On Comics + Chuck Norris

I said there would be editing. This page is now about Chuck Norris. Scroll down.

There is also a very important question for all Wishmakers, at the end. Read and reply! If there is insufficient feedback the series will not move forward.

Comicky day.

I finished my Sam and Fuzzy contest entry (which I like the end product of very much considering how I rushed it all in about one night).

At first I was all hyped up, then I slacked off and almost forgot about it until Mark reminded me just yesterday. He submitted his own entry, go check it out. Pills!

"There are only three days left to enter the art contest and make your bid for a special Plaid Edition Sam and Fuzzy book. Don't let the plaid book become your Mr. T mall visit. You'll regret it later!" - Sam Logan

For those of you too lazy to click and find out what a Mr. T mall visit is, being a nice-ish person I am accomodating of your tubby, finger cramped selves.

"You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day, I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later, I'll go a little later...' And when I got there, they told me he just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he'll ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again!" - Homer

But you should click it anyway. It leads to a priceless collection of Simpsons things!

Remember what I said about people and things like Pook being connected through their hearts? As it turns out... Pooh doesn't have much of a heart. Just fluff and blood.

More comics and quotes tommorow. I am late for sleep. And that Interact IU thingamabob which I *have* done *halfway*.

"Yeah, I eat Nefarions for breakfast. I mean, my Stainless Steel server normal elf protection warrior has to train in the Underworld now! Of course there's such a thing as an Underworld! What do you think the Undercity's part of? There's an Understate and Undercountry too. Duh." - Jun Ian

On Chuck Norris

No explanation is required. You do not question Chuck Norris.

There is a Chuck Norris fact generator that draws from a database of four thousand. The site also includes a Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts database. It can be found here. The site includes a Top 100 Facts for Chuck Norris. Some of the list:

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
3. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
4. Originally, Jawbreakers were in the shape of Chuck Norris' fist.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
7. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
8. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.
9. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
10. Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.
11. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris has his own list of favorite jokes about himself. The list and article is here. For those of you adverse to clicking links, here's the list anyway.

From a list of Chuck Norris' favorite Chuck Norris jokes:

1. When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2. Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
3. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
4. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up - he's pushing the Earth down.
5. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
6. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
7. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
8. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
9. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
10. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
11. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
12. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
13. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
14. Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
15. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
16. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
17. Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on Satellite TV.
    

Important Question for Wishmakers: Wishworld continues in Black and White? This will increase the base quality and production speed. But well, it just won't be in colour any more. Yes or no? Pressure!

Keyblade War

Maps removed. Event over. That was cool. Paintball hurts. Home movies lame.

Funny how two simple words can make my blood boil with anticipation.

Keyblade war.

Damn. I don't think I've been looking forward to a new game so eagerly since... well, since the first Kingdom Hearts. This is my current wallpaper. 1024 just so you know.

I spent about thirty hours beating the game on proud mode. Worth every minute. I even bought into that teddy bear crap. Y'know, where Sora and Winnie the Pooh talk about how they'll never be apart no matter where they are cause they'll always be connected through their hearts.

It was sickeningly sweet, a purely Disney moment in every sense of the word and I loved it to bits. It reminded me of the time I watched that Winnie the Pooh movie (the Great Adventure or whatnot; the one with the cave) where Pooh and Christopher Robin made the exact same promise to each other. I was a kid and I almost cried (I think). I love Winnie the Pooh.

I love Winnie the Pooh.

That's the other thing that was so great about Kingdom Hearts. Before I played the game, I didn't give a rat's anatomy about Chicken Little, and I thought that having him in the game would suck on so many levels. By the time I finished, he was the one summon I used the most.

It could only be Disney magic.

This is a first for me in video games. I had gotten to know all the characters so well that towards the end of the game I wanted a happy ending so bad. I loved them; Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Roxas, Namine... I really wanted all of them to be safe. I really kept thinking that something bad would happen to them, or that they would die before they made it home. What happened in the end... well, I think I'll wait for more people to finish the game before I spoil it.

The one, possibly best thing about Kingdom Hearts II was the secret movie I unlocked for unlocking all the worlds on proud mode. If you haven't seen it... well, it's good.

Play Kingdom Hearts. Play Kingdom Hearts. Play Kingdom Hearts. The game, I mean. I do hope this subliminal messaging doesn't backfire when you somehow end up with the sex toy.

Now for a conversation only WoW players will fully appreciate. Or people who pretend to play WoW. People like me.

Jason: Non-epic mount people, shut up.
Jun Ian: I think you're the only one in the whole school with an epic mount.
Jason: Yeah.
Jun Ian: Apart from me, that is.
Jason: ...Of course.
Jun Ian: My epic mount levelled up last night.
Jason: Really. What level is it now?
Jun Ian: Level two. I have a level two epic mount.
Jason: My epic mount is level sixty two.
Jun Ian: Cool. Guess what? I soloed Jonathan Marcus last night.
Jason: It's Marcus Jonathan.
Jun Ian: Yeah... it was his brother.
Jason: I see. What class are you?
Jun Ian: I'm a warrior. An... elf warrior.
Jason: Don't you mean night elf?
Jun Ian: No, it's a normal elf.
Jason: That's a blood elf.
Jun Ian: A normal elf.
Jason: What the hell is a normal elf?
Jun Ian: It's my class!
Jason: Race.
Jun Ian: Whatever. I have a level sixty alt, you know.
Jason: Doesn't everyone?
Jun Ian: He's a... tauren hunter. Uses a bow.
Jason: I can almost believe that. Only you're even more full of lies than Daniel. The worst thing that ever came out of him was some nonsense about a mushroom sword in RO.
Jun Ian: Hah! Do you know the Wuuf?
Jason: The Wuuf. Yeah I know him.
Jun Ian: Is that so? What class is he?
Jason: He's one of those new classes.
Jun Ian: No, he's a priest. He's been a level sixty priest since the weekend the servers opened.
Jason: Yeah right.
Jun Ian: Do you not read Flintlocke?
Jason: Do you know who Leeroy is?
Jun Ian: Leeeeroy Jenkins.
Jason: Yup. Who is he?
Jun Ian: One of my alts.

First Weekend of April 2006

Warning: This post is not for casual reading. It is damnably long, and was intended to be read throughly. Sections of it were written during a fitful doze, so some parts may not make sense. You have been warned.

Brian: So your class is going to the spastic center huh?
Rufus: Yeah, 4K and 4W are going.
Brian(4P): The two most retarded classes la.
Rufus(4K): Oh Brian, you're confusing your class with my class again.

When yesterday ended I considered it one of the best days of my life. Going treasure hunting with half the form, watching Inside Man and playing the new Kingdom Hearts makes for an pretty much unbeatable combination.

After today I know the truth. This has been, as far as my memory serves, the best weekend of my life.

Like, no shit.

Why? Cause today was my birthday, which I was initially going to spend playing more Kingdom Hearts (which by the way contains toxic amounts of kick ass).

But as it turned out some people had other ideas.

Conspiracy.

This is the buildup.

Wednesday, Cafeteria.

Peak Sheng: So that's twenty from you, and from Komala. Daniel, do you want to contribute?
Jun Ian: Hey guys. Peak Sheng, why do you have so much money?
Peak Sheng: Hustling.
Wai Khuin: Do you know why? Peak Sheng, I'll tell him okay?
Peak Sheng: Wai Khuin!
Wai Khuin: They're starting a PS3 fund for me. Do you wanna contribute?
Jun Ian: I'm sure.

Everyone laughs.

Thursday, Basketball Court.

Peak Sheng: So we gotta keep on...

Wai Khuin sees me on approach.

Wai Khuin: Hey, Jun Ian! The PS3 fund is really starting to come alive!
Peak Sheng: Good one, Wai Khuin!
Jun Ian: ... ...

Later.

Wai Khuin: You can't be that blur right? You do know what we're doing right?
Jun Ian: What?
Wai Khuin: Oh my god, you are that blur.
Jun Ian: Or maybe I'm just, you know, pretending to be blur.
Wai Khuin: I don't think so.

Friday, The Inter Net.

[10:36:14 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : oh, btw. how much are those FX
lightsabers? im thinking of getting one.
[10:36:51 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : 500-600
[10:37:06 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : a lot
[10:37:07 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : ouch.
[10:37:25 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : yes
[10:38:14 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : back to the drawing board
[10:38:40:PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : the drawing board... of... what
[10:38:44 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : so how do u plan to jive in my side of the story
[10:39:22 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : how to save more money for that thing
[10:39:36 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : ...
[10:39:39 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : pimp more
[10:39:49 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : u planning on ever getting one?
[10:39:55 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : eventually
[10:40:07 PM] [d] kingdom. hearts. TWO. : remember my story about the man, the boy and the plastic tube?
[10:40:14 PM] Peak0 - projekt G.I.G. : erm, vaguely
[10:40:25 PM] [d] kingodm. hearts. TWO. : yeah, I need to see if the impression sticks.

Saturday, Treasure Hunt Aftermath.

Peak Sheng: So, I'm taking Clarissa to 1U later.
Jun Ian: Why?
Peak Sheng: Oh she has some shopping to do.
Jun Ian: Shopping? Can I come along? I wanna watch V for Vendetta.
Peak Sheng: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Jun Ian: Why is that?
Peak Sheng: My mom might not be able to take you.
Jun Ian: You have a big car.
Peak Sheng: Yes... I do.
Mahadi: I wanna watch V for Vendetta too. Come on, Jun Ian, let's go to KLCC and abuse our Treasure Hunt shirts on the LRT.
Jun Ian: 1U is easier for me.

Peak Sheng speaks to his mom on the phone.

Peak Sheng: Don't take too many people la... she says she might not be able to send you.
Jun Ian: Me and Mahadi... that's all.
Peak Sheng: Also she uh just... cleaned the car. So if you're all dirty you shouldn't get in.
Jun Ian: I changed my clothes and now I'm at least as clean as you.
Peak Sheng: I... I guess it's all right.

Peak Sheng's mom arrives.

Peak Sheng: Jun Ian, you should go sit in the car first. Mahadi and I will wait here for Clarissa.
Jun Ian: Uh, okay.

Later, 1U.

Peak Sheng: Yeah, Clarissa and I are going to be in Coffee Bean for awhile. You go get your Kingdom Hearts.
Mahadi: Come on Jun Ian, let's go.

Received Key Item: Kingdom Hearts.

Jun Ian: Hey look it's Peak Sheng and Clarissa! Moving fast, too. Let's go over and say hi.
Mahadi: Um, yeah...
Peak Sheng: Yeah, then we should go get the...
Jun Ian: There were like six guys with Kingdom Hearts! It's everywhere!
Peak Sheng: Holy shit where did you come from?
Clarissa: Where's Mahadi?
Jun Ian: Across the way. You guys made it here pretty fast huh?
Clarissa: What's so good about this game?
Jun Ian: That there in the corner is Jack Sparrow.
Peak Sheng: Aren't you going to watch a movie or something?
Mahadi: We just came from TGV (or GSC, I always get them mixed up).
Jun Ian: V for Vendetta is 18PL apparently. And both Inside Man and V for Vendetta start around six anyway. I should be gone by that time.
Peak Sheng: Try the new cinema. Come on, we should be going.
Jun Ian: Yeah. Clarissa, can I have my game back?

Mahadi gets a call from Peak Sheng.

Mahadi: Yes, Sparkles. Yes I have fifty bucks. Hell no. Alright, see ya.
Jun Ian: What was that all about?
Mahadi: Clarissa needs fifty bucks for some shopping thing.
Jun Ian: I have fifty bucks.

Short Messaging Service.

Jun Ian: Why do you need fifty bucks?
Peak Sheng: Clarissa's short on cash.
Jun Ian: I can lend you fifty bucks if you really want it.
Peak Sheng: That's okay we got the money from Aiman.

Sunday Morning, Short Messaging Service.

Pia: Hey, happy sweet sixteen. =p Hope you have a great day...
Jun Ian: Thanks but I already had my great day yesterday and I doubt I'll be as lucky again.
Pia: Ah well. You never know.

Later, In Da Car.

Mom: Yeah, I have to go back to 1U. I left my watch there to get fixed yesterday.
Jun Ian: You're wearing your watch.
Mom: My other watch.
Jun Ian: So what are we having for lunch?
Dad: Jamin said she wanted Pizza last night.
Jun Ian: Pizza Hut?
Dad: So let's go to Shakey's.

Later, 1U.

Jun Ian: Rachel!
Rachel: New phone!

Rachel moves on.

Jun Ian: Who asked?

Kite shop (with kites).

Jun Ian: Azfar!
Azfar: Happy Birthday man!
Jun Ian: What are you doing here?
Azfar: Family stuff.
Jun Ian: Is that... Kingdom Hearts II?
Azfar: Yeah.

Shakey's Pizza.

Jun Ian: Let's sit here. Perfect spot!
Mom: Nah, let's sit outside.
Jun Ian: Why outside? One whole section has been reserved!

Outside.

Jun Ian: It is hot! Let's go in.
Mom: Wait here and I will tell them to turn on the fans.
Jun Ian: I'm going to the bathroom.

On the way to the Bathroom.

Jun Ian: Yoong Jie! Dexter! Azfar!
Dexter: Uh, hey.
Jun Ian: What the hell? Why are you guys here and why didn't you tell me?
Azfar: Hey man. I have family stuff.
Dexter: Yeah, I'm going to watch a movie with some people.
Yoong Jie: I'm just... here.

At the foot of the escalator.

Jun Ian: Wai Khuin!
Wai Khuin: Hey.
Jun Ian: What are you doing here? What's in that bag?
Wai Khuin: Present for Dass.
Jun Ian: An MU hat? How could you possess such a thing? Doesn't it burn you?
Wai Khuin: That is why it's in a plastic bag.
Jun Ian: When is Dass's birthday anyway?
Azfar: It's tomorrow.
Jun Ian: The what now.
Wai Khuin: Okay Jun Ian here is your present.

Wai Khuin presents pens.

Wai Khuin: I... was not able to remove the price tags.

The price tags are legible, but badly scratched and mangled.

Wai Khuin: But I did make an effort.
Jun Ian: Okay.
Mahadi: Hey.
Jun Ian: What is this? A twilight zone reunion? Why are you here?
Dexter: Hey Mahadi.
Mahadi: I'm just here because Peak Sheng asked me to be here.
Jun Ian: So he's here too? That's one crazy string of coincidences.

Back at Shakey's Pizza.

Jun Ian: And there are so many people here today! Maybe I should call them here and force Shern to buy us a cheese cake.
Mom: Maybe you shouldn't do that.
Jun Ian: This place is really... Eugene? What the hell.
Eugene: Hey.
Jun Ian: How did you find me? Did they tell you I was here?
Eugene: No, I was just... passing through. Here's your birthday card.

Eugene leaves.

Jun Ian: What???

Then the cavalry arrives. En masse. Peak Sheng. Michael. Eugene. Mark. Pardeep. Eliot. Jason. Dexter. Azfar. Dassila. Wai Khuin. Ben Kane. Yoong Jie. Mahadi. Pia. Sabrina.

Jun Ian: What the hell? Who told you that I was -

I turn to my mom.

Jun Ian: YOU!

And the rest, they say, is history.

Recorded history. Observe the following from the criminal files of the FBI.

It was about as seedy a gathering as the world had ever seen. Every criminal in the city from kingpins to street urchins were meeting in an unprecedented move by the Big Cheese himself to unite the gangs and take the city from beyond the grasp of the law.

Crime lords, drug pushers, hitmen, con artists, hustlers... the guest list read like the who's who of criminology.

A den of evil incarnate.

It started out alright, as the hoods got down doing gangsterly activities. Like playing pool.

And playing J-pop dancing games.

But criminals being criminals, several fights inevitably broke out.

By the time order was restored, it was discovered that the Big Cheese had met with an unfortunate "accident".

According to witness accounts this is the last time anyone ever saw the Big Cheese. Alive.

It was, however, general opinion that he did leave a rather dashing corpse.

A mysterious weapon was soon discovered at the scene of the "accident". Of course, the double inverted commas represent unmistakable evidence that the "accident" was no "accident" at all. It was... murder. DUM DUM DUM.

This is a case photo of the suspected murder weapon.

It is uncertain how the weapon was smuggled past security, but it is believed that it was somehow hidden in the food. This hints at an inside accomplice, and we believe our cameras have found just the person.

The lady in green is seen only once throughout the entire proceedings, sipping coffee at a restaraunt that serves no coffee. This hints at shady origins. Where did this coffee come from? Where was the lady in green at the time of the "accident"? But even so she could only have been an accomplice and not the murderer, as the following evidence proves.

After questioning it was determined that only one of three suspects could have performed the... murder. DUM DUM DUM.

The first is this man. Mohammad Azfar, convicted cereal killer.
He was released from death row after surviving the chair, the gas chamber and the firing squad through sheer stubborness. This was seen as by the warden as a sign that he was a man protected by God, and Azfar walked (on water).
In this picture he is in the act of putting a pool ball to sleep. Permanently.

A video of him in conversation with the deceased minutes before the "accident" was found in the security archives. Audio was lacking but our expert lip-reading experts from the Malaysian Association for the Blind have managed to fill in some of the gaps for us. The following is their transcript of the conversation.

*transcript begins*

"So glad you could join me, [unknown, possibly 'as far']."
"What do you want, Cheese?"
"Paranoid as always. Can't a man have a [unknown, no matches] talk with one of his friends?"
"You've got no friends, Cheese. And I know you didn't call me here to help you eat ice cream, so out with it - what do you want?"
"You cut me deep, [unknown, possibly 'as far']. Real deep."
"Is this about the [unknown, possibly 'few shun ring']? Because I thought we were already over that."
"Cool it, [unknown, possibly 'as far']. Whatever happens in Wai Kit Road, stays in Wai Kit Road. Remember? This is not about that night. Nights."
"Then what is it about?"
"[unknown, possibly ' chocolate cake']."

*transcript ends*

The second suspect is this woman. Last seen January 28th 2006 at the crime scene of the Chinese New Year case, she was then known only as the woman in brown. We now know her name is Cruella De Vil the Third, and like her mother and grandmother harbors a fetish for fur, especially dog fur. She is suspected as an accomplice because of previous involvement with Azfar, during an incident where she alledgedly saved him from a puppy named Vicious. Yes. That incident.

The third and final suspect is Jonathan "Sparkles" Tan, so named for his secret mutant power to make things sparkle. He has been charged for multiple attempts at grand theft auto and is also suspected of prize fraud in last year's Defence of the Ancients competition. He is seen (far left) in this picture with a group of people all dressed the same. Who are these fashion victims? Clearly the mysterious cult group known only as Organization V.

This picture was taken the day before the... murder. DUM DUM DUM. It shows more supposed members of Organization V. A cryptic message, Start/Finish can be seen. What could it mean? Clearly something sinister. But not half as suspicious as the mysterious Hot Link. What is this link? Could it be the key to linking this case together?

This picture of him with a unnamed man wielding the mysterious weapon was found in an anonymous tipoff. This is obviously a standoff of some sort, which (hypothetically) ended with the unnamed man launching the weapon and his entire body into the suspect's left eye at approximately the speed of sound. While this matches the fact that insults were directed at the assailant's mother some time earlier, it does not match the fact that both victim and assailant of this supposed attack are seen alive in this next picture.

Conspiracy.

This coded message was later discovered at the scene of the... murder. DUM DUM DUM.

Within the envelope were photographs from a terrorist training cell. It was a clue that only led to more questions.

Upon closer inspection, it was a letter to the Big Cheese from one of the other crime lords in attendance, informing him that the situation had escalated and warning him of hidden dangers. The letter reads as follows.

The situation has been escalated. Beware of hidden dangers.

- Crime Lord

P.S. - Nope no one has seen Azfar. I heard about that ice cream problem of yours. Good luck getting him to help you eat it.

The message, apparently never reached Big Cheese. The messager was sidetracked at the event.

He had some business with an orphan named Voon, who may or may not have been involved in the... murder. DUM DUM DUM.

The mystery remains unsolved, but clues point to a secretive but all-powerful shadow organization as the puppet masters.

The evidence seems clear, but the FBI is again baffled. Once again they want you, faithful readers, to have the final say on the case. So tell us. What really happened to Big Cheese? Tell us what you think!

You can make a difference.

A final, baffling addition to the case: neither of the previous stated possibilities explain the suspicious actions of this man.

The Eliminator

Downloading - V for Vendetta, Inside Man.


Yeah. Just so you know I do fully intend to enter this competition, if for nothing else to break into the webcomic circle. While I doubt I'm ready for that kind of publicity, chances like this ain't hardly too common. And dude... it's Sam and Fuzzy.

Yow Hwui: Did you know he's a gangster?
Jun Ian: Him. Sek Yung.
Yow Hwui: Yeah he is. Likes to cut people's hands off.
Peak Sheng: Yeah, like mine.
Jun Ian: He did, eh? Did he tell you this or what?
Peak Sheng: He constantly tells Jiam that he's gonna cut off my hands by the end of the year.
Jun Ian: And which year is this?
Peak Sheng: Every year.
Eliot: Hehe he'd be all, yeah I'm gonna cut Peak Sheng's hands off by the end of the year. You said that last year. Well, I meant this year.
Jun Ian: Funny guy. During kompang we were all outside of the classroom then suddenly Peak Sheng comes out of the classroom in front of us. Then Norman says, ah this sucks I hate it. And Sek Yung says, Peak Sheng eh? I hate that fucker too. And Norman's like, what? I was talking about how hot it is.

So I didn't bother to look for the missing pieces. But hell with that, the post goes up anyway. This means substantially more to the Puay Chai graduation year of 2002 than anyone else, but that doesn't mean you can't have a click to see the way people like Sabrina and Peak Sheng thought back in the day.

Ever saw the special section?

Jun Ian: So for English we have to write an essay on the barrens.
Li Wen: You know who lives in the barrens? Barons.

Yesterday, I hit a new low with a new high score. If you ever played computer solitaire you will notice that 75 seconds is ungodly fast. Then again, I play solitaire like an extreme sport.

Peak Sheng in school is running a hustling job. How else would you explain all the money he's been collecting from various persons lately? Male persons. Wai Khuin's explanation that they are starting a PS3 fund is an obvious front for something deeper and more sinister.

Azfar: What products does our country produce?
Jun Ian: Petroleum?
Azfar: Pertanian la. What do Malaysians farm.
Jun Ian: Creeps?

Just so y'all know, I am promising not to make a false promise that I will do *something* for my birthday this year. Unlike last year, where I forgot all about it and kept putting it off and eventually just gave up. Only it won't be this weekend, y'know, cause of the treasure hunt. I think this will give me planning time. Who has been spreading lies about my birthday anyway? Five people have already wished me ahead of time. Stop the lies. Lies.

Return Of The King

Ambitious title, I know.

Initially, this post was going to be called Elder Scrolls. Nothing to do with Oblivion, but some old papers I've been meaning to publish for a while now. But now I can't find half of what I wanted to blog, so that's going to have to wait until I see if my source still has the files.

Look, this isn't too bad either. What is it? It is the first page of an experimental comic project.

Hypothesis: Black and white owns color so hard.

So far the results say yes. The first page reveals nothing about what this comic is about. Some of you already know, y'all shut up now. The rest of you can find out when I publish. These comics are way easier to publish, they look nicer and take less time to draw. Maybe it's just the atmosphere in this particular strip that allows for black and white. No worries, when Wishworld resumes it will be in color.

So... Shamir. Who is Shamir? Shamir is the man. Mahadi should have some pictures up. He took one of the man today, in all his Daffy Duck glory. Check his blog, it's not up yet but it should be soon.

Edit: Okay, here it is.

Shamir aka the Man aka the Penguin, photo courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood Mahadi

Shaegan: Shamir, this is Kevin Tan. Say hi Kevin. Say hi, Kevin.
Shamir: Hi.
Kevin: Hey.
Shaegan: Now you can tell everyone that Kevin Tan is your friend, and you'll be the coolest Form One kid around.

This went on for a while. We gave him the formal introduction to Faridah, Selva, Raja Azam, like every member of the kompang group, way too many students to remember, and the big cheese himself. I am, of course, talking about Jimmy.

In some cultures, Shamir is known as the Penguin.

Mahadi: Shamir, say hi to Susie.
Shamir: Hi.
Mahadi: Susie, say hi.
Susie: Hi.
Jun Ian: Say damn you, Batman.

Susie hits me.

Shamir: Damn you, Batman!
Susie: ...

Unfortunate Event of the Day: Shamir has no MSN.

Mahadi: That's an awful ManU jersey.
Shaegan: This jersey rocks.
Mahadi: It's long sleeved. What kind of football jersey has long sleeves? Shamir, say Shaegan's jersey sucks.
Shamir: Your jersey sucks!
Jun Ian: Now say Mahadi's Arsenal jersey sucks.
Shamir: Your jersey sucks!
Shaegan: What?
Mahadi: The hell? What team do you support anyway?
Shamir: Liverpool!
Shaegan: No wonder la insulting both jerseys so happily.

Fortunate Event of the Day: Shamir is a Liverpool supporter. Also, Liverpool won again. That makes 18 goals in 4 games. Eat it, world.

By the way, all of you honor students and prize winners. I cannot tell you, in words, how wonderful it felt to stand there surrounded by your little tablets and plaques as you were the stars of a glittering ceremony, which I missed by a grade in a retarded subject, playing drums for all of forty seconds to welcome a VIP who seemed all too eager to get away from us. Damnation, I say.

Damnation.

By the way, those of you who have not heard Lisha and Lih Fern's important something, consider yourselves yourselves. Is the important something beneficial or enlightening in any way? Does hearing it make one a better person?

You be the judge.

Lih Fern: Can we tell him?
Lisha: Let's tell him.
Jun Ian: This sounds bad.
Lisha: Jun Ian we have something to tell you.
Lih Fern: Something important.
Lisha: Jay Chou is hot.
Lih Fern and Lisha: SO HOT!!!

I buried my face in my kompang to stop the shaking.

Lost and Found

For those of you might have missed it:

Wishworld is now on temporary hiatus. This is so that I can level up for awhile and resume the storyline when I have enough skills to do it in a satisfactory manner.

In the meantime... comics and other such artistic experiments of varying quality that may or may not make your eyes bleed.


I think I wasted my day today. There was that whole deer in headlights thing, though. That was pretty funny.

Also I set high scores a couple of days ago for Solitaire and Minesweeper. This is sort of a new low for me.


Final Fantasy XII has been released in Japan. What, not hyped yet? Well, this should get your final fantasy fever going. Chocobo Sex.

The gameplay video for Ultimate Utopia XXIII is out. That's right, twenty three. If you are an RPG fan of any sort you owe it to yourself to watch this video. Watch it.

Wishworld, Endings and Beginnings IV

In the darkened room the gathered held steady, their expressions masked in shadow. Four now stood in the center of the group, the steadily burning fire in their midst. As each wish was listed, blue flames flared in silent agreement. Then they finished speaking, and one of the watchers spoke.

“That’s awful. And you’re going to allow that?”

The cloaked man didn’t turn. “It’s their right, chosen. You have three wishes too.”

“It’s not like I can wish it away.”

The other three standing in the center turned to the speaker, who got to his feet and stepped into the circle.

“At least not directly.”

The first of the Wishmakers smiled in amusement. “I take it you’ve thought of something.”

The newcomer nodded. “I wish…”

Manhattan, New York. Ten days after the start of the Third World War.

---

What, you think that was short? Maybe it was, but since that's page one of a two-page comic sequence my hands are pretty much tied. So the next installment will open with a comic page.

The links on the right have been updated. I have something special planned for them.

For those of you who haven't seen this, my comic has been dropped a line.

That's pretty much all I can think of for now. That didn't take too much of your time now did it?

Spring Break!

This is part of my resolution to do more actual blogging.

One comic and one brief update a week does not qualify a blog. A blog means more of this.

Jason: Check it out, I'm a secret agent!
Sanjay: Yeah, I could be James Bond.
Jun Ian: You'd be Black. James Black.
Jason: James Black!
Sanjay: Isn't that the name of a singer?
Jun Ian: What, you mean James Brown?
Sanjay: No, he sang the you're beautiful...
Jun Ian: Dude that is James Blunt.
Jason: James Black pulak what singer....


And stuff like plays.

Eliot, playing Ralph, acts out a scene from the first chapter.

Eliot: Hey there, Piggy.

Sanjay, playing Piggy, has his school shirt in a bundle around his stomach under his sports shirt.

Sanjay: Yo yo!
Stan Lee: Piggy is a young boy. Make your voice sound like it.

Sanjay adopts a ridiculous falsetto. Eliot follows suit.

Sanjay: Whassup Ralph!
Eliot: Hi Piggy!
Stan Lee: No! Ralph can speak normally!
Eliot: Okay okay. Look! It's a rock in the water!

Sanjay throws his arms in the air for dramatic effect.

Sanjay: THE CONCH!!!
Eliot: I've seen these!
Sanjay: What are we supposed to do with it?
Eliot: Well, you blow them.
Sanjay: Teach me how to blow the conch!
Eliot: So you wanna blow my conch huh?

The pair make various beeping and honking noises back and forth like an open mic contest. An open mic contest for retards. Sanjay makes a couple of farting noises for good measure.

Stan Lee: Enough! Jack, come in! Now, Jack has a real attitude. He comes in thinking how he's the leader of these choir boys and that he's that much better than everyone else.

I play Jack.

Jun Ian: WOOOOOOO!!! WHASSUP LADIES!!!
Stan Lee: Ladies now??
Eliot: There are no ladies dude...
Stan Lee: Oh God...
Jun Ian: Alright, uh... whassup homies?
Li Wen: Ask them if they trip on pins.
Jun Ian: Do y'all trip on pins?
Li Wen: No don't ask that, are you crazy?
Eliot: So... lame...

Later, during the scene where the boys elect a leader.

Sanjay: Elect a leader, we must.
Eliot: A republic!
Jun Ian: Who wants me... Jack Bauer?

Dead silence.

Stan Lee: The choir boys want Jack!

Stan Lee starts to squeak. The cast follows suit with enthusiasm.

Stan Lee: Yes, yes, we want Jack!
Sanjay: Jack! JAAACK!
Eliot: Oh my God we love you Jack!
Jun Ian: Bear my CHILDREN!
Stan Lee: Okay okay, Ralph!
Sanjay: Who wants me???

The screaming reaches frenzy.

Sanjay: EAT IT, JACK!
Jun Ian: ...this is the longest day of my life.

And the sketch goes on. In hilarious fashion.

Stan Lee: Alright, enough! Go back and sit down!
Sanjay: Madam, wait! We haven't gotten to the Obi-Wan part yet!
Stan Lee: The what?

Someone should make a video. Literature students gone wild.

Yeah, you might notice that had nothing to do with anything. It was actually old material I keep in a notepad called 'Pandamonium Filler'. You want relevance?

SPRING BREAK!!! WOO WOO WOO WOOO!!!

Spring break is next week! Only we don't celebrate that at all. If we did, this would totally be cramming time.

Why the hell do we not have spring break? If we did I would be totally justified in wearing a cowboy hat the whole week.

This is a scene from last saturday's Amazing Race (which by the way was totally cool).

Guy: Hey you! Chemical Romance!
Me: What?
Guy: You're the killer right?
Me: Am I?
Guy: Tell me la... otherwise I ask this guy to mountainback you.
Me: You do mean brokeback mountain right...

I actually wanna do a comic set piece on some Race stuff. Cause I need stuff like that to keep me away from, yknow, boredom.

This is boredom.

Not impressed? Check the score, check the time. Do you have any idea how much solitaire I play, mortal?

The whole reason why I even play solitaire like a freak is because I haven't got the specs to play more current games. Do you know what I have on my com?

I have Doom Shareware for Windows 95.

Also I can't seem to find Black anywhere.

I need you, Black. Need you like sugar crackers.

At least now I have Shadow Hearts. Which kinda totally rocks. I mean, what other game has fusions, fetishes, calorie vampires, Roswell, a giant cat called Meowus that looks exactly like George Lucas, the Meowmenator, an American Ninja called Frank who fights with a bus stop stand, baiting and beating up defenseless animals to trap their souls in pots, an item shop run by a gay couple, the Mafia and so much innuendo you could choke on it?

I am so writing a review on this game. But we're getting sidetracked from the business at hand.

Spring. Break.

We need spring break. Not least so we can have one more week of holiday, but also so I can walk around the beach in a cowboy hat. Taken from Jeffrey Rowland's diary comic Overcompensating, the ten rules of Spring Break.

1. It is the whole week of whenever the Ides of March is.
2. It is to celebrate the creation of the entire universe.
3. You have to obey the rules of Spring Break.
4. Even though there aren't, you have to act like there are Ten Rules of Spring Break.

Now the real reason why I am plugging Jeffrey Rowland is because he is paying tribute to Arrested Development, which he calls the greatest television show ever made. This is true. It is awesome.

Anyway, I am starting a Spring Break petition. There will be conditions.

1. Someone has to find out the actual date for when Spring Break actually is.
2. During Spring Break people will hang out at the beach and wear funny clothes (like a cowboy hat). This is, of course, entirely optional. You may opt not to wear clothes at all.
3. We need clean beaches for Spring Break. Someone will have to clean up Malaysian beaches for this purpose.
4. During Spring Break several Girls Gone Wild videos will be shot. These videos will not necessarily be restricted to Girls Gone Wild, and may include the following to be included.

• Guys Gone Wild
• Cowboys Gone Wild
  
• Families Gone Wild
• Pets Gone Wild
• Librarians Gone Wild
• Grannies Gone Wild
• Final Fantasy Gone Wild
  
• VCD Sellers Gone Wild*
  
• Barisan Nasional Gone Wild*
• A.R. Peter Gone Wild*
  
• Mahadi Gone Wild*

*Only In Malaysia

Other conditions of Spring Break:

1. Strict adherence will be observed to the ten rules of Spring Break (see above).
2. In every Spring Break gathering at least one person must shout "woo".
3. Spring Break is a period where no one is allowed to say "no".
   
4. Someone has to discover the true meaning of Spring Break.

"I don't know [the true meaning of Spring Break], baby. But I'm going to find out if I have to leer at every exposed breast and drink every tequila shooter in town." - Jeffrey Rowland

Conditions of Spring Break will be published in fours.

1. What happens in Spring Break stays in Spring Break (unless of course it is already all over the internet).
2. During Spring Break, staying straight is not an option.
3. During Spring Break all concerts or playing of music in general must be accompanied by loud, off-key singing or banging of tables or both. You have the right to be drunk while purusing these activities.
4. Returning to school during Spring Break is excusable as long as it is with malicious intent.
   

Now, to support the Spring Break petition you may publish in comments or write something about it on your blog. Or you can, for all of next week, use the [SprinGBreaK2006] tag in your MSN name or whatever. Just show you support in some way. Flashing in front of the school (or just me) is fine too.

Now go forth and party.

Wishworld, Endings and Beginnings III

"So the girl's gone? No clues who she is or who took her?"

"Actually, there were several. I need some time to think about it. Michael -"

"The Precipitate touched down several minutes ago, while the rest of us were asleep."

"Good."

They walked in a single file, Dassila first, Dexter second and Michael bringing up the rear. This made conversation especially inconvenient, but it was necessary as in wake of the surprise attack in the Kremlin, paramedics and cleanup crews rushed up the corridors and back again ferrying pieces of equipment and the injured or dead.

"That's the end of it, then." Dexter and Michael turned to Dassila. Sort of. "Not a sovereign state left in the world to oppose your rule. "

"You sound dissatisfied." Dexter noted.

"Maybe I am. Congratulations on taking over the world and all, but what do we have to look forward to now?" Dassila didn't look back.

"You know, most people would be satisfied bringing down two hundred governments in seven days."

"Not like I took them all single-handedly."

"Like hell I was going to wait three weeks." Dexter said as Michael laughed. Dassila however looked thoughtful.

"That would have been more funny before that woman almost defeated all three of us by herself. Who the hell has the power to do that anyway?"

"Actually, I was more surprised it didn't happen more often." For the first time, Dassila looked back at Dexter in incredulity. "The world's other superhumans have been remarkably calm about all this."

"Oh, so is that what we are now?" Michael spoke from the back of the group.

"You know what?" Dexter frowned. "I have no idea. We definitely have the power, but with none of the usual symptoms portrayed by superhumans or mutants."

"Exactly." said Michael. "I've been wondering for some time how we even got these abilities. Some of which don't even seem to be recognized powers at all. Do you think world domination could be the result of some -"

As if reaching an accord, the three fell silent and continued walking as though nothing had happened. Dassila spoke first.

"So the girl's gone huh? No way to find out who she is or who sent her?"

"I think there were enough clues for me to figure it out. But I need time. Got you good, didn't she?" Dexter turned his head slightly. "Michael, has the Precipitate arrived?"

"Yeah, she's here. Are we finally heading to Asmodeus?"

"The world's ours now. It's time we took our seats at the head of its new capital."

"Yeah." agreed Dass. "I think I'm the only one here who hasn't been there yet."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, while Michael and I were overseeing its construction you were off conquering entire nations by yourself."

"That was pretty cool. I think my favorite was the Vatican. You should have let me handle the whole thing by myself. Can you imagine? One man against the world."

"Yeah, that's Dexter." Michael laughed. "I don't doubt you could have done it but then it would hardly have taken a week would it?" Then he was struck by a sudden feeling of deja vu, as though they were having a conversation they had before -

The team reached the entrance hall of the Kremlin. The doors were open, and it was snowing outside. The Precipitate, the jet of Michael's personal creation was parked on the grass. As they drew near, the ramp extended and a man in a pilot's uniform greeted them.

"Dexter, Michael, Dassila, welcome back. Emma and Rachel are hanging round back."

Dexter shook his head as he shook the man's hand. "Putting the six hundred channels to good use, I'm guessing. Is this what I'm paying you all for, Summers?"

"It's you, Excellency. Haven't you heard?" The pilot laughed as they stepped into the plane. "You're all over the news."

"I'll say it again, Michael." Dassila dropped his coat and flopped onto a seat. "No one designs a top-of-the-line next-generation luxury jet the way you do."

---

Okay, I just realised that making extra content is stupid. I should save it and work on next week's installment. I also know that some of you want me to get back to actual blogging. This I doubt I will have the time to do. Not to say that there won't be a blog entry if I think something particularly noteworthy has happened. Which does, yknow, happen all the time.

Remember how I promised the good guys (now known as S.P.E.C.T.R.U.M.) airtime this week? Well, that was because I only intended to give them a short story as first. But now I've went and drawn a comic for their installment, which I find only fair since the Empire guys already have three. So it'll be up next week. But it will be good.

On a side note, I really don't have much to say. I'll probably blog something later this week.

I hate to say it, but at times the Rascal Flatts singer sounds like Stitch. I really like their song Bless The Broken Road, but the way she sings the line "this much I know is true" just creeps me out.

Sorry to those of you Wishmakers who have yet to make an appearance, but since I'll get more practice in before your sections it means that your comics will be nicer.

Sky Pirate Controversy

The sky pirate mini-story was something I was going to use a replacement for my regular Wishworld update, and ended up consuming my entire weekend. Which was supposed to be for studying. Meh.

We still need three Wishmakers. But that's all the space I'm going to use for advertising today.

The Sky Pirates crew consists of Captain Jack Sparrow, Wai Khuin and Clarissa. What they do is... essentially they raid airships and fly kites off the sides of the Skellington. Now the comic (see scumbag I can still do black and white take that haha). Click on the Skellington to read the comic.


The first thing you may notice is that I have transcended the concept of panels with borders and speech bubbles. Now the potential for my work is limitless.

The next thing you may (or may not) notice is *SPOILER DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE FINISHED THE COMIC UNLESS YOU WANT THE COMIC SPOILED* that several of the characters in this little drama display underlying homosexual tendencies. This was written in subtly as so to teach a valuable lesson about the gay community while keeping the original enjoyability of the comic.

Hell, the entire storyline revolves around the closet homosexuality of the protagonist. There is an important message here:

Wai Khuin it is okay to be different. We will accept you for what you are.

By the way yesterday night I downloaded Brokeback Mountain, Longest Yard and You Got Served. All these movies rock hard. Possibly they will have varying degrees of rock, meaning that one may rock harder than the others, but we will see when I finally get my sound drivers fixed.

Mention: I did something for Wen Juin's blog today. Do you see the part where the words 'Tortured Joy' are all shiny? I made them shiny.

Plug: Sarah Lim aka Susie. Science will one day ask exactly how nice one person can be, and on that day it will be Susie who answers. Ad infinium. She wrote a piece on all her friends (well, not all of them that would be stupidly time consuming) it was called my wonderful wonderful friends and it was a very nice thing to do. Especially since there she wrote thirteen articles with pictures and stuff. Reading her blog you will notice that it is completely devoid of 'edge' in any shape or form. It is just candy colored fun. Or at least I think it is.

Also: Why am I writing like this? Possibly I am trying to kill certain people by writing entire paragraphs without a single comma but it could also be because I am high. Why would I be high though exams start tomorrow and I am so not ready. See here I am blogging hence the state of unreadiness.

Thing of the Day that was Wrong: I don't think I can post it here it's just too... wrong. It is however available by request if you wish to distract yourself completely from the wholesome aspects of life. I will send it to you over MSN.

I should stop now I really have to study more if I want to not get screwed in exams on Monday.

He Smells Axels In The Wind

So I said I wouldn't be doing any Wishworld this week. Yeah, but that won't stop be from assimilating a character databank of sorts. So... something to look forward to.

Important Wishworld note: Our roster currently includes 17 characters; 13 boys and 4 girls. I want 3 more wishmakers before I make the character sheet... after that I plan to close registration for awhile. Considering the current gender ratio the last three spot would... desirably... be filled by members of the fairer sex. Lisha, this means you. Edward's made a wish to be able to teleport to your side no matter what, how can we pull that off without you in the story?

Moving on... your character concepts. The first three members of the good guy team. Can you tell who they are?


I love lists for some reason. I think my secret mutant power is sorting things.

Evil Empire (of Evil)

• Dexter
• Michael
• Dassila

Alliance of Wishmakers Whose Powers Consist Mainly of Avoiding Trouble or Running Away From It (A.F.R.A.I.D.)

• Eliot
• Jason
• Pia

Ninja Mafia (started by a man who quit to become a sky pirate)

• Aaron
• Azfar
• Edward
• Sabrina

Freedom Band of Politicising

• Sparkles
• Mark

Sky Pirates

• Jack Sparrow
  
• Wai Khuin
• Clarissa

Traditionalists (the ones who wish to see the world we knew restored)

• S.H.I.E.LD.
• The Ultimates
• Zhen
• Eugene

Very Important Note about factions: You can switch sides if you want. Just drop me a line. If you're unsure, trust me. This has been done to each of your preferences anyway. This is stuff I need from each of you.

• Evil Empire - The high seat of your capital is the Asmodeus. Michael, name the jet.
  
• A.F.R.A.I.D. - Your spaceship is the Hot Dog. Your bestselling manga is Tenken. Find a better name for yourselves.
• Ninja Mafia - Just give me some ideas on what you guys would like to see yourselves doing. Choose a district to operate in and name your headquarters.
  
• Freedom Band - Sparkles you get to name the band, and two of your songs. Mark, name another three songs and write a couple of sample verses. This is one of the ways you get to change the world (the other way is so much cooler but that's central to the overall plot).
• Sky Pirates - Your captain is Jack Sparrow. Name your airship and your secret base.
• Traditionalists - Your ranks are boosted by Earth's many superheroes and celebrities. Tell me which agencies you would like to be affiliated with, and your codenames in those agencies.
• Everyone - If you want Real Life (TM) celebrities in your faction (like Jack Sparrow) just tell me who you want and what they'd be doing.
  

Okay, now for actual blogging.

Did you hear? Batman's taking on Osama bin Laden and the rest of Al-Qaeda. This new two hundred page opus (called "Holy Terror, Batman!") is going to be inked by none other than the master of black and white, Sin City's Frank Miller himself (Mark, wet your pants with excitement now).

The ink of the scholar ir worth more than the blood of the martyr. Do you know who said that? The Prophet Muhammad himself. I love that line. I don't agree with it, but I love it all the same. Click for link to cool Islam site, where cool things are said about the cartoons and the fragility of Islam.

Life's been fun. There was stuff I wanted to write about, dialogue and quotes and stuff. I think I forgot them. Never mind that, I have photographs.

Buzz Lightyear tape. Ah, good times.

This is my favorite toy from a kid's meal. It is from Burger King. It is a rebel snowspeeder from Star Wars and it can fly. Actually all it has is a spring and wheels but if I flick my wrist while launching it in mid air it flies pretty far.

On Burger King...

Eliot: Yeah, I never knew McD had free refills. It was always more of a BK thing.
Li Wen: Just feels different. And McD cups are so small.
Eliot: In BK they don't fill the cups to the tops.
Li Wen: That's cause BK cups are huge.
Eliot: BK cups make small children cry.
Jun Ian: Oh, you'd be all "Why is this cup so big? I ordered a small."
Eliot: And they'd say, "Sir, that IS our smallest size."
Jun Ian: "What does big look like?"
Li Wen: "Wait, give us time to prepare the special equipment."
Jun Ian: No, that's not all there is. "There's big, there's collossal and there's intergalactic. And there's a little something we like to call the Alpha Omega."
Eliot: Hah! "My God! Why isn't it on the menu?"
Jun Ian: "Federal law requires that we serve it by special request only. If you finish it we immortalize you forever on the back wall." And on the back wall there's like two photographs...
Eliot: Two guys, like, Miss Cellulite Universe winners.
Jun Ian: Nah, there's a fat guy and a skinny guy.
Li Wen: The skinny one has no bladder control.

I still have this thing. Remember how it promised you DotA players Warcraft III posters and CDs and T-shirts if you won?

Mein freunds, eat your hearts out.

I will be going back to normal posts for awhile on account of exams. During the holidays stuff will happen. Maybe because I realised that I lack the time and skill to keep up Wishworld in the way I have been doing so far. No worries... this will not result in a drop in quality, or taking 'creative liberties' of any sort. I'll just have to find ways to do it better.