the Hearts.

This picture was taken minutes before the crying began. It was a happy time. Thank you all so much.