Showing posts with label moses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moses. Show all posts

Thursday, February 22, 2007

In Which Several Things Happen

Dutch grafitti writers have found a way to tag a building from miles off. With a JEEP MOUNTED LASER. If you do not find having the means to carve your initials into each of the Twin Towers while drunk extremly exciting, there is something seriously wrong with you. Something seriously wrong that might be fixed perhaps by splitting an atom.


It's called a GRL L.A.S.E.R. Tagging System and there is a website with video so you can catch it in action and find out how it works.

This has to be one of the coolest things ever invented. If you didn't really understand what I said, this new laser has the ability to write I LOVE MY IBU into the side of the school from the safe side of the fence, assuming you ever wanted to do such a thing. There should be an award or something to celebrate this level of innovation.


Zhi Mei: You went to see Lillian Too's house madam?
Moses: Not exactly, she has some show houses on display. But she was there.
Jun Ian: Madam, did you meet her sister, Lillian One?
Moses: No, I don't think she has a sister. But I did see her daughter, Lilian Three.

Brian also made a joke about Donkey Kong but it was kinda WTF.

This is a picture of Nathan, Ghost Rider.
There's a really good story behind this picture. Nathan, a cheap lighter and Ghost Rider walk into a bar.

Actually, the story is nothing like that. In Nathan's own words, he was making fireballs with a lighter in his room. If you don't know how a fireball is made, there are a few simple steps.

1. Close one hand so air can be trapped inside. Your closed hand should have one small opening.
2. Use a standard lighter (Zippos will not work here) to release gas into your closed hand through the small opening.

3. Let the gas from the lighter fill your hand for any amount of time between 20 seconds and (if you think you're really hardcore enough) 5 minutes.

4. When you feel that enough gas has been released, flick the lighter into your closed hand. At this point you can either open your hand quickly or keep it closed.


This creates a fireball effect. After writing that procedure I had a sudden rush of inspiration and spent ten minutes playing with fireballs in the dark.

Anyway, back to Nathan. He made a fireball with about 5-10 minutes of gas and it engulfed his whole hand. Human skin has a burn time of about 2 seconds (can't remember who told me this) so his hand was undamaged.

This is a high speed photograph of a lightbulb burning out. I'm no photographer, but it was taken with skill. Many other pictures of smoke can be found at this blog. I swear, smoke never looked this good.


Then he decided to try and spit fire with his mouth. Upwards. This works in pretty much the same way a fireball does, only you have to be really careful not to swallow the gas from the lighter, because it is bad for your lungs. And normally people don't spit fire upwards, because it is potentially bad for your hair, your nose and the hair in your nose.

Rozita: Lee Zhien, boleh songsangkan ayat 'sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta'?
Lee Zhien: Lebih selesa berkhidmat dengan sektor swasta... sebahagian daripada pegawai perubatan?
Jun Ian: Oh my God. (O.o)
Sharlene: I know, it's just the complete opposite! (^o^)
Guan Xiong: Madam, macam mana boleh? Tak ada maksud langsung la!
Rozita: Itulah cara songsangkan ayat.
Guan Xiong: Tapi tak ada maksud lagi la madam! Macam... Xiong Wong Guan! Tak ada maksud!

Nathan sucked gas for about 3 minutes then spat fire in a general, upwards direction. He missed his intended target (empty space) and set his fringe alight with a warm glow and the stench of hair burning. If you have never smelt hair burning before, take my word for it - it's far from aromatherapic. It is a target for crows.

Forgetting he had a washroom in his own room, Nathan ran down the stairs where his brother was... presumably having lunch or something. Whatever he was doing, he had a pot of curry in his hands, which he promptly used to douse the fire burning like a fever on Nathan's head. Reports indicate that the curry "was hot, and hurt more than the fire did".

101 Ways To Beat Artist's Block

Dani from Dani Draws has compiled a nice list of 101 ideas for illustrators needing a creative spark. It's really cool to read through if you find it relevant to you, and even if you don't.

1. Make a book cover for your favorite classic novel.
2. Create a series of illustrations that show the passage of time.

3. Illustrate a song.

4. Make a narrative advertisement for a soft drink.

5. Illustrate your favorite childhood memory.

6. Make a children’s book spread for a fairy tale.

7. Illustrate the four seasons.

8. Why did the chicken cross the road?

9. Make a series of black and white “chapter” drawings for a novel.

10. Retell a short story in graphic form.


(the full list)

The following was written at 8:24:15 in Chemistry Lab.

Wow, amazing. And I thought chapel was empty this morning. There's only 13 people what came to class today. Our own personal Last Supper. The other classes seem to have a more normal attendance rate, but there's a physics class next door with only two guys sitting in. I don't know, whichever class Joel is in. It's not physically possible that only two people came to class right? Maybe the others are just... slow or something. That's got to be it. 17 absentees in 5W today. My name isn't Jack Bauer, but this could be the longest day of my life.

To pass the time I will write a remake of the song American Pie. I will start with the chorus, and make a list of song words that rhyme with pie.

rye, die, dry, guy, bye, fry, sly, tie,
fly, buy, aye, ally, bi, cry, eye, hi, my,
high, nigh, why, pry, dye, shy, psi, try,
spy, sk, by, spry, ennui, Lexii, Jedi, Jamiroquai.

Well, I haven't got very far with my remake. But if you get the chance you should listen to the song American Pie, if you haven't already. It is eight minutes long, but it is nice.

I could make a song about the man who mistook a porn DVD for a woman's cries for help and rushed into his neighbour's apartment with a sword.


Would-be hero James Van Iveren. Poor guy. Arrested and all he wanted to do was help. With a sword and an attitude befitting Chuck Norris.

Real life. Stranger than fiction.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

We Have A Rat

Jogathon donation meter: RM 13,000 and something. The Jogathon was on Saturday.

In my opinion it went pretty well.

But maybe my opinion doesn't count since I'm biased.

You know how some houses have rats, and you would never know if your house had a rat until you either saw it running around at night doing rat-like activities or else it left some kind of sign of rat-like activities. Like eating some cake left on the table or leaving little rat-footprints in the bread.

I found this behind the fridge of my house. What does it mean?

Do we have rats?
I would hate to have rats.

Maybe they're not rats but Jews.

Borat: The Jews have shifted shape!
Azamat: Throw money at them!
Borat: How much should I give them?
Azamat: More, more! Run!

So either the Jews have shifted shape behind my washing machine and are somewhere in the ground floor of my house, or I have rats. Am I safe upstairs? Can rats climb stairs? Can Jews?



I am aware of the fact that the word Jews looks like the word Jesus. Is that the reason why people are racist towards them? So many people are racist towards Jews they're not even called racists anymore. There's a new word for it. Anti-semitic.

You know people hate you when they have to make up a new word for those people. It's like there was a club, and then someone decided to give the club a name.

How about a new club? For people who make fun of Ming Yi? We could call it
Everybody Else.

Just messing.

Dexter: I dare you to ask Mdm Moses whether she can part the red sea.
Jun Ian: You know what she once told us? We were reading The Pearl, and she said, and that's how pearls are made. But not me. I was made in the normal way.
Daniel: That's so lame! Did anyone laugh?
Jun Ian: Yeah, sorta...
Daniel: But that's so lame!
Azfar: Ask her if she can part the red sea to find a pearl!

As it turns out, we do have rats. Or at least one.

The exterminator people came over and said there was a rat and it was in the storeroom. But they couldn't get to it to exterminate it because there was too much stuff and they couldn't move it out of the way without the rat escaping through the door.

Since when was a rat faster than a man? Is it because they have two more legs? Is it the tail? Why not have one guy watch the door and get the rat when it tries to make its sweet escape?

The exterminator's plan explained.

Exterminator: We can't catch the rat. There's too many things in that room and if we try to move it, the rat could escape and disappear into the house. Rats are too fast for us.
Me: How can a rat be faster than all seven of us? What are you going to do then?
Exterminator: We're going to leave some bait for the rat.
Me: The rat has already eaten some of the bait you left for it before, right? Why isn't it dead yet?
Exterminator: It's not poison. It's rat food.
Me: Not poison? Are we starting a colony then?
Exterminator: See, the rat food will make it thirsty. So the rat will leave its hiding place to look for water.
Me: And it would go where?

What good are you as exterminators if you can't catch one lousy rat?
The plan of attack for the rat. Just nail it with a six-iron or something!

Exterminator: The idea is that the rat would leave your house to find water. So the rat won't have to die inside the house.
Me: So your plan is to make the rat leave the house in search of water and have it die of old age? What's to stop it from coming back after it gets the water?
Exterminator: There's a slow poison in the food that acts after 2 or 3 days.
Me: Why wait? Why not kill it outright? The rat could go anywhere in that time.
Exterminator: There is an alternative. Lock the door to the room, and call us when you smell something and you know the rat is dead.

That's so dang brilliant. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of Man Vs Rat.

Tomorrow: The Hallmark Holiday!