Spiderman <3 MO and Heroes + 5

Hiro: Should I stop time?
Peter: No. I haven't had a good fight in years.

What happens next? Something cool no doubt.

Okay, okay. This post contains MAJOR SPOILERS about Spiderman 3 and Heroes.

I had to make the text bigger and emphasize this fact because three people already told me they spoiled themselves.

Spoilers are not good for your health.

If you want to enjoy these shows, leave now and come back after you've watched them.

Cause they're so much better unspoiled.

I warned you.

First, we interrupt this broadcast to bring you a picture of pandas doing handstands. On a tree.

Picture credit to Fox. And now we return.

Spiderman <3 MO

The first thing you have to know about Spiderman 3 is that it's...

Yup. EMO! Notice anything different about this poster? I did it myself.

Look closely dammit.

There are three things you should keep in mind when watching this movie.

1. Forget the comics.
2. Don't sit next to Li Wen.
3. Refer to 1 and 2.

The movie and the comics are two different things. If you get them mixed up you're going to end up making comments like this.

"That's not how the symbiote came to earth! Venom doesn't die that way! I thought Eddie Brock becomes Carnage later how can that happen? Why hasn't Gwen Stacey died?"
- Ben Kane

Personally I think Spiderman 3 was awesome. A couple of others said that the second one was better, but I don't remember it as being that good, and I don't feel like watching it again. I feel like watching 3 again though.

Peter with the black spider suit is completely badass and it is so good.

Out of costume, he has a towering mountain of personal issues. It's not all his fault, but life has a way of handing Peter lemons at every turn. There's a permanent residence in Springfield and then there's life as Peter Parker.

"OMB his life is so screwed up! I mean, I always knew he was a loser... But I didn't know he was that big a loser! WTH!"
- Li Wen, on Peter Parker's life

Okay I don't think he actually said those things but it was close.

If you fell down the social ladder of the Marvel Universe, at the bottom you'd find Grasshopper, a character so unfortunate he only appeared in one issue of the Great Lakes Avengers before being killed almost immediately.

"Five point eight seconds. A new record for shortest membership on ANY team."
- Monkey Joe, team sidekick, on the fast life and tragic death of Grasshopper

Well, Peter Parker isn't at the bottom of that ladder. But his life can and does suck.

This is fact.

So when the symbiote finally gives him a chance to take a walk on the dark side - basically his ticket out of loserville - it's not surprising how his behaviour changes.

I wanted some caps of his wardrobe, but I love this guy as an emo.

Remember the bar scene? When he gets his John Travolta on and then sexes up Gwen Stefani - whoops, Stacey - in front of MJ just to get back at her? As soon as I saw where they were going I knew it was gonna be good. Love his line when he slips the hostess a bill and tells her to "find us some shade".

Well this picture is okay but in the bar she looked so much better.

And when he takes it to the streets as Black Spidey he's ten times as hardcore. Example, the second time when he fought Harry, when they were in the secret room in Harry's mansion. Harry threw a goblin bomb at Peter's back and he just ducked, snared it with a webline and casually flicked it back into Harry's face which was off the charts and probably illegally cool.

You know what they say... once you go black, you can't go back!

Not that he doesn't have his moments as regular Spiderman. The way he destroyed Venom? Driving hollow bars into the ground to make a cage, rattling and banging them all the time to paralyze the symbiote with sound... that was... well.. I'm out of superlatives. Not really. I guess there are the regular ones like extraordinary or delightful. But those aren't extreme enough and besides I always wanted to say that.

Harry is cool as the New Goblin. Too bad he gets impaled on his own flying skateboard.

There was one fun little scene that gave us a hint of Carnage in the future movies. When Peter was using the phone and flirting with the landlord's daughter ("get me some milk" -D), he was doing his best not to pay attention to what Dr Connors was saying but if you did you would have noticed that he did have a sample of the symbiote with him. Spiderman 4, anyone?

If you had a choice, Gwen Stacey or Mary Jane Watson?

The one thing I took issue with was the unreliability of the goblin bombs. Peter's taken a bomb close to the face and all he lost was part of his mask. Harry took one in much closer proximity and developed burn marks not unlike the map of Australia Mahadi's got on his arm. But when Harry launched a bomb into the Sandman's head the resulting explosion had a mushroom cloud.

Maybe Harry's arsenal had a couple of duds. ROFLcopter.

One thing we all agreed on was that the movie at times had a decidedly MCR look to it. The scenes from the bar and the church could have made a video for The Black Parade or maybe I Don't Love You. Any ideas?

Heroes + 5

Five years gone. This episode is a look into a world where the heroes never saved the cheerleader or stopped the exploding man. This world is so much darker and more dangerous, which leads us to more powerful heroes and more intense battles.

I'm already out of blogging steam and I wanna get this to my publisher so I'll be quick. (Promise not to publish any spoilers?)

The future is wow. But it's also... very dead.

1. Nathan (killed by Sylar after becoming president and powers taken)
2. Candice (killed by Sylar after going into hiding and powers taken)
3. The Haitian (stabbed in the neck by Mohinder)
4. Claire (killed by Sylar pretending to be Nathan and powers taken)
5. Mr Bennet (shot by Matt after revealing Claire's location)
6. DL (killed by Sylar after going into hiding and powers taken)
7. Molly (killed by Sylar after going into hiding and powers taken)
8. Micah (died when the bomb exploded)
9. Ando (died when the bomb exploded)
10. Isaac (killed by Sylar and powers taken)
11. Hiro (shot by Matt while trying to teleport)
12. Hana (shot by Matt for helping Mr Bennet)
13. Zane (killed by Sylar and powers taken)
14. Dale (killed by Sylar and powers taken)
15. Charlie (killed by Sylar and powers taken)
16. Eden (shot self in the head to prevent Sylar from taking powers)

At least we have some super super heroes.

1. Peter (completely kickass)
2. Sylar (like Peter, but evil)
   

Okay, not that many. But Niki's a stripper now. And Jessica tragically disappeared somehow

I have a GIF file of Peter and Sylar fighting. Or at least, firing up their ice and fire powers. But for some reason I can't get it to move on blogger. Hmmm?