Spring Break!

This is part of my resolution to do more actual blogging.

One comic and one brief update a week does not qualify a blog. A blog means more of this.

Jason: Check it out, I'm a secret agent!
Sanjay: Yeah, I could be James Bond.
Jun Ian: You'd be Black. James Black.
Jason: James Black!
Sanjay: Isn't that the name of a singer?
Jun Ian: What, you mean James Brown?
Sanjay: No, he sang the you're beautiful...
Jun Ian: Dude that is James Blunt.
Jason: James Black pulak what singer....


And stuff like plays.

Eliot, playing Ralph, acts out a scene from the first chapter.

Eliot: Hey there, Piggy.

Sanjay, playing Piggy, has his school shirt in a bundle around his stomach under his sports shirt.

Sanjay: Yo yo!
Stan Lee: Piggy is a young boy. Make your voice sound like it.

Sanjay adopts a ridiculous falsetto. Eliot follows suit.

Sanjay: Whassup Ralph!
Eliot: Hi Piggy!
Stan Lee: No! Ralph can speak normally!
Eliot: Okay okay. Look! It's a rock in the water!

Sanjay throws his arms in the air for dramatic effect.

Sanjay: THE CONCH!!!
Eliot: I've seen these!
Sanjay: What are we supposed to do with it?
Eliot: Well, you blow them.
Sanjay: Teach me how to blow the conch!
Eliot: So you wanna blow my conch huh?

The pair make various beeping and honking noises back and forth like an open mic contest. An open mic contest for retards. Sanjay makes a couple of farting noises for good measure.

Stan Lee: Enough! Jack, come in! Now, Jack has a real attitude. He comes in thinking how he's the leader of these choir boys and that he's that much better than everyone else.

I play Jack.

Jun Ian: WOOOOOOO!!! WHASSUP LADIES!!!
Stan Lee: Ladies now??
Eliot: There are no ladies dude...
Stan Lee: Oh God...
Jun Ian: Alright, uh... whassup homies?
Li Wen: Ask them if they trip on pins.
Jun Ian: Do y'all trip on pins?
Li Wen: No don't ask that, are you crazy?
Eliot: So... lame...

Later, during the scene where the boys elect a leader.

Sanjay: Elect a leader, we must.
Eliot: A republic!
Jun Ian: Who wants me... Jack Bauer?

Dead silence.

Stan Lee: The choir boys want Jack!

Stan Lee starts to squeak. The cast follows suit with enthusiasm.

Stan Lee: Yes, yes, we want Jack!
Sanjay: Jack! JAAACK!
Eliot: Oh my God we love you Jack!
Jun Ian: Bear my CHILDREN!
Stan Lee: Okay okay, Ralph!
Sanjay: Who wants me???

The screaming reaches frenzy.

Sanjay: EAT IT, JACK!
Jun Ian: ...this is the longest day of my life.

And the sketch goes on. In hilarious fashion.

Stan Lee: Alright, enough! Go back and sit down!
Sanjay: Madam, wait! We haven't gotten to the Obi-Wan part yet!
Stan Lee: The what?

Someone should make a video. Literature students gone wild.

Yeah, you might notice that had nothing to do with anything. It was actually old material I keep in a notepad called 'Pandamonium Filler'. You want relevance?

SPRING BREAK!!! WOO WOO WOO WOOO!!!

Spring break is next week! Only we don't celebrate that at all. If we did, this would totally be cramming time.

Why the hell do we not have spring break? If we did I would be totally justified in wearing a cowboy hat the whole week.

This is a scene from last saturday's Amazing Race (which by the way was totally cool).

Guy: Hey you! Chemical Romance!
Me: What?
Guy: You're the killer right?
Me: Am I?
Guy: Tell me la... otherwise I ask this guy to mountainback you.
Me: You do mean brokeback mountain right...

I actually wanna do a comic set piece on some Race stuff. Cause I need stuff like that to keep me away from, yknow, boredom.

This is boredom.

Not impressed? Check the score, check the time. Do you have any idea how much solitaire I play, mortal?

The whole reason why I even play solitaire like a freak is because I haven't got the specs to play more current games. Do you know what I have on my com?

I have Doom Shareware for Windows 95.

Also I can't seem to find Black anywhere.

I need you, Black. Need you like sugar crackers.

At least now I have Shadow Hearts. Which kinda totally rocks. I mean, what other game has fusions, fetishes, calorie vampires, Roswell, a giant cat called Meowus that looks exactly like George Lucas, the Meowmenator, an American Ninja called Frank who fights with a bus stop stand, baiting and beating up defenseless animals to trap their souls in pots, an item shop run by a gay couple, the Mafia and so much innuendo you could choke on it?

I am so writing a review on this game. But we're getting sidetracked from the business at hand.

Spring. Break.

We need spring break. Not least so we can have one more week of holiday, but also so I can walk around the beach in a cowboy hat. Taken from Jeffrey Rowland's diary comic Overcompensating, the ten rules of Spring Break.

1. It is the whole week of whenever the Ides of March is.
2. It is to celebrate the creation of the entire universe.
3. You have to obey the rules of Spring Break.
4. Even though there aren't, you have to act like there are Ten Rules of Spring Break.

Now the real reason why I am plugging Jeffrey Rowland is because he is paying tribute to Arrested Development, which he calls the greatest television show ever made. This is true. It is awesome.

Anyway, I am starting a Spring Break petition. There will be conditions.

1. Someone has to find out the actual date for when Spring Break actually is.
2. During Spring Break people will hang out at the beach and wear funny clothes (like a cowboy hat). This is, of course, entirely optional. You may opt not to wear clothes at all.
3. We need clean beaches for Spring Break. Someone will have to clean up Malaysian beaches for this purpose.
4. During Spring Break several Girls Gone Wild videos will be shot. These videos will not necessarily be restricted to Girls Gone Wild, and may include the following to be included.

• Guys Gone Wild
• Cowboys Gone Wild
  
• Families Gone Wild
• Pets Gone Wild
• Librarians Gone Wild
• Grannies Gone Wild
• Final Fantasy Gone Wild
  
• VCD Sellers Gone Wild*
  
• Barisan Nasional Gone Wild*
• A.R. Peter Gone Wild*
  
• Mahadi Gone Wild*

*Only In Malaysia

Other conditions of Spring Break:

1. Strict adherence will be observed to the ten rules of Spring Break (see above).
2. In every Spring Break gathering at least one person must shout "woo".
3. Spring Break is a period where no one is allowed to say "no".
   
4. Someone has to discover the true meaning of Spring Break.

"I don't know [the true meaning of Spring Break], baby. But I'm going to find out if I have to leer at every exposed breast and drink every tequila shooter in town." - Jeffrey Rowland

Conditions of Spring Break will be published in fours.

1. What happens in Spring Break stays in Spring Break (unless of course it is already all over the internet).
2. During Spring Break, staying straight is not an option.
3. During Spring Break all concerts or playing of music in general must be accompanied by loud, off-key singing or banging of tables or both. You have the right to be drunk while purusing these activities.
4. Returning to school during Spring Break is excusable as long as it is with malicious intent.
   

Now, to support the Spring Break petition you may publish in comments or write something about it on your blog. Or you can, for all of next week, use the [SprinGBreaK2006] tag in your MSN name or whatever. Just show you support in some way. Flashing in front of the school (or just me) is fine too.

Now go forth and party.