Students Banned From Saying Hi To Teachers

SENTUL, Wednesday - In an astonishingly lame move by the administration of Wesley Methodist School, students are no longer allowed to say 'hi' to teachers.

School Principal Vimala Matthews announced that it would be henceforth considered a violation of school rules for students to greet members of the teaching staff with 'hi'.

"We have certain protocols in this school," said Matthews from the podium at assembly. "You don't just say 'hi, madam' or 'hi, sir' like they're your friends. When you see your teachers you greet them with 'good morning' or 'good afternoon'."

As the students gathered in the basketball court exchanged incredulous looks, Matthews added, "Teachers, if any student says 'hi' to you from now on, send them to me."

"We've heard a lot of dumb shit during morning assembly, but this really takes the cake," said Kenji Low, a student at the school. "Lately, there's been a lot of pressure on us to greet teachers whenever we see them, in the corridors, in the classrooms or in the cafeteria. And we didn't mind, even though they said we could get sent to the office for not doing it, because it's always been a thing we've done in this school, under threat of punishment or not. But this new rule? Gay."

This new ruling, publicly viewed as retarded by the majority of the student body, was a source of bafflement even to prominent student authority figures.

"If we can't say 'hi' to teachers, can we say 'bye'?" asked Head Prefect Sanjay Chandran. "What do we have to say to them at the end of the day now, thank you? Before this rule was announced I was going around saying 'hi' and 'bye' to everybody, but now I have to keep stopping myself from saying 'hi' all the time."

Chandran then wished a group of passing teachers 'thank you' as they headed towards the gate. "I'm so confused," he said.

"Damn cibai la," said Sally Wong, whose real name has been changed to protect privacy. "You see now Matthews become principal also sure think she damn big already then make damn alot of sohai rules. Cannot say 'hi' to teachers... what the fuck? You tell me retarded or not? She think we all follow what she say like dog only... what shit is this right?"

Even ex-principal Anthony Reynold Peter found the school's latest policy to be "utter bullshit".

"I did a lot of good things during my time as principal at Wesley," said Peter, who constantly can be found walking around school grounds despite having retired at the end of last year. "But it looks like all that hard work is coming undone, thanks to the morons now sitting in my office. How many more dumbass laws can they pile onto these kids until the parents decide that enough is enough? All I'm saying is, the school might be looking for a new principal soon."

When reminded that he had already retired, Peter remained unfazed. "Because no one has ever come out of retirement, right? Get real."

---

In other news... totally bored student pimps out calculator after finishing his computer exam in ten minutes.

That student would be me. Here's a picture of my calculator, with a black and red finish.

Reminds you of a Ferarri, doesn't it? What's the plural for Ferrari anyway? Ferraris? Ferrarii?

My calculator on the inside, and on the back.

Like I said, I did the whole thing in thirty minutes waiting for the exam to finish.

It's the first time I ever tried something like that, and my marker pen was out of ink from the start. Not really satisfied with the way it turned out, but it's a solid first effort.

Why don't they let me sit for the art exam anymore?